A Date and a Sign

January means a new calendar.  A new year...opportunities, anniversaries, plans, hopes and dreams.  For a mom, it also means organization.  My calendar keeps me sane - juggling work, home, school, church, and all the in-betweens. 

I've used the same type of calendar at home for several years.  Purchasing one each book fair at Noah's school, it held large empty spaces across the top for me to write in our names.  This allowed everyone a section on each day, so I could keep track of who does what and goes where when.  Unfortunately, I missed this year's book fair, and thus, did not buy my annual calendar.

2012 arrived and my wall was bare.  I was on the hunt.  Although I couldn't find my typical purchase, I did find a substitute.  Though a little smaller, it seemed to have the space I was looking for.  Instead of across the top, there were slots on the side for our names.  Pulling off the shrink wrap and grabbing a handful of multi-colored sharpies, I sat down with my electronic calendar to help fill in the blanks. 

Writing in the names each year has been hard since losing Austin.  As a mom, you are used to writing the names of your family and for so long we were Tim, Heather, Austin and Noah.  On gift tags, I even abbreviated it "THAN" and everyone knew who it was.  Calendars are also difficult because of yearly reminders - his birthday and angel-versary but also all the milestones of 2012 that Austin won't get to be a part of.

As I flipped to July, I braved my heart and readied myself to fill the space on July 8 and write in Austin's birthday.  Goosebumps covered my arms and I felt a hug from above when I noticed the picture on that exact day.  A butterfly.  And not just on the 8th but all over July's page.  It was just another sweet, heartwarming, soul-soothing sign from above.  Austin is ever present in our lives and never ceases to amaze me by how he sends us hugs and love....all on the wings of a butterfly.