Spotless-Not

Whew!  What a busy and productive weekend.  Well, week actually.

We've been in full remodel mode, as we await new carpet installation.  Everything has been ripped and cleared away.  

(Have you ever seen the amount of dirt under a carpet and padding? ICK!)

After my slight panic attack, it allowed me to fully spring clean my living room, wiping down walls from top to bottom and even spraying the base floor with a natural, homemade "febreeze" I created using essential oils.

Other than the fact it looks like we're moving and our voices echo in our empty room, it's rather peaceful inhaling the fresh and clean.

Sitting in the empty room and seeing stain spots, I've been a little misty eyed reminiscing of days gone by.  We moved into this house when Noah was barely two so our boys had a lot of growing up within these walls.  Oh the stories these stains could tell!

And even though I've cleaned heavy in the past few years - nearly every spring and fall, as I rubbed fingerprints and stain smudges, I wondered if any of those lingering were Austin's.

He's been on my mind a lot this week, probably a result of the season bursting forth.  Spring was his favorite time of year.  It meant mowing and baseball, his two favorite pastimes.  

Between the emotions of missing him, the tiredness that comes with a major house project, and the stress from the chaos of packing up the central room of your house, I haven't been the most pleasant person to be around.

Last night was my breaking point.  Home from picking up one of the kids, I see piles of carpet in my front yard.  I was gone literally 10 minutes, which meant my husband had started without us.  Which also meant he shuffled the couches on his own, hobbling on his still injured foot.  (Awaiting results but we think it is a torn Achilles heel).

Seriously this stubborn man is a pain in my heel some days!

Worried about him injuring himself, and unprepared for the dust from the process, now all over my kitchen and dining room floors, my mouth opened and ugly came out.

That's the thing with words.  Once you say them, you can't take them back.  He was hoping to get the bulk of the dust out before I made it home, knowing how I suffer from allergies.  And as always, he never thinks of himself or the risk he did to his ankle.  Needless to say, we both went to bed hurt and irritated, in addition to the bone tired.

It was a night of sleeplessness for me though, as I tossed and turned, replaying the event in my head.  I didn't like how easily the flesh took over and caused discord in our family.  Feeling weak and defeated and still achy from the weekend's work, I pondered even going to church this morning.  Satan jumped all over that open invitation to hiss in my ear about how I wasn't worthy of being there.

But instead of giving in, I turned harder to Him.  Opening my Bible, I prayed for peace and answers, to calm my spirit and nudge me in the right direction.  And you know what, that's all it took.  God gave me the heart hug I needed but also the kick in the pants to get up and get going.

Within moments of walking in, my mood shifted.  The tension between Tim and I dissolved.  We came home for a quick lunch and tackled the rest of the project together in unison.  

Moving the couches out to the deck to tear the final section, I noticed how dirty they were in the sun. And I set to dusting and scrubbing them clean too.

Funny how that is.  All it takes is a little light from the SON to shine on the dirty and help cast it away.