Monday, August 14, 2017

Senior Sentiments

I almost lost it in the underwear aisle.

Back to school shopping with my son, it hit me this was more than likely our last outing for such a thing.  Part of me tearing up and the other wanting to laugh at how sentimental one can become about buying boxers with their kid, er -nearly grown man.

I'm facing this season with the heavy weighted knowledge that it is our final year as mom and child.

My baby is entering his senior year.  Towering over us, his large frame makes most think he's already graduated college.  At 17, there are ways he's still very much a boy though.  The Nerf attacks he and his friend has through my house when together is proof.  But in many ways, he is changing into a responsible adult.

This teetering on adulthood has my momma-heart bursting with emotions.

His last "first day of school" found me sobbing, after he pulled out of the driveway.  My husband shook his head, not understanding my reason for tears.

But a mom is forever connected to her child.  Growing inside inside my belly for nearly a year, our hearts beat in sync.  And with each step further into becoming an adult, I feel that tether being stretched.

Nobody really warns you of this stage of parenting.

Sure, you hear, "they grow so fast."  And, as you're buying shoes and pants mid-school year, because he's already outgrown them, this knowledge is easy to understand.  Yet, I wasn't prepared for how quickly the years would pass by.  It seems as if I have blinked to find my little boy standing before me as a man.

This weekend, he asked if we could go out.  As the waitress brought our tickets, he quickly grabbed them. And again, as we pulled into the drive-in, he handed his cash to pay.  I was tickled enough he chose to spend a free Saturday with his parents, much less offer to cover the cost.

By the first of the year, he'll be officially an adult.  Next summer, a college student.  With such milestones hovering, it is difficult to not feel like a giant clock is counting down the days you have left with them.

I'm trying to embrace the days instead.  To not dwell on the lasts but to soak up the moments.  To let my heart record more than my phone does so I am fully present.  To linger in the laughter and simple joys.  To lift up thanks for the blessing it is to be called "momma" and to hear it spoken from his stubbled lips but still baby face.

Monday, August 7, 2017

Checkin' off Boxes

I'm a planner-organized-check the box kinda gal.  Forms on the first day of school make me smile.  A neatly stacked cabinet or freshly straightened area is happiness.  Tackling to-do lists is my jam.

(Now, please don't think if you stop by my house you'll see perfection.  While I love a clean home, housework is not on my list of faves to do!  Life is too short to scrub toilets and floors every day!)

This past weekend however, we were super productive.  Saturday was packed with accomplishments, for both Tim and me, and with each checking off I felt a sense of contentedness.

With the summer we've had, wish lists and need-to-dos have piled up more than I care to admit.  Whenever I've tried to plan something, life has had a way of turning things upside down.  But, thanks to a healthy dose of energy, we knocked out much of my internal list.  Because school starts in days, this has me breathing a little easier.

I'm not sure why organizing and back to school go to together but they just do.  Last night, Noah and I cleaned out last year's battered backpack and kept what we thought was reusable.  I've definitely passed down my OCD to him, as although the exterior of his bag was well-worn, the inside was immaculate and everything had a spot.  How he's grown from the early days of finding soggy banana peels on top of permission slips shoved deep into the scary bottom of the backpack!

Before he'd made it home, I surprised him by finishing his laundry and organizing the closet.  Dirty clothes is a chore I gladly assigned to him when he hit puberty.  Stinky socks, no matter how much you love them, are not fun to touch.  Plus, I know this is a life skill he will need when he moves away to college, or marries a girl who thanks me for teaching him.  Luckily, everything had been washed, just not put away.  The back-to-school shopping bags from weeks ago were still stacked, waiting to be put on hangers.  So, I helped him out.  In doing so, I quickly discovered this boy has such a collection of T-shirts, he could literally wear a different shirt through the first nine weeks - and then some!

As soon as he entered his room, he made a U-turn and gave me a giant bear hug in gratitude.  That was so worth the hours spent tackling the task.

Tim spent Saturday repairing our deck.  Ten years of sun and weather had worn it down to the point that one of our steps was nearly broken.  It's a blessing that he noticed it before someone's foot found the damage.  He's become quite the handyman the past few years.  Hearing the saw and hammer and watching him work quickly filled my eyes with tears.  When you've seen them down in sickness, normal feels amazing.  I lifted a prayer in thanks for the healing he's had over the summer.  My guy is a doer so I know he felt the same relief and praise for a day's hard work.

Lots accomplished, yet I still went to bed with dishes in the sink.  Guess it gave the ants something to do...I'm a sharer like that!
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