Love My People

After a loss, one of the most common phrases you will hear is "if there's anything you need, call me."  We say this because who really knows what to say in the midst of someone's grief.

In reality though, it would be rare for someone grieving to call out for help, even if it were for something simple.  Grief holds you hostage and normal, everyday tasks can seem overwhelming.  To think in advance or even know what to ask for may feel impossible.  And even if you do, it feels like you're imposing to ask.

I remember a few people who were very specific with help when we lost Austin.  One asked if they could go to the store for me.  With casseroles running out our ears, you might think this seemed like an odd suggestion.  But stores carry more than groceries - and it was the last place I wanted to be.  Public places made you vulnerable.  Well meaning people, even if they just glanced pitifully your way, could send you spiraling.  I sent her for random supplies that I needed - hair supplies, toilet paper, stamps, paper goods, and it was so appreciated.

Others asked how they could help with Noah.  Did he need someplace to retreat to when/if the funeral home became to much.  What was his favorite snack, or movie?  Could they take him out or let him play with their children?  Pick up his homework?  Siblings are often forgotten in loss so this meant everything to me.

Austin passed the day after Thanksgiving.  A few special friends sent flowers or keepsakes weeks later, right on the cusp of Christmas.  As holidays make it extra difficult to be grieving, this hugged our broken hearts.

Of course, so many prayers were offered and lifted up for us but some asked me exactly how they should pray.  Being able to vent, even if electronically, and share unique burdens in the journey of child loss was an unexpected relief.

Prayers are appreciated, coveted by those in grief.  But sometimes - often - prayer is not enough.

A few weekends ago, we were wakened with the news that my husband's friend since childhood had suddenly passed.  I began cooking, my go-to in condolences, as Tim made calls.  On our drive to their home, we thought of the many times since his illness we'd meant to stop by and visit.  He was a private man, not wanting anyone to even know he was sick, and so it made it difficult to know what to do.  Instead, we frequently prayed for them.  Now, we're saddened that he didn't see him in the end.

His wife said something that has stuck with me since.  We'd exchanged thoughts about how life gets busy and both sides meant to connect sooner, hindsight-wishes now.  She was realizing what she should've done for us, in our loss, even the midst of hers.  She told a story about helping others.

"Jesus said, 'Love my people' and often we just don't."

How true.  It is so easy to say or post that we're praying for a situation.  Or to give the standard "call me" response when tragedy strikes.  But we need to be moved to react.  We should be His hands and feet and literally love on those who are in need.

I began writing this post before his funeral but received a God wink when one of the pastors spoke on this very thing.  He read scripture about Jesus being questioned on the greatest commandment and challenged everyone to love God, love people.

Our friend was the epitome of a true servant.  He served God, his country, his community - even in his battle with his health, his service to his family was that not much changed during his illness.  The  rows of people and longest procession I remember ever driving in, showed the vast number of lives he touched.  When I think of him, I always picture him doing, never one to sit around.

We could all learn from his example to serve more, unselfishly. And be reminded to not just think but do, especially in times of grief or great need.

Camp Connection

One of my favorite parts of travel is searching for the perfect spot and planning the trip.  For our mini fall break getaway, I had a wish list in finding our home away from home.  We wanted to camp but indoor plumbing was a must.  Since we had a small window of days, it needed to be realitively close so we didn't spend all our time driving.  Something near the water and promising views, since we enjoy being outdoors.  And my hope was to be tech free, though being more than a request to my guys was an added bonus.

In the end, we chose to rent a camper in Cumberland Falls, Kentucky.  It was a state park we haven't visited, even though I'd traveled near there for work a few years ago.  I knew from driving it before, the scenery would be amazing this time of year.

It did not disappoint.

We purposefully set the GPS to take us there via back roads and avoided the interstate as much as possible.  For me, in a road trip, getting there is half the fun.  I love spontaneous stops and finds along the way.  The photo above was actually called Haunted Cave Road, as peaceful as it seems.  Noah noticed it, and much to his surprise, I said, "Let's go down it!"

Through the curves and winding roads, we talked and laughed, while Noah took turns between being DJ and helping me drive.  Tim, ever the trooper, worked the night before we left so he napped in between raising up to view the scenery or see why we stopped.

Noah realized, as we entered Daniel Boone forest, the cell service became sketchy.  Luckily, his phone was pre-programmed with our route.  Truly, that and taking photos were the only thing we really used our phones for the entire trip.  I knew the camper didn't have a tv, which was fine by me, and my plan was to invoke our "no tech" rule we have on similar vacations.  Much to my delight, the area took care of that for me, as the only way you could get a signal was to turn your head just so and point your arm at an angle while walking uphill.  

Being disconnected from the world allowed us to connect more deeply with each other.  

In fact, apart from the scenery, my favorite memories of the trip are of the time we spent playing games, cooking over an open fire, and sitting around talking/laughing/telling stories.  When I replay this trip over in my mind, I smile over scenes of us at the table playing cards, singing along to classics on the camper radio, and enjoying amazing meals together with no outside distractions.  

We had so much fun in the camper, we plan to extend our next camping trip - wherever that may be.  Even my techy-phone always in his hand-teen enjoyed the time being unavailable and not receiving constant notifications.  All three of us decided we could easily handle a week of nothing but togetherness.  Not being instantly available is a peaceful freedom, circa 1996.

Of course, one of the special moments of our trip was our day spent visiting Cumberland Falls.  I've had this place in my "go to" folder for years, always trying to coordinate our breaks with the moonbow that happens there.  Even though we missed the moonbow by a matter of days, it did not diminish the astounding beauty of the place.

I could've stood for hours marveling at this landscape.

To get to this particular spot, took walking down several sections of steps, something I might have opted out of even a year ago.  With my knee injury, steps are not my friend, but I decided the memory worth any temporary pain that might come.  

Life is too short to sit on the sidelines.

Although I wasn't as adventurous as this duo, who had me randomly stopping at any rocky spot that seemed interesting throughout our trip.  Besides, somebody had to stay with the car and drive to a signal, provided a bear jump out - or an ankle twist!

However, they were pretty proud of how well ol' mom hung on the trip.  

I'm pretty proud too...

even if my hamstrings still feel those hills!

We packed a picnic for our visit to the falls but just happened upon our spot.  It was just up the road, nestled by the river that fed the waterfall.  With only one other family there, it made for a quiet and beautiful place to dine outdoors.  

As do all vacations, the end came before we were really ready.  But this area and the memories made will always hold a special place in my blessed and joyful heart.

Fall Break Festivities

Fall break began this weekend and many of our friends headed south, so they are dodging hurricanes and torrential downpours.  We are headed east and hoping the rain-clouds steer clear!

Saturday we spent the day festival hopping.  A yearly tradition, we began at the Nut Club, a foodie lover's dream, full of food trucks as far as the eye can see.  Nearly every booth has unique items, such as brain sandwiches, centipede suckers, and snails. 

Some years we strategize, some we are spontaneous on our choices.  Though I had a few stops in mind, we ended up just eating what caught our eye.

I've been low-carbing for a couple months but planned to cheat this day with a "one bite rule."  What I quickly realized is that my belly has significantly shrunk in capacity so, after a few bites, I was full.  It didn't help that one of our first stops was the giant turkey leg booth.  Tim bought one, feeling it was a safe choice amidst the freaky fried delicacies, and I shared it with him. 

By the halfway point we were stuffed, hot and inching toward being miserable, so we cut the trip short.  Noah decided we need to come twice next year, once at night and once during the day.  Sounds like a plan!

We made it home in time for the tail end of our hometown fall festival but rain saw many of the booths close early.  Since it was a record year of vendors, I was a little disappointed to not browse but my hubby's wallet was relieved. 

Noah had entered the chili contest though so we hung around for the results.  He placed 2nd.  This momma is biased and isn't sure how he didn't claim 1st, but we're proud either way.  Added bonus is we got to enjoy the leftovers!

We're unplugging the rest of the week and going on a mini camping retreat. I cannot wait for some family time around the campfire and surrounded by God's beautiful landscape, especially this time of year.   I'm sure there will be a post to update you, once we return.

Wishing you and yours a blessed and JOYFUL Fall Break!