Faithful Friday: Thanksgiving

Happy belated Thanksgiving!  Knowing the week I would have, this post was started early, something I don't normally do.  I put the finishing details on it this morning, complete with coffee and PJs.  My hope is that your bellies and hearts are full by the time this reaches you.

Our Thanksgiving day was spent serving, a fairly new tradition our family started a few years ago.  As usual, God had great things in store for this year's event.  In the midst of the organized chaos, He never ceases to amaze me how it works out perfectly.  As the drivers were dispatched, trays of turkey and dressing in hand, calls began to come in.  "Where is this street? GPS can't find it."  And unexpectedly, "I have the same list as someone else!"  -oops.

The best message though came from a driver who shared that at his last stop, the lady answered and told him someone had already been there.  (Not the duplicate list mentioned above!)  As he was about to leave, she shared that her two sons were on their way.  As it so happened, two meals were what he had left.  I double checked all the routes and the lady was only listed on his.  Most certainly a God thing!

Thanksgiving had been a particularly difficult holiday for us, as it was our last one with Austin.  As such, there's a lot of painful - and bittersweet emotions around this day.  The first Thanksgiving without him I just wanted to ignore and avoid.  It was a welcome change and a perfect fit for a family focused on RAKs in the month of November to be a part of delivering meals to those in need.

Of course, with this new tradition, I no longer cook a big meal to have family over.  Instead, we eat lunch with the volunteers that day.  In some ways I miss it, but knowing how special our last get together was, which happens to also be my most popular post, gives me comfort in how it ended.  Time changes things and God has a purpose in it all.

The week will still be peppered with family, beginning with a Wednesday meal at my niece's (so strange to see her all grown up and hosting!), a visit at my grandma's, and ending with our own little turkey meal at home.  A new-to-Tina activity will be a night at the Shriner's circus, thanks to this girl winning tickets on the radio.  We haven't gone since the boys were little.  She is super excited and I'm thrilled to share this experience with her.  An added bonus is that my mom, sister and her littles will be joining us.

Folded in will be lots of Random Acts of Kindness as we wind down to Austin's Heaven-anniversary. We've done RAKs throughout this month but tomorrow will be the big day, complete with our favorite tradition, the Reverse Shopping Spree and a new one, backpacks for foster kids.  

Though we may do better year to year, prayers are still appreciated.  Keeping our minds busy doesn't take away the tug in our hearts.

Truly though, when I think back to those first holidays after losing him, it is amazing the healing that God has brought to our family.  I remember the broken, being lost in the darkness and depth of grief, and wondering if the pieces would ever come together again.

We will never have a day that we don't miss Austin but the pain, most days, does ease over the years.  And for that I am ever-thankful to my God.  He has returned JOY to us, even in the midst of our loss.

Thankful Thursday: Hodgepodge of Help

In this season of thanksgiving, this spirit of helping others in need, I bring you a hodgepodge of helping opportunities.  My collection this week may seem random but all serve a purpose.


First of all an update to Habitat.  I hear they are still in need of Saturday workers.  Below is a message from the Baptist association:

"If you would like to help with this project I encourage you to call Steve Flener and 270-256-6950 for more information.  The home is located at 728 2nd Street in Beaver Dam and they usually begin work around 9am in the morning.  This is a great opportunity to help out one of our own! So even if you only have a couple of hours on Saturday please consider helping out.  Every volunteer hour that is recorded helps the Mason's out tremendously!"

A "hug from above" update on the food pantry, in that I heard they helped 232 people last week.

Now, to other needs around us.

"Betty's Buddies" is a beautiful new program, formed in honor of a wife battling Alzheimer's.  She is currently receiving care in a nursing home and her husband noticed how many others never receive visits.  BB is a "mentoring" type program where people can sign up to be a buddy and just simply visit someone, to make them smile and give extra company.  Right now, they are doing a fruit basket campaign by partnering with IGA to provide for every nursing home member in the county.  You can give a donation as small as $5 to help ensure someone gets a smile this season.

Thanksgiving is 1 week away.  Do you know someone who is home bound and will not have a meal this holiday, perhaps a neighbor or someone you know in need?  If so, please contact me personally, as our church delivers meal on this day throughout Ohio county.

Or, perhaps you could use this as your RAK opportunity and invite them over to your home?  Or stop in and surprise them with a plate and a quick visit.

With the holidays in mind, do you know someone who is newly grieving this season?  I just had a comment from a mom who lost her dear daughter just four weeks ago.  How I remember the firsts after losing Austin.  My heart goes out to those especially who see the anniversary of their loss around the holidays.

If someone comes to your mind now, consider that as a God-nudge asking you to do something for them this season.  It doesn't have to be big.  Maybe a note on their door or in the mailbox.  Everyone gets Christmas cards but how many get a card around Thanksgiving?  Or, as you are packaging up leftovers from your dinner this week, maybe you could deliver it to a new widower, who finds it hard to eat alone this season.  The next time it snows, maybe you could surprise them with a salted and cleaned driveway?  A simple act of kindness to someone grieving can go so far to their health, happiness and healing.

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." 

Thankful Thursday: There's No Place Like Home

Home is my safety net.  The ultimate comfort zone.  A haven at the end of a long day.
Where my family is gathered will always be Home.

Through our married lives, we've lived in several houses.  From tiny apartments to country rentals to life in the suburbs.  Owning a home was a dream of ours but one that didn't come right away.  And while it wasn't my dream home, I'm grateful the wish was fulfilled.

Ours is a simple home.  No bells or whistles and in great need of refreshment and repairs but it has a roof and four walls to contain the love within.  And though it be modest, I know we are blessed to have this home, even with dated wallpaper and tears in the carpet.  Because so many do not.

Working with families who can't find adequate housing, I know the struggles.  Everyone just wants a place to call their own.  A home.

One organization helping to meet this need is Habitat for Humanity.  Our county is blessed to have an active chapter.  In fact, the ninth house is currently being built - just a hop and skip from where we live.

There are many ways you could volunteer to help with the current or future projects.  From money to sweat equity, your donations can make a difference.  They are about 100 tickets shy of completing the gun raffle.  Another need I've heard they have is feeding the volunteers while they are at the job site.  Lots of potential RAKs with this project!

For some, the thought of owning a home isn't even on their dream radar.  Just having a place to lay their head is.  Homelessness happens, even in small rural counties like ours.  But a homeless shelter is in the works.

Actually as this posts, there is a planning and zoning meeting tonight concerning the shelter.  Pray that votes go in the shelter's favor for them to move to the next step.

How else can you help?

A big need is money.  The next lofty purchase for the shelter is a fire alarm system so watch for upcoming fundraisers and support them, or donate direct below.

Checks can be made to:  Promise Home

1081 Rochester Rd, Beaver Dam

Or take to Commonwealth Community Bank. 

Other donations or questions call Angela Porter Stewart at 2561504

Supplies are also helpful.  Here is a list of their greatest needs.  They do not have to be brand new but should be gently used.  Desks and baby beds have been filled.

Promise Home is a 501(c)3 organization so donations are tax deductible

If you're reading this from the comfort of your home, consider doing a RAK or helping someone in need of housing today.

Thankful Thursday: RAK Kickoff

Faithful Fridays will be temporarily on hold for the month of November, in order to bring you something timely for the Thanksgiving season.

November is a bittersweet month for us, a time of remembering what a special gift we had in Austin, but also in reliving the horror of losing him.  As the first anniversary of his death rolled around, something difficult to celebrate even knowing where he was, our family decided to do random acts of kindness in his memory.

The next year it grew as friends and family jumped in to remember our son.  Every RAK done for Austin is a hug for our souls!

I've pondered this year on how to roll out Random Acts for Austin and been in prayer for needs in the area.  Between last night's scene and an inspiring story on tv this morning, Thankful Thursday was born.

Each week, I'll bring ideas for our area of things your family could join in on in memory of Austin.  Now, I realize many of my readers are across this earth, so just use them as a springboard of inspiration.  There are always needs all around us, we just have to use God's eyes sometimes to see them.

A new activity our family plans to do this month is to fill a backpack for a foster child.  We happened upon this beautiful idea on social media and it instantly spoke to me.  You see, for those who are new to this blog, our niece unexpectedly landed on our doorstep 3 1/2 years ago, with only the clothes on her back.  Even though she was family, it was a difficult adjustment period and just stocking her with clothes and basics was quite an undertaking.  Thankfully God, friends and family helped us through.  Now, she has so much "stuff" we periodically have to purge and donate!

But I remember the look on her face, the shock and loneliness, even though she came to family she knew and loved.  I can only imagine the feelings foster children go through, as they are planted in a new place with unfamiliar faces and surroundings.  Most have nothing of their own to go with them.  These backpacks are a wonderful idea and I can't wait to go shopping with our kids to build some hope and love for two teens.  The link is above for Katie's project.  If you aren't in the area, you can donate to her cause.
**(when I went to copy her link, 123 shares was the first thing I saw.  Austin wink!)

Last night, on my way home from work, I passed a location that I drive by multiple times a day.  With the time change, it was already very dark but the lights from this building shone on the line of people waiting to get inside.  It was our local food bank.  My heart broke in that moment and I found myself praying for the people in line the rest of my drive home.

We've never gone without food in our life.  Growing up, I remember "tough times" and we poke fun of my mom for the month of dumplins we ate one year, but looking back I'm tearful and grateful for her dedication to ensure that no matter how tight finances were, she always had a hot meal on the table as we came home from school.

My children have never known hunger and for that I'm ever-thankful.  Yes, there have been rough moments, due to job losses and tragedies, but God has always provided.  Some meals the kids might not have listed as their favorite, but their bellies were full when they fell asleep.

Groceries are expensive!  Our own household has recently had a tightening, a readjusting of meal planning, in an effort to trim the budget.  But I cannot imagine knowing I didn't have anything to feed my family.

Below is the contact info for our local pantry.  I have a message in for what needs they currently have and will update this post when they call.  Search out your local pantry this month and consider donating to help those in need.

If you donate or do a RAK this week, post a comment and let me know. I have no doubt Austin is smiling down on all that will be done!  Thank you for giving of your resources!

Ohio County Food Pantry 

boxed, canned, perishable goods to the low income citizens 
1220 S. Main Street, Hartford, KY 42347
Telephone - (270) 775-5913

**Post Update:

The Food Pantry serves over 600 families a month in Ohio County!

So they are ALWAYS in need of food or money to purchase it.

If you're interested in donating, Pat (number above) will arrange for pick-up or delivery.

Thank you!!

Purpose Driven Acts

This is our week to make a difference.  To remember our son. 

Austin's purpose in this world, without a doubt, was to make a difference to anyone he met.  He'll always be remembered for his kindness to others.  It is because of his caring spirit our Random Acts of Kindness project was born.

November 29 wasn't ever a date I expected to have such significance.  Shortly after Thanksgiving, it was normally such a happy time for our family.  Now, it is a day laced with painful memories of losing our 14 year old son, Austin.  In fact, the entire month seems somewhat like a countdown to that horrible night.

It's almost been five years and what we've learned along the way is to focus on the positive.  Remembering what we're thankful for and how much we're blessed, despite this great loss, is how we've survived. 

For us, it is now more than just a day to honor him...It is a month of Thanksgiving.  In gratitude for the 14 years we had with him, we give back every single day of November.  In some ways small, in some ways big.  They may be "random" but each is done with a very special purpose.

A previous year's post explains it more for those of you who are new.  And here's a recap of the beautiful acts done for Austin one year.  And one of my favorite activities we've made an annual tradition.  So many wonderful stories of how this simple act of helping others helped us heal.... 
(you can search "acts of kindness" on this blog to read even more).

If you'd like to join us in RAK this week, or on November 29, please send us a quick note with your random act.  You can message me below, or even post on his Facebook page here.  Prayers of thanks and blessings in advance for remembering Austin in this way!

Faithful Friday: Thanksgiving Begins

Happy Thanksgiving!

No, not the turkey-laden national holiday...but true thanksgiving.
Being thankful for one's blessings.  For me, it is more than a day, as I choose to reflect on thanksgiving the entire month of November.  In all truth, I try to live every single day like this.

Webster defines thanks·giv·ing  [ thàngks gívving ]  as this:

• : a prayer that expresses thanks to God

I knew I liked that Webster guy...

So on this November 1st, I start my thankful journey and random acts of kindness done in memory of Austin.  If you're new to this blog, you can catch up here as to the "why" behind this project.

Want to JOYn in? 

You can start small.  Simply dedicate your social media to thanksgiving.  Each day post something you are thankful for.  30 days of thanks.

Stumped on what to choose?  Ann Voskamp does a beautiful job here.  She even takes it a step further and chooses three things a day.

Even more?  Add random acts of kindness.  Search my blog for ideas of things we've done in the past, or Pinterest.  Good stuff there.  You can do it in memory of our sweet boy, or someone you love, or just because.  Send us some extra hugs on November 29 by messaging me some of your acts.  It's how we choose to remember Austin and what helps us get through the anniversary of losing him.

For today, I'm thankful for...being thankful.  For being in a place where I can see the good within the bad.  For the healing time - and God - brings.  For the month of November, though laced with painful memories, and the opportunity it gives to pause in thanksgiving and to share the love of God with others.

What are you thankful for today?

Faithful Friday: Kindness

My heart says it was just yesterday....my head knows it has been 4 years.

The only part of yesterday I looked forward to was knowing the many acts of kindness done in Austin's memory.  I'm grateful to friends and family who won't let Austin be forgotten and choose to remember him in this way. We're blessed from the many prayers said for us yesterday- the many days prior - and those in the future.  Thank you!  For an otherwise terrible date on the calendar, we felt Austin everywhere and the day was filled with kindness.  God was certainly holding our family and His love was spread throughout.

The Lord says: Don’t brag about your wisdom or strength or wealth.

If you feel you must brag, then have enough sense to brag
about worshiping me, the Lord.

What I like best is showing kindness, justice, and mercy to everyone on earth.

Jeremiah 9:23-24

A collection of kindness done this month in Austin's memory and shared with us...

In honor & memory of Austin I called a friend this morn offered to

keep her sick child so she could go to work & not miss a day.

Our school club, friends of Rachel, is planning on helping a family on Christmas.

Our next RAK is collecting mismatched socks and gloves for a shelter.

My goal 300 socks and gloves! I know it will be a success,
you will be watching over us Austin!!

...we've taken meals to sick friends, sent random texts to encourage someone, stopped to help a stranded motorist, delivered thanksgiving meals to those working or without, prayed for the vehicle in front of me while driving, surprised workers with donuts...

Preparing and delivering a meal to a friend,

 whose family is in another state and has no family to spend the holiday with.

Giving toys for the EHBC community Kid's Christmas party.

At work we are going to adopt a family from Christmas Wish instead of doing our usual gift exchange.

Operation Christmas Child Boxes filled and delivered to church.

Helped prepare a meal for a group of hardworking kids.

Helped fill Thanksgiving food boxes for families in our community.

Salvation Army Bell Ringing Days picked.

Thoughts of you were with me all day!!

My random act of kindness is taking a sweet baby boy to see his grandma at work today. The smile on her face when seeing him melted my heart I am so glad that I was able to do that for her today :)

My friend Katie was at the mall and found $10 bill and turned it in instead of pocketing it like most would have done. Then here is the big story, as we were headed to Louisville to go to her house, we passed a car on fire, we automatically turned around and called 911. A man was in a ditch, his car was on fire. We saved this man's life by calling 911, along with another couple we met, who ran down the hill to the man who had somehow managed to get out of his car.

My friend Rachel was at work & she saw a man who had run out of gas, he was outside in the freezing cold so she gave him gas money. She said he thanked her numerous times and it brought tears to her eyes.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
1 John 3:18

The last two days have truly been "all things Austin". The blessing yesterday from a stranger. Today, a phone call asking if I needed "some" food for families. The answer was "YES"!! It was the end of the day and I didn't know how I would get this done. I called my "RAK" partner in kindness and she went picked up "some" food. She brought "some" food back to school. Stuart and I went to help my friend and her daughter fill the boxes only to find "some" food was enough fresh fruit and veggies to feed "17" families. We have 8 of of the boxes delivered and tomorrow I will take the rest. I can't even explain the excitement on the faces of my kiddos. The sweetest moment was when two of my kiddos asked if they could help me take them for their neighbors!! They knew the need. I said, "How do you know where they go". One replied "We know because we know you and it's where you would take it." It was "all things Austin!"   I bought groceries for a friend

Austin, I try to do RAK everyday..not just this month. It doesn't have to be something big..a smile can make a difference to a person! Because of you, I try harder and harder to live my life by the Golden Rule!!

I know this isn't much. But at Hobby Lobby today I paid for the lady's next in line purchases and told her the story of how Austin was so giving and generous and how I was helping her in honor of him. After a few tears and a hug she departed and the clerk checking me out said "God Bless You, I don't know your situation or your friend but I think he would be proud, I know God is." Such a great feeling.
Thank you Austin for your inspiration and warm heart. I miss you!

In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said,

‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35

Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you. 
It truly hugs our hearts to see Austin remembered this way!

We ended last night with our annual tradition of letting the kids do a reverse shopping spree, surprise free drinks, and included free laundry at local laundromats.

    

Austin, you are still missed with every breath, but we feel you so close whenever we're helping others. 

 

Faithful Friday: Love in a Shoebox

How can a shoebox give hope?  When it is packed with goodies, sent with love, and includes the best gift ever - the message of Jesus!

Mark 16:15 “Then he told them: Go and preach the good news to everyone in the world.”

We've decided to donate through Operation Christmas Child in memory of Austin, as one of the many acts of kindness we'll do this month.  It's an added blessing that our church is partcipating so it makes sending the shoeboes even easier.

The kids and I have been packing our shoesboxes over the past couple days.  Well, techinically they aren't shoe boxes, they are plastic containers with lids around the same size.  We thought they might be more useful to the child receving and durable to hold their treasures.

I've been touched by how excited they have been to do it and the serious conversations we've had around the table.  As they put in flashlights, we discussed how many of the children live in a world of darkness - both literally and figuratviely.  And although the gospel is shared with each child who receives a box, the kids wanted to include items within and on their box declaring the love of Jesus.  We've prayed about the kids who, within weeks will open these boxes of hope.

Originally our kids decided to do teenage boxes, figuring most people would probably buy for younger children.  We enjoyed it so much though that I surprised them tonight with an extra bag of goodies to do for the next age down as well. 
I think we've found an annual tradition and one that I hope to grow next year.  We jumped on too late to make a large impact, but every single box makes a difference.

Want to help?  Click below to learn how to make a shoebox.  Or, if you want to donate online, you can even track where your box ends up.  If you're local and you get it together this weekend, I'll even pick it up and take to church with me Sunday morning.  ....Get packing!  :)

How to Pack a Shoebox

Operation Christmas Child seeks to bring hope

and joy into the life of a child through the shoe box gift, but it doesn’t end there. Operation Christmas Child has worked with the local churches in over 150 countries to make sure that children know that long after the candy is gone and the toys have worn out, God loves them, has not forgotten about them and longs for them to be His children. We share with them a very simple, but profound message of hope, a message that you have probably heard before: John 3:16.

Faithful (Sat): Belated Help

Ooops!  I forgot to write a Faithful Friday post yesterday.  Of course I realized it was Friday - I mean who can miss such a great day of the week?  I just neglected to ever put a post together, until this morning.  My hope is that you'll excuse me, as the afternoon was spent preparing for some upcoming "RAK" ideas I have.

As the saying goes, it's better late than never, right?  And that is also true for helping someone.  While RAK can be either planned or spontaneous, we often overlook helping those in need because "time" gets in the way.  Maybe someone you know has just suffered loss or was recently in the hospital.  You missed the funeral or weren't able to visit them in recovery.  So we sometimes shrug, maybe say a prayer, and go on with our lives.  It's easy to not do something because time has passed.

But it's never too late to do an act of kindness.  Even if it is a phone call or hand-written letter (yes, people still do that), just to say you've been thinking of them.  What I know from tragedy is that the pain and the need doesn't go away after the first few days.  Perhaps your delay in offering help was God's plan all along.  You were sent to that family at just the perfect moment they needed a ray of hope.


Is there someone out there today that you could be a help to?

For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ -Matthew 25:35-40

A Month of Thanksgiving

If you followed this blog last November, you know what the month is for us - a mix of emotions ranging from deep mourning and loss to blessed thankfulness.

November 29 wasn't ever a date I expected to have such significance.  Days after Thanksgiving, it was normally such a happy time for our family.  Now, it is a day laced with painful memories of losing our 14 year old son, Austin.  In fact, the entire month seems somewhat like a countdown to that horrible night.

It's been nearly four years and what we've learned along the way is to focus on the positive.  Remembering what we're thankful for and how much we're blessed, despite this great loss, is how we've survived.  But more than that, it is the launch of the Random Acts of Kindness we do in memory of Austin.

Last year's post explains it more for those of you who are new.  And a recap of the beautiful acts done for Austin here.  And one of my favorite activities last year we're making an annual tradition.  So many wonderful stories of how this simple act of helping others helped us heal.... 
(you can search "acts of kindness" to read more).

As I've done for the past two years, I'll dedicate my Facebook status to something I'm thankful for each day.  This blog will also be focused on thankfulness and we'll sprinkle in stories of the acts of kindness being done.  I hope you'll join us.

Today I'm thankful for... a month dedicated to remembering my son, Austin. 

For the blessed memories...for the 14 years God let us borrow him...

for the random acts of kindness we now do in his memory.

This post is linked up with:

Thankful Thursday Link-up

An Extra Day

Who doesn't wish for more hours in a day?  I would guess Moms especially mutter this, as they juggle caring for their children, keeping up with the house, and especially for those with an added ball in the air who work outside the home.  Life is busy.  We all long for more time...an extra day.

But what would you do with that extra 24 hours?  How would it best be spent, if only it magically appeared?  Maybe it would be nice to have an extra day just for ourselves...to be pampered, to relax, to rejuvenate.  As someone who longs for energy most every day, I could certainly daydream of many me-centered activities.  Unless you've preplanned the upcoming extra day (aka Leap Day) though you may have few options to prepare something for yourself, like a day off.

So, how can you make the most of it?  As you might guess, this happy little blog would suggest something JOY-centered.  Perhaps you can make a donation to a charity, adopt a pet, invite someone to church, call a friend who's had a difficult time, the opportunites are endless!

For me, JOY often involves doing something for others.  Seeing someone smile, or making their day, returns to me tenfold.  And that's how I choose to spend my "extra day" this year.  It will be random, in the moment, acts of kindness.   But I'm opening myself up now to seek them out, to look a bit harder for them, and hopefully for a few needs to find me.

Our family has set aside time each year to remember our son, Austin, on his angelversary in this same way.  This past year we moved from one day to an entire month.  Those RAK days for him were amazing, and with each act, we could feel him shining down on us.  We know the world can use kindness each and every day though... maybe even a little more on an extra day.

At the end of this extra day, I plan to do something special for my family too (thinking cap on).  Because, in the end, we all wish for just a little more time with the ones we love.  Just one more day to say I love you.  I for one am pretty grateful at the thought of an "extra day" on the calendar with them this 2012.

What's on your schedule Wednesday?  Share your thoughts, ideas, and inspirations for how you plan to spend your extra day....

Also posted on Living Well Wednesday

A Life of Thanksgiving

Reflecting back on this month of thankfulness and acts of kindness today with a heart of gratitude.  Reading over each post from November (hey I managed to write every day!), I'm filled with a mixture of emotions.  Even though I was eager to start the project on the first day of November, I didn't know if I'd be able to keep it up the closer it drew to Austin's angel-versary.

All I can say is that through prayer (the many prayers of others) and a special helper above, I made it through the most difficult part of the year.  But I didn't just get through the days, I lived them with purpose, hope and even joy.  Of course there were tears, painful moments, and days lined in sorrow from the grief I still have, and always will face, but I expected it.  Pausing to be thankful or giving an act of kindness, even on those tough days, made the difference.

It's fairly obvious that an act of kindness would have that effect.  Giving feels good but it's more than that - kindness comes back to you.  Being kind is such a wonderful way to live, though not always easy.  One of the quotes I found while researching this month was from Mother Teresa and it expresses how I strive to live, though I often fail.

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile."

I believe what made such a change in my attitude this month though was to pause and be thankful every day.  Surviving the wreck and child loss has more than taught me to appreciate the little things, to stop and see the sunrise, to be grateful for every moment, but some days I allow "life" to take over, to rush me, to overwhelm.  Purposefully noticing, almost meditating over moments of thankfulness changes you.  I focused on what was important to me, who I treasured, and I prayerfully gave gratitude for each and everyvthing.

Thanksgiving isn't just a day - not even just a month -

but something I hope to encompass every day of the year. 

"Grace isn't a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal.
It's a way to live."

Today I'm thankful that my blessings fill more than 30 days in November.

No matter how difficult life is, there is always something to be thankful for.

JOY is everywhere, if you just look for it!

Purpose Driven Acts

Sitting down to write about the many touching and wonderful acts of kindness shared with us today, I realized, unlike most, these weren't random at all.  Sure, the people who received them might have been random (although not in all cases) but I believe that even the recipients were chosen - with a little help from above.  Austin's hands were all over this project from the moment it came upon me.

Since the first year the acts and those participating have grown.  This year even strangers joined in!  It's such an amazing feeling, in the midst of heartache, to see my son remembered in this way.  I know personally each act I gave this month was after a gentle nudge or whisper from within.  For the large majority, I'll have no way of knowing who they reached, how they helped or made a difference, but I feel like each of them were with purpose. 

And "with purpose" is exactly how Austin lived.  Though only 14 when he passed, he'd accomplished so much in his life.  Age was never a factor for him and more than anything he just wanted to make a difference.  He was never happier than when he was volunteering and helping others.  In fact, the few months he had here as a freshman was filled with afternoons at local organizations doing just that.  But aside from being a volunteer, he was just a good soul.  My idea and need to start "Acts of Kindness" in his memory came from who he was and how he treated others.  His "words of kindness" I shared two years ago, and "love letters" show a glimpse of who Austin was and the impact he made each and every day with simple acts.

Living the month of November, such a bleak and normally painful for time, with an attitude of gratefulness and opening myself up to see opportunities to help, has made me feel more connected to Austin than I could have ever imagined.  Hearing the stories from others who joined with me, lifted my spirits, comforted and held me on difficult days, and not only blessed our families but the recipients.  However, everyone who shared with me an act has told me they received tremendous blessings as well.  How great is that?!

"It is one of those beautiful compensations of this life that no one can

sincerely try to help another without helping himself."

Didn't find the time or moment to do an act of kindness?  The best thing about acts of kindness is that there is no expiration date...it's never too late to make a difference!  Maybe some of these "acts" shared with us will inspire you to pay it forward.  Or, maybe they'll just warm your heart - they truly did mine!

I helped someone load their groceries.

I paid for someone's purchase and met a new friend!

I made a meal and shared it with a widow.

I donated to Toys for Tots.

I went through the Drive-Thru and left money for the next few cars behind me.

I paid on someone's bill.

I tucked quarters in the jacket pockets at a department store for kids to find.

I bought a stranger's gas.

I surprised strangers with gift cards for their meals.

I thanked people who don't normally get thanked.

I bought supplies to make Thanksgiving baskets for families in need.

I prayed for the person in front of me whenever stopped in traffic.

I volunteered at a nursing home.

I tucked surprises into Christmas cards when sending this year.

I placed coins on game machines and kiddy rides.

My family would like to thank those for the many prayers, calls, texts,

messages and support shared with us on this painful day.

I've certainly felt held by the prayers and lifted by the

amazing stories of acts of kindness done in Austin's memory.

Thank you for your friendship...and for remembering our sweet boy in such a beautiful way!



Hidden Shopping Spree

Our shopping this weekend didn't include fighting crowds and hunting for deals, but instead involved hiding them.  We didn't stand in line, scour the ads, and struggle with strangers but rather snuck, searched, and whispered through the store. The kids chose to do "acts of kindness" by attaching money to gifts and tucking them secretly back on the shelves.  While we didn't stay to see the reactions, we hope children will grab items wanting them, as they often do, and be surprised.  It was one of the best shopping trips I can ever remember during such a normally chaotic holiday experience.

Sharing with the kids the "free drink" idea, they quickly asked if they could do the same and that started our Kindness "Reverse-Shopping" Spree.  Handing them change and a sheet of labels, we set off.  Soaking in the meaning of the labels, which said, "This random act of kindness was done in memory of Austin Blair (7/8/94 – 11/29/08).  Pay it forward." they were both silent for a moment and then touched to get to be a part of this project. 

Instantly, they began spurting off ideas of things we could do to make a difference in someone's day.  We soon ended up at a local store with a plan and two very excited kids.

Each of them had a few one dollar bills and began the search for toys in that amount so whatever child found it would be able to get it for free.  Sadly, in today's economy, there aren't a great deal of choices in this category but I think the kids did a wonderful job.

Noah found a firefighter coloring book, which reminded him of Austin and how much he loved the fire department.  Attaching the dollar to the back, I was glad I captured the sweet innocence with my phone.  He then located a container of play-do, something he still loves to play with even at his age. Tucking them both so that the dollars were hidden, Tina began her hunt.

She was able to find a toy firetruck as well.  It was the only truck in the mixture of rubber ducks.  Bringing the box toward the front and at a kid's eye level, she squeezed the truck in among the yellow birds.  I can only imagine how happy a little child will be when they spy it and their chubby little hand grabs it off the shelf. 

Tina then headed for the baby food aisle, saying how hard it might be for someone this time of year.  Hoping a single mom or struggling family might happen upon the food, she attached a dollar with a label, making it free.

Both kids said after each one, "Wow, this feels good," and "I wish I could see who gets it," or "I hope it goes to someone who really needs it."  They were both truly touched by the acts and honored to do something in Austin's memory. 

Noah, remembering he had a five dollar bill in his pocket, asked if we could make one last stop at the shoes.  He wanted to gift a free pair to a child who may need it.  Finding just the right pair, he hid the money inside with a smile.

On the way home, we made a few more secret stops the kids requested,        each one a hug to my heart. 

While we miss Austin every day, holidays are the hardest, especially this weekend with his angel-versary approaching.  However, I know Austin was with us every step of this shopping spree and so very proud of his little brother and cousin.  I could feel his sweet spirit surrounding us and am thankful for each treasured moment.  I hope Austin's spirit lives on and touches each family finding these hidden surprises. 

Just the act certainly blessed each of us.

Free Drinks

There was an urgency stirring within me this morning.  I felt a gentle push to complete some things I've had in planning for the acts of kindness we're doing in memory of Austin.  Tim and I have both been doing things secretly but I've not posted many of them because we truly wanted to remain anonymous.  I had more public ideas in mind though and needed to print things to share when we did them.

Today marks one week until his angel-versary.  It's not a date I look forward to, in fact my heart breaks a little more each year when the calendar turns and I realize it's been so long since I've seen my son.

If I let myself, I could easily shut down this time of year.  With every cheery holiday tune that comes across the radio, I face the reality of another season without Austin.  This year, next Tuesday, will be three years since he's passed.  Time doesn't heal this wound though, there are days I can be shocked right back to that horrific night and have to deal with those emotions all over again.  It's so very difficult, this journey of child loss, and I don't know that there's any right or wrong way to face it. Everyone grieves and heals differently.

The way I've chose to face it, most of the time, is to focus on the positive.  It's the way I know Austin would've wanted it.  Happiness is who he was.  That attitude is the inspiration behind this blog.  It's also the reason we started Acts of Kindness in memory of our son.  The first year it was private, last year I invited those who follow his blog and Facebook page.  This year, I've made it a month long challenge for myself and have encouraged other to join in, if even just for November 29th.  Today, for whatever reason, Austin told me people were thirsty.

The labels I created, so that perhaps someone finding them would be inspired to pay it forward, or read his blog to learn more about his life, came in useful today.  They were my glue for attaching quarters to random drink machines. 

Tim normally raids my change stash, as I throw coins from drive thrus or other locations in the door of the truck or the console, but I decided they had better use this time. 

Stopping whenever I saw a drink machine, I'd peel off a label, attach two quarters (or more if needed) and stick them above the money slot. 

I didn't stay long enough at any of them so I don't know people's reactions but I hope they lifted someone's spirits. Perhaps it was just the needed pick me up in another's day.  It's just a free drink but I have a feeling my boy is working through everything we do so I don't doubt that each and every one of them had a purpose.

Today I'm thankful for your sweet spirit encouraging me to do good.

I feel you pushing me and today through next week

will be filled with acts of kindness in your memory.

We love and miss you Austin!

Acts of Love

I apologize for the late hour and shortness of today's post.  Visitation began this afternoon for Papaw Dallas so it's been a long day.  I questioned even writing but, being it's only day 7, I couldn't break the challenge so soon.  This morning, my plan was to write about being thankful for music.  Being gone and on my feet all day though, I don't really have a song on my mind.  Despite the emotions of the day, I do however have a song in my heart. 

When I left for the funeral home today, I decided that any acts of kindness would be toward my family.  While my challenge is mostly focused on "random acts of kindness" and to those I do not know, I felt my family needed a few extra doses of love. I could also feel Austin pushing me, as if this was his way of showing us he is there.

One of the most common phrases when someone passes is, "if there's anything I can do..." but seldom does anyone ask.  I sent a text to my little sister, checking on her and asked that familiar question.  To my surprise, she responded.  I then made it my mission to deliver.

As it was early, food hadn't yet begun to arrive so I stocked up on snacks and drinks, planning for a hot bucket of chicken at the end of my errands.  Next on my list was my sister's request, a small stuffed cow.  She didn't even need to explain, I knew what she wanted it for, although I'd never guessed it would be so difficult to find.  Five stores and several phone calls later, the best I could do was a small ceramic cow.  Back home to quickly print a few more needs, I rushed back.

Timing was perfect, as the family had gathered in the kitchen, looking for lunch.  KFC was just what the doctor ordered, as Dallas' wife, Pansy, smiled, nodding that was exactly what sounded good for her to eat.  Knowing I got some hot potatoes in my lil sis, and a piece of chicken in Mom, made me feel better too.  Although it broke my heart to watch Raven tuck the tiny cow into her Papaw's arm, with tears in her eyes, I also knew that the scavenger hunt I went on to find it was worth every second and mile. 

Then, copies of a poem, which I shared with Altiabelle, Dallas' first wife, in the loss of her husband over a year ago, came back to help again.  When I printed out and framed a poem that was shared with us in our loss, never did I imagine it would have such an impact on her.  She'd mentioned several times through the past year how often she read the poem and how much it comforted her.  Today, she requested a copy to share with Pansy.  That, and copies of my "Cow Tales" story from yesterday, which brought some needed laughs in the day.

Piled in the back of my truck, I wouldn't have expected a chicken meal, peppermints and moonpies, drinks, a tiny cow, or printed poems to provide much help, on their own or altogether.  Yet they did, in little ways and big, and I'm so glad I had a special angel as a co-pilot to help me deliver it today.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Rainclouds and Cookies

Today was one of those rainy, dreary days that make you just want to stay in and pull the covers over your head.  But, I had to jump out of bed, put on my big girl drawers, and deal with the day.  On the ride, I found beauty again in the rain and I searched for the positives.  I was reminded of my thoughts last week... I love the fall colors in the rain, like a muted oil painting, still wet from the strokes of a paint brush.

My thankful quote for the day became, "Today, I am thankful for the rain... for it makes days of sunshine all the more special."  I was determined to find positives, despite the weather.  But, life sometimes has a way of smacking you upside the head when you face the day this way.  I came across some moody attitudes, tense atmospheres, and bad news about my truck, yet I kept pushing.

Before I learned the bad news of my old truck, I decided today's interaction at a local parts store would receive an "act of kindness" for the day.  At lunch, I dropped a part off that Tim's been searching for unsuccessfully.  (The poor guy has been working on my truck for weeks and has hit a roadblock.  Nobody has the part we need and most don't even take the time to say so.)  He'd talked to someone earlier this morning, at said parts store, and they felt certain they could find it.

I felt out of place even before I walked in.  Girls and auto parts (at least this girl) don't really mix.  Nervously, I put the part on the counter, awaiting the numerous questions I knew would hit me for which I did not have answers.  Much to my surprise, the men behind the counter were pleasant, uncondescending, and helpful.  Aside from the obvious answer of "we don't carry that" this place took it a step further.  Mike was on a mission.

I waited.  He called.  I waited some more.  He searched.  As the clock kept ticking, and I kept sneaking a peek at it, he asked if I'd like him to call me later.  Leaving my number behind I headed back to the office.  On my way back, is when I decided to bring them a surprise upon my return - regardless of the outcome.  They'd gone out of their way to provide excellent customer service to a stranger off the street.  This deserved thanks.

Much to my dismay, Mike called later with the bad news.  No part.  And if we did luck into one somehow, it'd be over $600.  Not a price I'm willing to pay for a 97-paid-for-and-I'm-driving-til-it's-dead vehicle.  He gave me some ideas, apologized, and hung up just as disappointed as I was.  Yep, that settled it.  This man (and business) were getting cookies.  No, they didn't solve my problem but they did deliver amazing service and made a future customer out of me.

Yet, bringing in cookies to a group of strange men was a bit out of my comfort zone.  I second-guessed myself on the way to bakery and before walking into the store.  Even with the box in my hand, I wondered how their reaction would be.  Would they laugh?  Think it was a dumb idea?  After all, I was just picking up a part that they couldn't find a replacement to.  But, I took a deep breath, and went for the plunge.  My sweet boy was pushing me after all, reminding me I was really doing this in his memory anyway.

Mike was gone but the other nice man handed me my part, again with a look of disappointment they couldn't deliver.  I eased the box of cookies across the counter.  Surprised he looked down and I explained, "This is to thank you, and Mike, for trying.  You've been the only business to really take the time to search and we appreciate it."  It was just cookies but I could tell it made his day.  All the other men stopped what they were doing to watch and listen, probably also wondering if he were going to share.

Blushing, he said, "Ma'am, it's our job.  Sorry we couldn't do more."  I thanked him again and said we'd remember them for future needs.  On the way out another man, beaming with pride said, "And that's why we've been around since 31' - we put customers first." 

So, if you need parts and appreciate excellent customer service, check out Gipe Automotive in Owensboro.  Ask for Mike.  No cookies necessary but they sure appreciate them!

Today I am thankful for...

It's November 1st, a month I normally dread (for obvious reasons), but I actually looked forward to today.  On my drive to work, I realized what month it was and found myself actually giddy in anticipation.  You see, today starts my month long "TRAK" project - or "Thankfulness + Random Acts of Kindness" I am doing in memory of Austin. 

If you didn't catch last week's post, explaining my reasons, you can read it here.  Extending what I did one week last year, to an entire month, I will focus on the many things I have to be thankful for every day.  As well, I am opening myself up to search for opportunities to do "random acts of kindness" - each act in memory of my sweet boy.  Simple, every day acts of kindness is what Austin is known and remembered for so I can't think of a better way to honor his legacy.

I won't post everything that is done, mostly because I want them to remain anonymous, but I promise to write about some.  What I will write about every day though is my thankful moment.  Today, I am thankful for my Mom.  Specifically, I am thankful for talks with her.  Nearly every morning, and sometimes in the evenings, I call my mom during my commute.  Most of the time, it's about nothing.  I just like talking with her and look forward to those drives.  We'll talk about our days, events, gossip, what frustrates or worries us, and everything in between.

My Mom is one of my best friends, certainly one of my best "girl friends" as I really don't have a lot of girlfriends outside my family.  She is someone I know is always there to talk, but mostly to listen.  There may be nothing at all she can do to help (whatever I'm going through at the time), but just knowing I can vent to her helps more than she knows.  And, when there's good new to share, she's among my first to call. 

Knowing what it's like to wish you could call and talk to someone you love, perhaps makes me realize how special our relationship is.  I'm so very thankful to have her in my life and treasure our time together.  Though her texts may be random, and she's sometimes hard to reach because she can't find or hear her phone, I sure am glad to know she's on the other end of the line when I need her most - and on just ordinary, average days - because she's my Mom.

Thankful Thursday

November is days away. Because it holds the anniversary of our son's death, it is a difficult month. Each day on the calendar, as well as the holiday, is a constant reminder of our loss. It's a bittersweet time, as we waiver between favorite memories with Austin, and the horror of those last moments. While a month that is full of sadness for us, it is also a time of Thanksgiving.

One of my favorite traditions from my Grandma Coons was to gather as a family on that holiday and share at least one thing for which we were thankful. Last year, focusing on "Thanksgiving" is how I chose to face each day. Knowing the day would be brimmed in tears, I needed to start my mornings reflecting on what I still had to be thankful for. No matter the heartache, there are still so many blessings in our lives.

Each morning, I began with an affirmation, a statement of what I was thankful for. It carried me through my day, reminding me of a positive during such a negative time. This year, I plan to take it a step further. For the month of November, my blog (and life) will be focused on "Thankfulness" and I'm challenging myself to write a post every day.

Since losing Austin, we've also started the tradition of "Random Acts of Kindness" on his angel-versary. You see, that's what Austin was all about. I have so many cards and letters from those who knew and loved him, sharing small and simple, but powerful, moments they remember and treasure him for. Austin's legacy will always be his warm smile, loving hugs, and helping hands. Because November 29th is such a tragic reminder for us, it is how we've chosen to get through it. Helping strangers has lifted our broken spirits.

Last year, I asked others to join in his memory and I plan to do the same closer to the date. So many messages of support and sharing their acts came through via email and on his Facebook page, Remembering Austin. Each time a wave of grief would overcome me, a message of hope would arrive and hold me. It was such a wonderful way to remember such a beautiful soul.

With each random act, it was as if Austin's spirit carried on and it blessed our family. Because of that, I've decided to dedicate this entire month to my precious boy and will be striving to perform random acts of kindness every single day. It's the only way I know to get through a seemingly impossible time. Each day, each thankful moment, every act of kindness, will be a tribute to Austin, the life he led, and the inspiration of hoping to be a fraction of who he was. I hope you'll join me...

"Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder.

Write them deep within your heart." - Proverbs 3:3

Random Acts of Kindness

I guess in some way I've been preparing for this post since I started this blog, and in doing so, preparing for this day.  Our first angel-versary for Austin was spent with family and we remembered him by spending the day playing board games.  The date fell on the weekend so it made it easy for all of us to be together.  This year, I knew from the beginning that it would fall on a Monday.  I requested a vacation day at the first of the year, knowing I would not be in the frame of mind to work; however, I knew most of our family, including Tim, wouldn't have that luxury.  Aside from wearing our shirts, I needed a way for all us to remember Austin together, while apart.  And that's when a little whisper nudged me with "acts of kindness."

What better way to remember our loving child, than to live by his example!  Austin will always be remembered for his giving spirit, having the heart of a volunteer, for lending a helping hand, and for giving amazing hugs to everyone he met.   Last night, I sent the challenge out to our family, as well as all of the supporters on Austin's memorial facebook page.  Today, to keep Austin's spirit alive, I asked everyone to do a random act of kindness. 

I suggested simple ideas such as....Smile at a stranger. Buy someone a cup of coffee. Volunteer. Make a donation to his scholarship fund, or your favorite charity. Buy lunch for the person behind you in line. Visit a friend. Send a card to a soldier. Adopt a family for Christmas. Hug somebody. Pay it forward.

Within minutes, and throughout the day today, I received so many messages and calls from loved ones letting me know they accepted the challenge.  And although I only ventured out a brief while today, I gave back too.  Whether it was letting someone in front of me at the checkout line, or the easy action of a smile, everything I did reminded me of Austin.  I proudly wore my bright green shirt for him and felt his presence everywhere. 

One of my final stops was to swing into McDonalds and buy a sweet tea.  I asked to pay for the lady behind me.  As she pulled up to the window, I could see her expression from my rear view mirror; she was both shocked and pleasantly surprised.  She questioned the boy at drive-thru and kept looking ahead to my truck, probably trying to figure out if she knew me.  I just smiled and drove on, hoping she'd pay the gift forward someday to a stranger, or someone in need.

I have no idea how many acts of kindness were given today in memory of Austin, or what a difference each of them may have made.  However, just the knowledge that those who love and remember Austin took the time to keep his spirit alive, has made what I expected to be a painful day a little easier to bear.  Many of the tears I've cried today have been in recalling sweet memories of our precious time with him, but they've also been in hearing stories of how he touched someone's life and continues to inspire and make this world a better place.

We will never forget you, Austin.  Your love continues to shine down on us. 

I will live my days to honor and keep your memory alive.