Brave.

I've never been the girl surrounded by a big a group of friends.  Sometimes I stand in amazement at Tina, who to the outside world can seem somewhat quiet or shy, but has dozens of friends.  It was difficult for her to weed down a friend list to invite to her last birthday party.  That was never me.

I solidly had one "best friend" from elementary to high school.  By the time middle school arrived, I branched out a bit and had a good handful of friends.  It wasn't that I didn't want more, it just seemed difficult for me to make friends easily.  At least more than what I considered to be 'high friends' - the familiar faces you'd chat in class with but never hang out or sleep over.

Perhaps it's because I can be perceived as shy.  And anyone who knows me well, will tell you that is just not the case.  As one friend put it, I'm an onion.  Those true friends, angels God has put in my path, just had the bravery to peel back my layers.  And I was brave enough to let them.

Even now, as an adult, who often longs for a few BFFs, my list of friends is rather short.  Tim is my best friend, something I love about our relationship, but as a woman, I still wish for a female version of that role.  Someone to shop or go out to eat with, someone to confide in, someone to just be a silly girl with.  Sometimes.  And then at other times the thought frightens me.  Because being that close to someone other than family opens myself up.  Scary vvulnerability.

I have been blessed with new friendships and close relationships since moving to EHBC.  I'm continually amazed at what God has brought into our lives through this church.  Strong women, faith-filled families, and I'm grateful for each smiling, caring face I've come to know. 

But my preacher put a kink in things when he asked me - and others in our group - to find an accountability partner last night.  Someone you could open up to, share with, pray with.  That's difficult for a girl who hasn't a long list to chose from.  I'm trusting God that he'll send someone my way or reveal the friend I'm meant to have in this role.

Timely that I'm starting a women's bible study tonight, appropriately named - BRAVE.  I'm excited and eager for the class.  And I'm boldly going into a church full of females, many of whom I don't closely know, and putting myself out there.  Bravely submitting to whatever God has in store.