I have this friend. She's a beautiful person, inside and out.
I've known her most of my life, though we've never really been close. Well, close in the alphabet for last names, so we often sat near each other in school.
Growing up, I admired her and was maybe just a bit envious. She was a popular kid but not a snobby one. Even back then I could tell she had a kind heart. Though she had a large circle of friends, she talked to everyone and treated them the same.
Recently, God has brought her back into my life.
I still admire her, as she is strong, Christian woman. And maybe still just a bit envious.
Or rather envious seems a strong word. But I left her last week thinking to myself how blessed she was. And knowing the circle of friends she has, I thought to myself, how nice that might be.
You see, I'm an introvert. And if you know anything about those of us who are, it is sometimes difficult to make friends. It's not that I'm shy, at times I'm quite the opposite. I am, as one friend described, an onion. It takes awhile to get to know me. And I don't often allow many to make it to the center.
Not that I don't want friends, I do. I like them. Actually, at many times in my life I've prayed for them. Throughout, I can count on one hand the number of true, close friends I've had. And many of them are family. My husband is my best friend. But if I'm honest, at times, I'm lonely or longing for something more.
In my mind, the girl with a large circle of friends, who doesn't have problems inviting people over because she has many to choose from is more fulfilled than me.
Until I find she's not.
The sweet, beautiful friend I mentioned above? Well, she shared with me the other day that she too has a hole. Even with the life she's been blessed with she sometimes feels alone.
I pondered, how can you feel alone with so many friends? Then God whispered to my heart, because only He can fill that hole.
How many times have I tried to fill it with something else?
If only...
but nothing ever quite fit. No person, possession or position can fill it.
Like a corner piece into the center of a puzzle. No matter what I try to fit in that hole, it will never feel complete. Because it is a God-shaped hole.
Now certainly, friendships are a gift. And I'm grateful for God placing people in my life at just the right moments. But I'm also glad when He reveals -and reminds me that He's the answer for whatever I've been searching for.
Praying... if you're reading this feeling any kind of empty, that you'll seek the only One who can truly fill it.
Saturday, March 12, 2016
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