Pomp and Circumstance

My baby flew the nest on Friday night.  Once an eagle, always an eagle, but no longer a high school student.

I sat with family and a few thousand friends in a packed gym watching my guy walk the line with one of his best pals.  And much to my surprise, I didn't cry.

Perhaps because that ugly cry came on Wednesday night.  Around 11pm, he headed to the senior campout, a tradition where the kids all gather at the high school, play a few pranks, and "sleep" on campus so they can pick their seat for graduation.  When the door shut, it dawned on me that morning was the last morning I would ever wake him up for class.  Cue the tears.

I'm not sure why that symbolism started the waterworks but for the next hour or so I sobbed into my pillow as the last 18 years flooded me with memories.

When you are knee-deep in diapers, everyone tells you how fast the years will go but you don't fully realize it until they are teens and you're willing time to slow down.  Yet, as much as I miss those baby days, I really enjoy the young man he's become.

The entire week has been filled with milestones.  From fretting over finals and getting texts of relief, celebratory lunches, Baccalaureate service, cap and gown pictures, Project Graduation, to hosting a house of excited boys all weekend, this momma is blessedly pooped.  And her son has to be too.  He has, after all, been up with very little sleep for four days in a row!

As such, Monday was most certainly a day of rest.  Noah and I stopped at the downtown Memorial day parade and snuck off for sushi, while hubby slept.  We were able to all gather for a quiet dinner before hitting the new week, watching the finale of "The Middle;" which was symbolically similar to what we were experiencing.  Babies leaving the nest...

It may be summer but our guy has a wonderful job and will be pulling lots of hours now that school is out.  This morning was his first day of reality.  Though I set an emergency backup alarm, this momma was proud to see that he was already up, showered, and eating cereal when I checked on him.  So, I went back to bed!

Looking back, the weekend wasn't anything like I expected but it was beautifully wonderful.  I'm so excited for what the future holds that I can't spend time being weepy or sad of him growing up on me.  He brings me such joy, no matter what stage of life we're in!

Fall Break Festivities

Fall break began this weekend and many of our friends headed south, so they are dodging hurricanes and torrential downpours.  We are headed east and hoping the rain-clouds steer clear!

Saturday we spent the day festival hopping.  A yearly tradition, we began at the Nut Club, a foodie lover's dream, full of food trucks as far as the eye can see.  Nearly every booth has unique items, such as brain sandwiches, centipede suckers, and snails. 

Some years we strategize, some we are spontaneous on our choices.  Though I had a few stops in mind, we ended up just eating what caught our eye.

I've been low-carbing for a couple months but planned to cheat this day with a "one bite rule."  What I quickly realized is that my belly has significantly shrunk in capacity so, after a few bites, I was full.  It didn't help that one of our first stops was the giant turkey leg booth.  Tim bought one, feeling it was a safe choice amidst the freaky fried delicacies, and I shared it with him. 

By the halfway point we were stuffed, hot and inching toward being miserable, so we cut the trip short.  Noah decided we need to come twice next year, once at night and once during the day.  Sounds like a plan!

We made it home in time for the tail end of our hometown fall festival but rain saw many of the booths close early.  Since it was a record year of vendors, I was a little disappointed to not browse but my hubby's wallet was relieved. 

Noah had entered the chili contest though so we hung around for the results.  He placed 2nd.  This momma is biased and isn't sure how he didn't claim 1st, but we're proud either way.  Added bonus is we got to enjoy the leftovers!

We're unplugging the rest of the week and going on a mini camping retreat. I cannot wait for some family time around the campfire and surrounded by God's beautiful landscape, especially this time of year.   I'm sure there will be a post to update you, once we return.

Wishing you and yours a blessed and JOYFUL Fall Break!

Dad's Day Delimmas

After the month Tim's had, I wanted him to have a good Father's Day.  Not knowing how he'd feel though made planning difficult.  And, being that we couldn't do his favorite outing - fishing, it left us wondering how to make it special.

We set out Saturday for lunch and a movie, figuring both were indoors and cool so not to aggravate his breathing.  But about 10 minutes into the meal, Tim quickly deflated.  Actually, he later admitted that he wasn't feeling well when he awoke but he didn't want to disappoint us so he pushed through, hoping it would pass.  Stubborn man...

Once home, we got him tucked into bed and worked on making the most of Sunday for him.  It further put a kink in our plans because, as a side effect to the numerous meds they've pumped into Tim, he now has thrush.

Poor guy.

Father's Day is hard enough.  Every day is difficult when you've lost a child but a holiday dedicated to reminding you about being a parent adds to the sting.  Not that we'll ever forget Austin - or want to - but I usually try and plan things centered around what he loves most, in hopes to somewhat distract from the pain of the day.

When you take away fishing, fun and food from my guy, there isn't a lot left to make him smile.

But his baby boy stepped up big this weekend and helped Tim feel extra loved.  And the best part is, he did it on his own.  Sometimes I forget how grown up he has become.

Having his Dad in the hospital was tough on Noah and I think the timing of the holiday allowed him to share how much he really means to him.  When we returned home from church, Tim found a note and photo collage that brought tears to both of our eyes.

While his dad was napping, Noah set to prepping the feast he'd shopped on his own for.  My spice master had to tone down his plans a bit, taking into account Tim's tender mouth.  But, as always, our chef in the making did not disappoint.  (those ribs...that sauce!  Man, I'm hungry now)

As you can see from Tim's expression he was well-pleased.
And that was before he even tasted!

     

After dinner, when Tim starting hinting for dessert, Noah left to get his favorite shake, extra soothing in his recovery.  He came in with more than a frosty cup though and shocked his Dad even more.

We'd heard Tim mention a new pole the store got in stock and knew it was on his wish list. After losing a pole to the "one that got away" earlier this year, he was tickled to have a high tech version with an bite alarm.  Both Noah and I got a chuckle at him dream fishing from his recliner.  He held on to the pole until time to leave for work!

In the end, I think he had a Father's Day to remember and felt how loved and treasured he is to both of us.  Now to just get him well and back on the boat!

Mind over Matter

One of our summer traditions every Friday is that Noah and I will go out for lunch on a culinary adventure.  We've been doing this for the past couple years and it's something we look forward to all week.  Given his interest and passion in the field, our trips seem to fuel his desire to be a chef even more.

We're a month into the season and this has been the first outing I've been able to really enjoy.  Sickness seemed to hit our family on the cusp of Memorial day weekend, so our summer hasn't quite been what we'd imagined.  Given that it is Noah's last before college, it makes it even harder to see the weeks slipping by.

Illness has taken the driver seat in the Blair house and attempted to steer and control our emotions.  While it has been what has kept from writing, I'm determined to not let it steal my joy.

Even when you're aware and fighting against it, stress has a way of sneaking in and distracting you without your permission.  I've noticed it in my guys, as they've been very forgetful.  Tim fell asleep the other day and left the dogs outside.  Noah turned his back on the stove and filled the house with smoke.  I'm not even sure what day it is most of the time so I know I'm not in any better shape!

For those of you who are inclined to pray, we're hopeful for complete healing for my husband from an unknown respiratory illness.  And answers.  This momma has a hard time hearing "unknown" and respiratory illness in the same sentence, after losing her son in a very similar way.

It doesn't matter how many eye rolls, avoidance, or even being called "Dr Google" by physicians, who don't seem to care about my concerns or lack of a diagnosis, I will press on.  

As determined as I may seem at present, it has been difficult to stay focused on what matters most and find joy in every day.  Yes, even this joy-seeking girl was knocked on her bottom the past week and had my own share of pity parties.

Though we've been blessed with church family and friends, who have walked alongside us, visited Tim in the hospital, checked in regularly, and are praying constantly, there have been times I've felt very alone. 

But God hasn't ceased in sending me hope and encouragement. 

Somehow messages always seem to come when I need them most, as well as scripture. It is no surprise I've been studying Ephesians, Philippians and 1 Peter, Suffering is inevitable in this world but despite life's roller coaster, our constant is the JOY of the Lord.  

We may never get the answers to why this is happening but we do know Who is in control.  Time and time again, I'm reminded that my joy is not tied to my circumstances.  Happiness can change with the weather but my joy comes within and nothing can take that away.

Aside from my faith, I've been practicing a simple technique I read about during the long hours waiting in the ER.  When we're faced with every day obstacles, chores, needs, we can choose our attitude in how we approach it.

Instead of saying I have to....I try to say I GET to.

Goodness, how that shifts my perspective.

I get to sleep in the chair next to my husband, night after night, because he is still with me.

I get to drive back and forth from home to hospital because I have a job to help provide for us.

I get to do extra laundry and dishes and sort out medicine and take on extra responsibilities around the house because God gives me the strength to endure.

I get to ask for prayers for my family because we have loving relationships with faith-minded friends who will stand with us in trials.

I get to stay inside where it is cool and keep my husband from the heat because we are fortunate to have a home with air conditioning.

And funny enough, I used the same technique to get through a creepy culinary bite that my son ordered.  Our goal each Friday is to either eat somewhere new or try a dish we've never had.  Yesterday we checked both those off our list and ordered a quail egg appetizer off the sushi menu.  

I'm not sure what we expected but the raw eggs staring back at us on a plate were not what either us envisioned.  Noah's giant hand gingerly picked up his tiny shell and held it up for me toast the moment.  

Instead of saying, I have to eat this slimy egg, I whispered, 

"I get to try a new experience with my son"....

several times before I sucked the concoction through clenched teeth.

I can't guarantee that this technique will make what your facing any easier to swallow 

but it will help you stomach what's ahead!