Dreams and Nightmares

For as long as I can remember, I've had a dream of being a writer.

Words have always spoken volumes to me.
And without much effort, they flow out of me.

When I was a little girl, I'm guessing around the age of six, I "made" my first book.  Cutting out cardboard pages and gluing them together, I bound the book that I would later fill with my own words.  I don't remember the story but I vividly recall the process.

And perhaps it was from that moment my passion for writing bloomed.

That dream has always included being published.  The online world made that a reality soon after I began blogging.  But I still desired to see my name in tangible print.  To have words come from my mind and end up in physical form.

It seems surreal that I will see not one but two published books this month.

Both are compilations, I'm honored to be a part of.  Both tell Austin's story.

When I gave birth to him nearly 20 years ago, I knew instantly he'd changed me forever.  My dreams became his.  My goal was his future.  Suddenly this tiny human was the center of my life...

Never would I have imagined he would help to ensure a dream of mine with the nightmare of his passing.

Bittersweet doesn't even begin to describe it.

While the little girl in me surely dreamed of a different topic for her first book, I am thankful for the opportunity to share Austin with the world.

Today is the second anniversary of Still Standing Magazine.  A website that gave me tremendous support when I found them at their launch.  A sisterhood that opened their broken hearts to help mine heal.  And a group I would later have the privilege of guest posting for, then most recently becoming a monthly contributor of.

This second edition book, Still Standing...Because They Lived, includes stories from many of the grieving writers who share their loss but also their hope.  Because they lived, we are still standing.  The link above will allow you to pre-order this beautiful collection today.

Some of you may recognize my own feet...and Austin's memorial tattoo, on the front cover.