Who am I?

Society puts so much focus on image and identity.
From the time we start school we're asked,

 "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

It doesn't change after we grow, as in conversation it is often one of the first questions to be shared.

"Where do you work?"  or...

"What do you do?"

By these answers we get a sense of who a person is, when in truth, what we do isn't at all who we are.

I've thought a lot about this the past year.  My husband and I have both had our "identities" pulled out from under us.  For both of us, we'd invested our entire adult lives in a focused area.  For me it was my career.  For my husband, his hobby -for lack of a better description, but I'd say more it was his passion.

He learned yesterday morning that after 30 years of devotion to the fire service his time as Chief would be ending.  Politics don't play well with joy so I won't include all the nasty details.  Short and sweet, he was pretty much booted out with no just cause from a volunteer position.

Its hard to wrap my head around why this happened or what my husband will do not being a firefighter but I know that through every trial there are lessons to be learned and good to come.  God has a plan in this, I have no doubt.

Since the news, God's already revealed a pretty giant lesson, or maybe a gentle reminder of what I already knew to be true.

Our identities shouldn't come from this world.
What we do is not who we are but rather He who dwells in us is what defines us.

When someone looks at me (or my husband), I want them to see God first.  If we have any title in this life, I want it to be that we are His.  I am a child of God.  And that's enough!

As my husband put it this morning, we're ready for the next chapter God has in store!

Teach Me

When I was a little girl among the list of things I wanted to be was a teacher.  I also wanted to be a fashion designer, race car driver, and psychiatrist, but those are for another day, another post!  Being a young married mom though, I opted for a quicker career track after high school.


While I didn't choose that path, God has blessed me throughout life with many teaching opportunities.  I started young, teaching vacation bible school while still a teenager.  In my previous job, one of the things I loved most was when I was training or teaching.  And in my former career at a local college, I covered a vacancy one semester and taught a freshman personal development course.  Loved that.

Through the years, I continued to volunteer through church teaching various Sunday school classes, Wednesday night groups, and VBS.  But it was always to children or those younger than me.  Up until this past weekend, I'd never taught an adult class.  The thought intimidated me, as I worried I didn't know enough.  My fear was that someone would ask a question I couldn't answer. 

But a week ago, I was asked to substitute my own Sunday school class.  My stomach flipped and all those worries returned.  Yet, sitting in class, God stirred me to respond yes.

It was a bit of a struggle this past week while preparing and studying for the class.  Was I on the right session?  What if I presented the wrong one? Doubts became so much that I texted two friends and even called someone ensuring I was on the correct week.   I read through the lesson and felt like I was reading Greek.  Nothing made sense the first time and I had no clue what to pull and share.  I'm certain that Satan wanted nothing more than for me to give up, change my mind, and not teach yesterday.  And that just made me want to dig in my heels and do it even more.

Prayerfully, I dusted myself off and set back to it.  God showed up with perfect timing, bringing out the parts he wanted me to focus on and highlighting scripture to read.  Though nerves tried to reappear, when I stepped up to teach, it all washed away.  It felt natural and I found joy in doing it.

Now, this is not an acceptance letter to a future proposal, should this make it to the hands of the Sunday school director, just admitting it was more enjoyable than expected.  All kidding aside, I know it is more than I can take on right now, even being temporarily "retired" but it was fun to put on my teacher's hat if only as a sub. 

In this season of figuring out where God wants to be, keeping an open mind and being brave to try new things is how I need to respond.  Every experience is a lesson if we're willing to be taught.