Hug Somebody

We are huggers in my family. Always have been. Hugging is always the last thing we do when leaving each other after a visit.

 Not being able to hug (and visit) family regularly has been one of the hardest transitions of the stay-at-home order.  The last porch visit with my grandmaw seemed so foreign at the end when I got up to leave and felt all the space between us.

Both of my sons are known for their wonderful hugs. Their large frames and long arms wrap you like a warm blanket. They bring you in and you melt into their embrace. Neither were ever shy about giving hugs.  Probably because from the time they could walk that was taught instructions upon leaving family.

Austin was so known for his hugs it was part of his funeral service. And the pastor's last phrase was to go out and "hug somebody" for him.

Noah never outgrew giving hugs, even though his height surpassed me years ago. Even now, he still wants a hug before we leave or go to bed. That's something that I'm blessed to have, especially during this isolation.

 I have his and my husband's daily hug and kiss. My grandson's koala bear snuggles. But I feel for those who have been secluded for so many months without an embrace from someone they love.

 Having a background in childhood development, I know the value and importance of hugging your children daily. There is an immediate oxytocin boost upon a physical embrace. It changes their brain and improves the immune system. 

A hug literally creates happiness.

There's many more scientific reasons why a hug is beneficial to your health, both physically and mentally. And it seems ironic that during such a stressful time and the world the one simple thing we could do is forbidden and considered dangerous.

 While physical touch is not allowed for now there are so many other ways we could hug someone. Perhaps it is a phone call or a letter in the mail. A basket of supplies left on a doorstep. Ignoring a post and not leaving a hurtful opinion. Choosing to see the good in people. Spreading joy, not pain.  

Go out and "hug" somebody today. 

Joy is possible

Over a decade ago, I started this blog in the hope of finding joy again. Feeling anything good because darkness surrounded me.

Losing my oldest son so unexpectedly ripped away any sign of joy in my life for a time.

Instead, I lived in a constant state of fear and grief.  Fear for my surviving son, as an unknown virus took his brother without warning. And grief, I learned quickly,  comes in all stages at once and backwards, not a perfect timeline as the list might indicate.

I yearned for normalcy. For the life we knew and loved. Even the hard days and the simple things we took for granted.

Instead, I was locked into a rollercoaster nightmare beyond my control. I couldn't sleep but when I did flashes of that night took over me. I lived my days on auto pilot but was very much in a state of shock.

The world is in a state of shock right now. Life as we all know it has been turned upside down. In the midst of a pandemic most of us are also dealing with everyday trials. And in addition to that the added stress and load that comes with unexpected change.

 Trouble didn't stop because of covid-19; in fact, it just inflated it.

If you were already dealing with marital issues, sickness, financial instability, or any number of things the pandemic has likely only increased it. And new stressors no one could have ever imagined like school and home offices existing in the same tiny spaces, or the sudden loss of multiple incomes in a family unit, or struggling  with food and personal care shortages.

Joy in the midst of all of this could seem almost laughable to some. Unfathomable to many.  Impossible to most.

But it is possible. What I learned in my grief journey is that joy is a choice. It is making the effort everyday to find even one glimmer of hope in the midst of darkness. It is opening yourself up the possibilities you never knew before. To learn that joy and sadness can coexist.  It doesn't happen overnight and some days are more of a struggle than others. But Joy can become a habit. It can become so common that you no longer have to search for it, it finds you.

 In an effort to bring a bit of good news and a source of hope in a world that is drowning I am going to start writing here again to share simple joys I find in every day. My prayer is that it helps you in some small way.

 I'm not sure how often I'll share but I will make an effort to do so regularly.  If it isn't enough for you feel free to browse the over a decade of material on the side bar.
Life is certainly different than when I wrote  before.  Currently I'm dictating this post from my phone so forgive the many errors.

Joyfully yours...