Supportive Spouse

I've never doubted that God brought Tim into my life for a purpose.  Much like our feet connect in just the right spot while sleeping, we fit together.  Where I lack a skill, he possesses it and where he needs strength in an area, I have it.  We are a puzzle of two pieces.

Yet, just because I know he has gifts that I may not, it doesn't excuse me from wanting to do and be better.  Very often, his strength in an area helps me see where I need to up my game.  Or rather, it helps convict me of something I should work to improve.

Previous posts have shared his selflessness.  It's perhaps one of my favorite and most admired traits of Tim.  Recently, in dealing with the news of my tick disease diagnosis, I've realized how little he complains.  Or maybe how much I do.

Sometimes I don't think of it as a complaint, just conversation.  But it dawned on me the other day, as he caught the brunt of my venting, he rarely does this with me. 

Now, I can tell by a quick glance how he's feeling, even if he doesn't share.  For the past week, he's had a kink in his neck but has not muttered one negative word about it.  Catching him readjust or grimacing silently, without asking, I'll begin applying oils to help ease his pain.  And if I feel something is emotionally bothering him, I'll bug him enough that he'll either share or get aggravated by the multiple questions.

I, on the other hand, give a detailed listing of anything bothering me at any given moment.  At least to Tim.  He really never has to guess about how I'm feeling -unless he's made me mad and I am giving him the silent treatment!

Saturday he planned a date night, sensing I needed some pampering from my stressful week.  It wasn't anything elaborate but quality time always fills my love tank.  After an evening of seafood and shoe shopping, I was one joyful girl. 

And though I may not always show it or thank him for the many ways he shows me he cares, I do count my blessings daily for God giving me this man.

When I come home to an empty sink or laundry basket.  As a text comes through with a sweet note from him, just because.  When he comes up behind me with a hug and a kiss.  Because he stops on the side of the road to pick my favorite flower.  When he listens to my grumbling without saying a word or even a sigh.  On the weekends, as he fixes my coffee first.  Every time he rubs my feet, willingly and lovingly.  As I go to bed to find it neatly made before he left for work. 

And a dozen other simple ways he says "I love you" every single day.  I am truly grateful to have him in my life!

Checkin' off Boxes

I'm a planner-organized-check the box kinda gal.  Forms on the first day of school make me smile.  A neatly stacked cabinet or freshly straightened area is happiness.  Tackling to-do lists is my jam.

(Now, please don't think if you stop by my house you'll see perfection.  While I love a clean home, housework is not on my list of faves to do!  Life is too short to scrub toilets and floors every day!)

This past weekend however, we were super productive.  Saturday was packed with accomplishments, for both Tim and me, and with each checking off I felt a sense of contentedness.

With the summer we've had, wish lists and need-to-dos have piled up more than I care to admit.  Whenever I've tried to plan something, life has had a way of turning things upside down.  But, thanks to a healthy dose of energy, we knocked out much of my internal list.  Because school starts in days, this has me breathing a little easier.

I'm not sure why organizing and back to school go to together but they just do.  Last night, Noah and I cleaned out last year's battered backpack and kept what we thought was reusable.  I've definitely passed down my OCD to him, as although the exterior of his bag was well-worn, the inside was immaculate and everything had a spot.  How he's grown from the early days of finding soggy banana peels on top of permission slips shoved deep into the scary bottom of the backpack!

Before he'd made it home, I surprised him by finishing his laundry and organizing the closet.  Dirty clothes is a chore I gladly assigned to him when he hit puberty.  Stinky socks, no matter how much you love them, are not fun to touch.  Plus, I know this is a life skill he will need when he moves away to college, or marries a girl who thanks me for teaching him.  Luckily, everything had been washed, just not put away.  The back-to-school shopping bags from weeks ago were still stacked, waiting to be put on hangers.  So, I helped him out.  In doing so, I quickly discovered this boy has such a collection of T-shirts, he could literally wear a different shirt through the first nine weeks - and then some!

As soon as he entered his room, he made a U-turn and gave me a giant bear hug in gratitude.  That was so worth the hours spent tackling the task.

Tim spent Saturday repairing our deck.  Ten years of sun and weather had worn it down to the point that one of our steps was nearly broken.  It's a blessing that he noticed it before someone's foot found the damage.  He's become quite the handyman the past few years.  Hearing the saw and hammer and watching him work quickly filled my eyes with tears.  When you've seen them down in sickness, normal feels amazing.  I lifted a prayer in thanks for the healing he's had over the summer.  My guy is a doer so I know he felt the same relief and praise for a day's hard work.

Lots accomplished, yet I still went to bed with dishes in the sink.  Guess it gave the ants something to do...I'm a sharer like that!

Winter Woes

Well, it is only a few days into the new year and I've already failed miserably on my "one word" of being selfless.  Not to excuse it but we've been hit with some winter weather and this 40-something body is feeling it.

It is SNOW fun to get older.

My body is like a weather radar, beeping in protest before the first snowflake.  I've joked with my husband he needs to suddenly inherit a beach house and the income to "winter" in Florida.  I'm only a fan of cold weather when I'm able to recline by the warm fire and color, sipping hot cocoa, safe and snug.

The past few evenings, I've come home so tired and sore from being out in the cold I haven't been able to serve anyone.  In fact, my first day back to work, I barely made it through the process of peeling layers, donning PJ's and collapsing into my chair.

When Tim awoke to get ready for his night shift, instead of finding me cooking, he caught me snoozing by the fire.  Being the sweetheart he is, he went to the kitchen and whipped up a simple supper.  As he served me, I felt pretty guilty and a failure in my quest to be less selfish.

On Fridays, I often have the day off but with the holidays I needed to go in for a few hours.  Not having to work a full shift though allowed me to sleep in.  My phone forgot however and woke me normal time.  Now, a selfless gal would've taken that opportunity to get up and surprise her hubby with a hot breakfast.  Instead I remained in the comforts of my flannel sheets and awoke later to our excited dog, a sure sign Dad was home.

As I creaked out of bed, I found him making coffee and sweeping off the steps so I wouldn't slip on my way out.  He'd even brought home new gloves, overhearing that I'd lost my others.

Perhaps this short reprieve from my resolution is to show me what it feels like to be served, so I'll be better equipped and eager to help others.  Maybe I can chalk it up as early birthday goodness, as I will be celebrating another year on Sunday.  Or, by chance, it is a lesson in humility that we can't improve ourselves overnight.  And that, just maybe, I need to stop relying so much on my self and more on God to get there.

Trudging on....some days, uphill in the snow.

Selfless Spouse

Sometimes I'm filled with such love for my husband, I wonder if my heart has room to contain it all.  He amazes me every single day.  And in writing this, as my thoughts jump and decide where to begin, I wonder can it even be fully expressed?

There's nothing spectacular to tell you.  No one act of superhuman greatness.  Not one story of miraculous nature.  Yet, I'm continually in awe of his selflessness, his patience, his character and his genuine love for others.

I am so very blessed to be his wife.

At the current moment, I'm listening to the calm instruction, as he shows our son how to work on the water lines.  Though our dishwasher isn't even a year old, a bit of maintenance is required today.  And instead of whipping through the issue first thing this morning, he waited to work on it with our boy.

Waited, also because he's spent his entire morning helping others.  Transporting Tina where she needed to be, picking up supplies for me, helping a co-worker's friend carry furniture, stopping at the pharmacy (on his day off) to lend a hand, and returning to the store, upon realizing the cashier gave him too much change.  Such is a typical day for my hubby.

"Right tight, left loose," he says softly from under the sink, reminding Noah not to cross-thread it as he connects a line.  Then he follows with, "And now, what would you do next?"

Tim never makes excuses for why he can't help someone.  It isn't in his nature to figure out how to get out of doing so.  Instead, he seems to search for opportunities to help others.  And he never rushes or makes them feel like he'd rather be doing something else.

"Anything worth doing is worth doing right."

He doesn't ask or even expect acknowledgement.  In fact, I would bet the thought never crosses his mind.  My husband is not one for titles and trophies.  Even his "side business," or rather hobby as I call it, he does not to make money but to help others.  Because he's not a slick businessman, but rather a selfless Jesus-man, focused not of getting ahead in this world but rather awaiting his rewards in another.

"Slow and steady always wins the race."

And I couldn't be more grateful to God that I get to share my life with him, or to have him guide and direct our kids.

Helpful Hubby

My husband would never be described as lazy.  In fact, he's just the opposite; he's the hardest working man I know.  Tim isn't one to sit still long.  Even when he does lounge and watch tv for a bit, he sits on the edge of the bed, as if ready to run should anyone need him; and he never stays on a channel long enough to get too involved.  (This part drives me crazy, which is why he has his tv and I have mine!) 

Tim's never had a desk job and I honestly don't know that he could handle it.  He prefers manual labor, something he can do with his hands and that allows him to stay busy.  His current job involves all of that, plus working direct with patients and lots of driving but never lengthy windshield time.  And even though he'll be on his feet, mostly concrete for 8-10 hours a day at work, he never hesitates to pitch in around the house once he's home. 

I know I'm blessed to have him as a husband, for many reasons, but in hearing other women talk, specifically when it comes to what he does around the house.  From the beginning of our marriage, he's never hesitated in helping with household chores.  Other than cooking, which he'll do but doesn't enjoy, he doesn't even complain about things like laundry, taking out the trash, or even helping me shop for groceries. 

He's happiest though when he has a project to do, whether it is yard work, roofing the house, or staining the deck.  He seems to always have a project or two he's working on, whether at our house or the fire station, or both.  This weekend, he decided the yard - specifically the landscaping the surrounds our home, would be his project of choice.

We were fortunate to have mature landscaped bushes along the front of our house when we bought it.  They've been low maintenance and haven't required much attention the past ten years we've lived here.  A few weeks ago, I mentioned they needed a little TLC as they were displaying some wild sprouts.  (This is normally something I'd tackle myself but, since I've been in physical therapy for my arm the past two months, decided doing so wouldn't please my therapist.)  When I arrived home a few nights ago, I was thankful to see them tamed...until I noticed a gaping hole under Noah's window.  Turns out the wildness on two bushes was a mixture of morning glories and weeds.  Once Tim trimmed and pulled them out, the bushes underneath were found dead. 

Since we had to go to garden store anyway, I opted to buy a few plants for the neglected side flower bed and back flower bed while we were at it.  Now, for most men, they'd probably moan at this point, knowing the amount of work that it would require.  Instead, my husband smiled and said, "great - I'll have a project for the weekend!"  And that's just what he's done.  He spent most of Saturday afternoon and all day today in the sweltering heat transforming our yard. 

The most he's let me do is point where I wanted them planted and deliver cold lemonade.  I did dig my fingers in the window boxes to plant some flowers, so I guess I can say I got my hands dirty, but nothing in comparison to what he's accomplished this weekend.  Even though it's something he enjoys, I certainly appreciate having such a helpful husband.  And each year as these plants grow and bloom, I'll be reminded of his love and dedication to our family and our home.