Missing: JOY

Inevitably, this time of year seems to bring me down.  I forget year to year until it hits.  This time, it appeared on my birthday and has seemed to linger most of the week.  Joy is missing.

Probably a mixture of many things but weather and the aches and pains that go with it certainly don't help my mood.  We had unusually high temps the past two days and a sneak peek at sunshine, which I can tell improved me some. 

But, although I was feeling better, I must have not looked it.  Multiple times this week, I've been asked if I'm sick.  While a cough is still lingering from Christmas, I am physically well.  I'm just a little ho-hum.

Have you been there, friends?

When joy doesn't leap in your lap, what's a girl to do? 

Well, you just have to dust yourself off and seek it out.  Sometimes joy is a fight.  I think I borrowed that from Chewbacca Mom but, knowing her spirit, she won't mind.  Because it is so true.

Joy doesn't always come easy, even for a joy-seeker.  And sometimes joy is missing even when there isn't anything "wrong."  When joy is absent, in times of grief or trauma, it is expected but when things are relatively good, yet joy still hides, it can be frustrating.

Where are you, JOY?

What I know from my child-loss journey is you often have to search out joy.  When you are unable to feel it with ease, pause and reflect on simple joys.  They are always there.  A hot cup of coffee, gas in the fireplace, and time with God are the joyful ways I started my morning.  Watching the doggies slip and scatter across the deck might have also given me a chuckle but I rewarded them with a treat when they returned.

I could focus on the negative - the worries of the winter storm and my husband making it home safely.  Or that he'll more than likely have to work all weekend, due to being one of the closest to the store who could make it in.  Or, the fact that my joints are fully reporting the ice and snow that will arrive today.  And the many other issues Satan will undoubtedly hiss in my ear.  Or, I can focus on the good.  Joy is about choosing where you will focus your heart and mind.

In seasons where I struggle, practicing self-care is a must. Even if I don't "feel" like it, taking time to care for myself has to be a priority.  Putting on a face mask and drenching myself in lotion before bed restores my skin but also gives a boost to my soul.  Planning to dust off the walking DVD and move my body this wintery weekend will benefit my health and my spirit.  Cooking nutritious foods for my family, instead of calorie-ridden comfort casseroles will give us energy instead of increasing our need to hibernate.  And using essential oils that are meant to uplift, calm and soothe is a natural way to help myself.  Playing positive music and praying is also a given, even if I'm not struggling for joy.

Should tears fall anyway, despite my efforts, sometimes letting go and having a cry can be healing. And allowed.  Just don't linger there long.

Pat those tears off your cheeks, breathe deep and get back in the search for JOY.