Sunday, March 13, 2011

Daddy's Boy

Today was filled with multiple mini moments that filled me with joy.  On their own, and to the average eye, they may seem unusually ordinary.  To me, they were the kind of moments that soothe my soul and help to heal my heart.

There was a time I worried what Noah's relationship would be like with his dad.  Shortly after losing Austin, I could sense a distance with Tim from Noah. Perhaps Tim was guarding his heart, afraid to give 110% of himself again, only to lose something he loved more than own life.  Maybe he was just in too much pain to connect with anything -or anyone- at the time.  I understand both of those possibilities completely.

Losing Austin made me cling tighter to Noah though, prayerful and thankful for every single second with him.  To this day, I worry more, hold closer and choose time with him over anything else.  I hug deeper, love stronger, and appreciate each and every precious moment.  From the beginning, if there's anything I gained in our loss, it was a more meaningful and strengthened relationship with Noah.

With Tim, he seemed slower to come out of the fog.  But just as a flower needs sunshine and water to grow, Noah's love was just what he needed.  The laughter Noah brought, and brings to us each day, is medicinal.  Each time he'd wrap his chubby arms around him, I watched another piece of cold melt off him.  Each giggle would warm Tim's heart.  Noah helped heal us both - and still does to this day.

This morning, Tim and Noah spent the morning cuddled in his new bed.  I delivered breakfast to them and they enjoyed it over cartoons.  On the way to the tournament, they spent the drive picking on me, a favorite past time of theirs.  Once home, Noah was Tim's helper in picking up supplies for the yard and the week.  Laughter from outside my open windows caused me to snoop, only to find them tossing a football in the yard.  To myself I thought, "this is a good day" so it only made my smile brighter to hear those exact words from Noah as he came into the house hours later. 

As I said, nothing extraordinary...just your average, every day Sunday with dad and son.  But to me, so very much more.

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