Borrow a cup of sugar?

When is the last time you borrowed something from your neighbor?  Growing up we always had family nearby so it was nothing to run up the hill to an aunt's or across the field to grandma's to get something we needed. We never really borrowed from neighbors that weren’t family though,  that I can recall.

My husband, on the other hand, has lent or borrowed things in our neighborhood many times.  We live in a Cul-de-sac with a friendly group of people who watch over each other's homes/kids but I can’t say that I’ve swapped many cups of sugar.

Even before the pandemic, my cousin and I often swap or borrow things we need.  Having her close by has been a blessing in many ways but probably more so These days. It helps to know that within walking distance there’s someone you can trust and count on.

Especially during this time, when going to the grocery store is an ordeal, we have found each other dropping off, sharing, or swapping things we need. Social distancing always practiced of course.

 I’ve noticed others doing it as well. My husband has bartered or traded for services a few times in the past several weeks. And when he mistakenly bought the wrong type of soil for my plants, a nearby friend and former teacher stated online she would buy it. Of course, when I had my son drop it off, I had no intentions of her doing so.  But she was prepared to pay in the form of homemade bread.

It reminds me of the old days when bartering and trading was a common form of currency. I wonder how it lost its value along the way.

Bartering became popular during the depression because of lack of money. It’s interesting that we are faced with nearly the same dilemma almost a century later.   While there are many things about the pandemic that are difficult or frightening this common courtesy I see as a welcome change.  And I for one will always except fresh baked bread, country eggs, or a good cup of coffee as currency anytime.

simple joys

For the most part, life still feels relatively the same here despite the pandemic.  Everyone in our house is considered essential so we are all working.  I've always been a homebody so I'm content going days without leaving the house.  

The biggest change is, of course, the uncertainty and fear of the unknown.  An increase in cleaning and sanitizing,  though with a baby in the house and regular flu season this was already practiced.   And not being able to get out as a family on the weekends or have date night. One of the hardest changes is not being able to see and hug family regularly.  

Yesterday,  we loaded up and had a day out.  I hadn't seen my grandma in weeks and needed to put eyes on her, even though we talk on the phone regularly. 

Thankfully it was a somewhat sunny day and enabled us to do an outdoor visit. Grandma bundled up in layers (not too different than she is inside) and sat on her deck, while we sat up lawn chairs in the yard. The 6 ft distancing posed a little difficulty, in that her vision is very low and hearing not much better. But we made the most of it.

We shared laughs and listened to her stories, often forgetting about the current state of the world. It was leaving time that reminded us, as we've never said goodbye without hugging. I threw virtual hugs and the baby blew kisses which still made her smile.

Afterward we grabbed a snack and drove to a nearby park to eat in the truck with the sunroof open. I remembered the squirrels were rather friendly there and figured everyone would enjoy watching them beg for fries. 

It was nice to just sit and be together with no real agenda or timeline. No to-do list or rush in the busyness of most Saturdays.

Being out in public -even distanced did bring a sense of normalcy again. Simple Joys we probably all took for granted before.  

Joy is possible

Over a decade ago, I started this blog in the hope of finding joy again. Feeling anything good because darkness surrounded me.

Losing my oldest son so unexpectedly ripped away any sign of joy in my life for a time.

Instead, I lived in a constant state of fear and grief.  Fear for my surviving son, as an unknown virus took his brother without warning. And grief, I learned quickly,  comes in all stages at once and backwards, not a perfect timeline as the list might indicate.

I yearned for normalcy. For the life we knew and loved. Even the hard days and the simple things we took for granted.

Instead, I was locked into a rollercoaster nightmare beyond my control. I couldn't sleep but when I did flashes of that night took over me. I lived my days on auto pilot but was very much in a state of shock.

The world is in a state of shock right now. Life as we all know it has been turned upside down. In the midst of a pandemic most of us are also dealing with everyday trials. And in addition to that the added stress and load that comes with unexpected change.

 Trouble didn't stop because of covid-19; in fact, it just inflated it.

If you were already dealing with marital issues, sickness, financial instability, or any number of things the pandemic has likely only increased it. And new stressors no one could have ever imagined like school and home offices existing in the same tiny spaces, or the sudden loss of multiple incomes in a family unit, or struggling  with food and personal care shortages.

Joy in the midst of all of this could seem almost laughable to some. Unfathomable to many.  Impossible to most.

But it is possible. What I learned in my grief journey is that joy is a choice. It is making the effort everyday to find even one glimmer of hope in the midst of darkness. It is opening yourself up the possibilities you never knew before. To learn that joy and sadness can coexist.  It doesn't happen overnight and some days are more of a struggle than others. But Joy can become a habit. It can become so common that you no longer have to search for it, it finds you.

 In an effort to bring a bit of good news and a source of hope in a world that is drowning I am going to start writing here again to share simple joys I find in every day. My prayer is that it helps you in some small way.

 I'm not sure how often I'll share but I will make an effort to do so regularly.  If it isn't enough for you feel free to browse the over a decade of material on the side bar.
Life is certainly different than when I wrote  before.  Currently I'm dictating this post from my phone so forgive the many errors.

Joyfully yours...