Day 23: Joy Tank

What a beautifully blessed day!

I'm bone tired and nearly slept through posting but am still over-joyed from how I spent my time today. It may have been a Saturday but I experienced CHURCH.  The day was packed with wisdom, worship and more joy than I could contain.

Why is it though when your soul is filled beyond capacity, your body becomes so spent?  Once home, I crashed in my comfy chair and, other than sharing the highlights with Tim over dinner, I've not moved.

But I'll take this kind of tired any day to share such an experience with the Lord.

A few months back a friend offered me a ticket to a nearby town to hear Lisa Harper speak. Having recently learned at her feet at Women of Joy and instantly falling in love with her down-to-earth, front porch teaching of Jesus, I was eager to hear more.

Yet as the day drew near, life tried to get in the way and Satan began attempts to sway and distract me from going.  There were many things I could've accomplished today but I'm so very glad God sent me to First Baptist Church in Greenville.

From the moment worship began, the notes and words began to wash over me, filling all the empty spaces we mommas let this world take.  And no matter how close you think you are with Jesus, every woman needs a refill on her joy tank now and then.  Today did just that for me.

This is only a small snippet of the music we were gifted in sharing.  I wish my cell phone battery would've let me record it all, including Lisa's teaching.
 P.S. (Don't miss the rest of my post, I promise it is below but the template is shooting it way down!)

My momma went with me and I was grateful to spend the day with her.  Not growing up going to church with her, I realize what a blessing it is to watch her faith growing now.

The theme of today's event was "Enough," reminding us that His grace covers it all.  To know that we are worthy in His eyes, not how we let the world label us.  Instead of r
emembering our value comes from being a child of the King, we as women so often listen to the messages others give us.

As Lisa shared, I prayed that simple message would soak into my momma's soul.  And to mine.  And every other women there.  Such an easy concept but we jumble it up and make it difficult.  If we faced each day with the attitude of knowing nothing we have done or will do will ever change His love for us, what an difference that might make.

Happy tears spilled out as I pulled into my driveway this afternoon.  The joy was so present it almost seemed tangible.  And I wondered what change it could bring to others if they saw that kind of joy always pouring out of us.

Thankful he replenished my tank today and praying yours gets a fill up soon too!

Mountains and Majesty

My feet and bones are sore, every muscle I own is grumpy, but my heart is full of JOY!

I'm home from a jam-packed weekend with 30 other ladies, who traveled to the Smoky Mountains for a Women of Joy conference.  This year was extra special because my Momma came along.

Oh, the laughs we shared!

The conference was a first for mom - and many of the other ladies, so I stood in prayer for them.  I remember my first WOJ and how anxious I was, even if it was with women I knew and respected from church.  Never really being a "slumber party" type gal or having a roommate, those kinds of situations still tend to make me nervous. 

But as God does, he sends us hugs at just the needed moments.  We had a lot of those on our trip!  The first big one was upon our arrival.  Unplanned, we pulled into the driveway of our sprawling home away from home at 2:30 on the dot (Austin's jersey number and how he often says hello).  You could hear the bubbling creek from the car so, of course, that was our first stop before even going inside.  What we found were dozens of beautiful yellow butterflies, a symbol Austin has always used to send us hugs.  Needless to say, I entered the house a little teary-eyed!

We went down a day before the conference so it gave us time to relax, disconnect from the busy-ness of the world, and reflect on God's beauty.  I always am filled with a peace unlike any other when I'm in the mountains.  For me, it just feels closer to Him - and not because of the altitude!  In our free time over the weekend, we enjoyed lots of yummy food (too much!), a scenic drive through Cades Cove (mom's first) and a souvenir jaunt down the strip.  We did not do any outlet shopping and I was thrilled that my carmates didn't mind one bit.

The rest of our time was spent with 10,000 other women praising God and soaking up His word.  Have you ever sung Amazing Grace with 10,000 other women?  Truly, Amazing!  I get goosebumps still, just thinking about it.  So many moments in worship I was brought to tears in the sheer beauty of it, the privilege it was to be there, and the connection I felt to my Savior.

We were blessed to hear from admired writers and speakers, like Angela Thomas, and funny-til-you-pee comedian, Chondra Pierce.  Every speaker had a nugget of information and whisper from God for each women at the conference, I believe.  There were several salvations through the course of the weekend from the crowd.  Though every head was bowed, there was a sense of connection in hearing those words, "welcome to the family" and cause for rejoicing.

I scribbled notes in the dark when I could, as their words resonated within me.  The bad part was that I didn't record the speaker who said it.  So, if you're inspired just google Women of Joy and check out all the amazing women who are a part of it!  :)

As Satan does, he attempted often to spoil our weekend.  Months ago, he set to attacking Mom in efforts to keep her even from going.  He distracted and hissed, throwing up inconveniences and roadblocks wherever possible.

Our final night, both Mom and I were feeling a little weary.  The long walks to the conference, followed by a wobbly path on the strip, hustling to a concert (to catch the last two songs!), and lack of sleep saw us both in great physical pain.  So much so that going up two flights of steps for our prayer gathering felt daunting.  Though Mom would've done it, I could see in her eyes she really couldn't afford it.  My twenty-year younger body was screaming in protest so I could only imagine hers.  But I missed hearing the testimonies of our group.

As he so often does, Satan set to circling around me, trying to fill my heart with anger toward having so much pain.  Some of our physical issues are hereditary, though the majority of mine come from a motorcycle wreck ten years ago.  The devil loves to make me wonder why my God would put me through such daily pain and keep me from being able to move and do as I would like.

And I'm sure he would've wanted nothing more than to send us both to bed unhappy and second-guessing our attendance.  But I've learned that a sure-fire way to send him packing is by pulling out my Bible and standing in prayer.

So even though I couldn't join the group physically, I was there in spirit.  Voices above me became background music for my Bible reading.  And in their quiet moments, I would pray for whoever was sharing or might be in need.  In the end, our sweet friend who rode home with us shared some of the stories from the night.

Those testimonies were much needed fillers for the nearly 9 hour drive we would endure on our way back.  It should've taken half that time, but I guess when you have 10,000 people leaving one place, there's bound to be a traffic jam!

At several points along our ride, we were astounded at the hatefulness of others on the road.  Trucks tailgating and honking in areas we couldn't go faster if we wanted.  Fingers and curse words tossed our way.  But we didn't let it steal our joy.  Momma would throw on her bright red clown nose for a laugh.  At just the needed moment a fellow WOJer would let us weave.  And God kept sending us signs and hugs.

Now, I can't even recall most of them but, in one extra tense situation, He sent message after message, using billboards, bumper stickers and even an exit sign for "Trinity Lane" to remind us who was in control.

Dropping my passengers off to their loved ones, I returned home to mine.  Both of my guys had spent time straightening up the house and doing laundry and had a hot dinner ready for me, complete with warm from the oven brownies.  It allowed me to relax and soak up their company, sharing the highlights from the weekend.  My JOY was complete.

Faithful Friday: Jesus Water

Angela Thomas was our final speaker of the Women of Joy conference.  It was exciting to see an author in person, who wrote the book of our current women's Brave study.  This tiny woman has a fill the room type of presence and the love of God just spills out of her.  She did not disappoint.

In fact, her words resonated with me probably more than any other speaker over the weekend.  My notes were a testament to that, as they spanned multiple pages.  And yet, what she shared was so simple, it's something we should've known all along.

"The cup of your soul is where you long for eternity," she shared.  My soul echoed in agreement with her.

Angela demonstrated with an empty glass.  She described how each of us take those cups and search for someone or something to fill it.  We're disappointed when our spouse can't.  We're frustrated when our children can't.  We're let down when the "things" of this world can't.  But nothing of this world can ever fill that spot.  Our cups can only be filled with the living water of Jesus.

And with such visual beauty, she began to pour clear, life sustaining, refreshing water into the cup.  Our "Jesus Water" as she referenced, was the only source of our true happiness, comfort and support.  And that the more we drank from this water, the more of Him would spill out into every crack and crevice of our life. 

Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” -John 4:13-14

We only have to surrender to Him fully to receive it.  To put our lives into his hand, like a sponge, and draw from His never-ending well.  And yet, trust, or rather lack of it, often prevents us from doing so.

When life doesn't go as we had envisioned or planned, we question if He has our best interest at heart.  We doubt and sometimes think we can do it better.  We try to jump ahead and fix things.  It's the typical woman -and mother instinct- for most of us.

But God whispered something to me while Angela poured water on the stage.

He flashed memories of me pre-pregnancy, pregnant, and then the joy-filled moments when I held those baby boys in my arms.  All of us parents, before being a parent, loved the idea of a child.  We dreamed about what we might name them, happy outings we would have, and who they might grow up to be.  Those dreams grew each month, along with our bellies, and we ached with anticipation.  Our love grew too, for someone we hadn't even seen.

Yet nothing prepares us for the overflowing love that fills the room the moment that sweet baby is placed in our arms.  When our eyes connect for the first time and their little hearts beat outside of us.  How could there be so much love for someone you've only just met?!  Unexplainable - no words - kind of love.

That's the kind of love God has for us from the very beginning.  Before we even were...he loved us.  He sent his son to die for us knowing what we would be...someday.  Who we would be.  The ultimate parent, he fully knew and loved us pre-creation to eternity because he is all-knowing and all-seeing.  That's an unexplainable - no words - kind of love.

And just as our babies fully surrender to us for love, comfort, wisdom, and guidance, so will our Father be there for us.  Something about that picture makes me want to run, childlike with arms wide open, into the arms of Jesus, ready for him to fill my cup.

Therefore with joy shall you draw water out of the wells of salvation. - Isaiah 12:3

Women of Joy - part 2

Lisa Whelchel was another speaker on last Saturday morning I was excited to hear. I grew up watching her as Blair, on The Facts of Life.  I rooted for her most recently on Survivor and admired her example of faith on the show.

During her testimony she shared how she found God at an early age. Like myself, she sometimes wished she had some amazing salvation story.  No dramatic turn of events, no bells and whistles, no happy ending redemption.

Sadly the mistakes I've made in life were all post-Christian. But as Lisa shared, thanks to God's amazing grace, he still loves me. He still uses me for his glory.

Something hit me during her talk and I scrambled to write it in the dark...

I found God early because of what was ahead in my life.
I needed HIM for the testimony that was to come!

My testimony isn't how I found Jesus but what he's done in my life. Most of all - HOW he's been in my life. And despite the pain and sorrow I've faced, my testimony is that He has always been there with me.  I couldn't have survived the "life" I've lived, were it not because I've been held through it.

Jesus knew "in this life you will face many troubles" and, through His providence, came to me at early age for the foundation of faith I'd need.

Wow.

I'd never really thought about that before.  That, even though the testimony I share is post-tragedy, He was working within and in the background of my life from the start.  All those years growing up in my Grandpa's church, learning the stories, seeing faith in action, would be tucked away for future use. 

Isn't it amazing when He gives us a glimpse into his wisdom? His divine plan for us?  Even if it's past tense, to look back and see His mighty hand guiding and preparing me all along, is a powerful picture. 

It's one I'm joyfully glad was revealed to me from a dark seat in a large auditorium at Women of Joy.

Miss Liz

I've decided maybe the best way to proceed with my posts this week about Women of Joy is to go straight to the source of my inspiration.

 

Saturday morning, I had the pleasure of hearing Liz Curtis Higgs, an author I was familiar with but had never really followed.  She hooked me instantly.

 

With a quirky, hip, yet grandmotherly charm, I was wrapped into the weaving of her words.  A fellow Kentuckian, sinner now saved, with unexpected spunk, she had me loving her from the start.

 

What truly captivated me was the ease at which she translated the Bible.  Liz would take only 2-3 words and explain them in a way I'd never heard or thought of and it changed the scripture's meaning entirely.  Or rather, I understood it on a deeper level than before.  How I could sit at her feet and listen to her teach for hours.  Liz, let's just start at Genesis and go all the way through, please!? 

 

The sweet surprise of her presentation was that she started rapping the book of Ruth at the end.  Not just rhyming the message, but full on rap with sound effects and all!  Too.  Cute.  I found myself chuckling, remembering all those years ago in youth, when my aunt Becky asked me rap the Sunday School lessons whenever I came to church.  Yes, I even threw in some beatboxing too!

 

I loved how she shared the story of Naomi and described her as the female Job of the Bible.  Her explanation of how the Lord was, "loving her all the while he leads her through the shadows" spoke to me. 

 

I know that God.

I've been in those shadows, the depths of grief.  Some days I find myself still there.  But I know, even when anger absorbed me and I tried to push Him away, the Lord was always by my side.  And he loved me through it.

As she shared Ruth 1:16, I was taken back to my wedding day.  Tim and I spoke those same words.  Hearing them from Ruth to her mother-in-law, and what a true example of love and devotion that was, re-emphasized their meaning.  It is the ultimate family creed.

 

 

And, it is absolute surrender. 

Much of that scripture can be mirrored to how we should follow Christ.

 “Entreat me not to leave you,

 Or to turn back from following after you;

For wherever you go, I will go;

 And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;

 Your people shall be my people,

 And your God, my God."

Wherever He leads.....I'll go

I surrender all,

I surrender all;

All to Thee, my blessed Savior,

I surrender all.

I surrender all...

It's been a weekend of surrender.

Honestly, surrender began at even signing up a few months back to come to Women of Joy.  I wanted to go last year. I mean, how could a joy seeker, a joy sharer like me, NOT want to go? But something held me back. I didn't really know these women. I'd only joined the church a short time and being with "strangers" a whole weekend was way out of my comfort zone.  Being an onion and a bit of a loner, it takes me awhile to warm up to someone I don't know well.  Even though I call many of these women friends now, it was still outside my comfort zone a year later.

But God whispered, "Go..."

So it was in complete surrender when I signed up in February.  I paid the registration quickly as I could, so I didn't stress or analyze the details of the unknown.

When you let go and let God, amazing things happen. 

There's so much to share about this past weekend of JOY.  My messy notes, scribbled in the dark, will be inspiration for this week's posts.  I'm pacing myself on purpose because, to do it justice, it has to be more than just one writing.

For now, I'll share a picture of the group of ladies I was blessed to share the weekend with.  Some were old friends, some fairly recent, and some were brand new faces I'm glad to now know.


at the Spaghetti Factory...when we weren't at JOY, we were eating!  :)

 You can imagine in a group this big there's stories to share.  Oh, the laughs we had! 
But of course, what happens in Louisville stays in Louisville, so for the most part that fun will have to stay tucked away in the secret vault.  After that kind of tease though, I will end laughing at myself. 
And letting you join me.

Part of being an onion meant I didn't do a lot of sleepovers.  I had one best friend and spent 1/2 my life at her house but never really went to others.  I wasn't a typical college student and didn't do the dorm life, so I've never had a roommate.  Other than having to room with co-workers on work retreats, that world is unfamiliar and scary to me.  It was the part of the trip I was most apprehensive about.

To save money, we were all sharing beds, not just rooms.  The original plan was to have four in a room, two to a bed.  I picked my bed mate early, the kindness of an offer from a relatively new but close friend at church.  Debbie has become so much more than a friend to me - a mentor, a spiritual coach... (I could write a post or two just about her friendship).  Anyway, it did somewhat relieve my anxiety that she'd be the one I'd bunk with. 

Due to a hotel mistake, we ended up two a room, one small bed.  Anxiety returned. 
(surrender, surrender, I told myself!)

It was L.A.T.E. when we finally went to bed our first night, after a midnight feeding at the Cheesecake Factory and lots of walking at JOY conference.  My legs were beyond exhausted and I felt like I was riding a bicycle with their restlessness.  Of course, I tried to softly move them, so as not to disturb my sleeping pal.  In the wee hours of the morning, all hope was lost.

Being shocked awake by massive leg cramps, I tried to jump out of the bed and stand, the only relief I knew to seek.  Debbie, being the sweet pal she is, is startled from sleep thinking I'm having nightmares.  She grabs hold of me (a somewhat funny sight when you picture her size compared to mine) and in a David vs Goliath attempt, pulls me back shouting, "It's ok, you're just having a bad dream!" 

At the same time, and unable to speak because of the pain, I'm pulling away from her, struggling with the mounds of covers, trying to get out of the bed and stand on two legs.  For probably seconds, but what felt an eternity, we did this humorous tug-o-war.  Eventually I won and stood in the small room, trying to walk enough to work it out.  Still mute from the pain, she's not giving up trying to wake me, continuing her shouts of compassion to bring me from the nightmare.

After a few stretches and old man roll-on medicine, I was able to communicate to her what happened.  Still groggy, it dawns on Debbie what just occurred and we both collapse into laughter.  For the next thirty minutes -or more!- we enjoyed belly busting, side splitting laughs.  I was actually afraid someone would call the front desk and complain. 

Though an awkward icebreaker, it was kind of hard to have any nervousness after that.  It certainly gave us both something to laugh about the entire weekend!  And it helped me at least to physically surrender to the experience!

More JOY to come this week, friends...

Faithful Friday: Joyful, Joyful

By the time you read this, I'll be on my way to the Women of Joy conference in Louisville, KY.  My first.  And I'm so excited!!

3 days in Louisville with a group of women from church I respect, admire and appreciate their friendship. 

2 nights, including a Jeremy Camp concert and cheesecake! 

And 1 purpose - JOY! 

The conference is designed to spiritually teach, challenge, and uplift us as we joyfully praise our God.

My lips will shout for JOY, when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you have redeemed. Psalm 71:23 ESV

While there, I'll have the honor of hearing such speakers as Lisa Whelchel (Blair from Facts of Life) and Angela Thomas, author of Brave, the women's study I've been doing at EHBC.  I'm giddy with anticipation, much like a child on Christmas morn.

We'll see how my mobile posting skills are and if I can get it together to share some inspiration with you in the moment.  If I fail, there's always the promise of a post-post. 

Very blessed to have a family that supports me leaving for the last half of spring break to fill my joy tank!
More to come soon, friends...