Senior Sentiments

I almost lost it in the underwear aisle.

Back to school shopping with my son, it hit me this was more than likely our last outing for such a thing.  Part of me tearing up and the other wanting to laugh at how sentimental one can become about buying boxers with their kid, er -nearly grown man.

I'm facing this season with the heavy weighted knowledge that it is our final year as mom and child.

My baby is entering his senior year.  Towering over us, his large frame makes most think he's already graduated college.  At 17, there are ways he's still very much a boy though.  The Nerf attacks he and his friend has through my house when together is proof.  But in many ways, he is changing into a responsible adult.

This teetering on adulthood has my momma-heart bursting with emotions.

His last "first day of school" found me sobbing, after he pulled out of the driveway.  My husband shook his head, not understanding my reason for tears.

But a mom is forever connected to her child.  Growing inside inside my belly for nearly a year, our hearts beat in sync.  And with each step further into becoming an adult, I feel that tether being stretched.

Nobody really warns you of this stage of parenting.

Sure, you hear, "they grow so fast."  And, as you're buying shoes and pants mid-school year, because he's already outgrown them, this knowledge is easy to understand.  Yet, I wasn't prepared for how quickly the years would pass by.  It seems as if I have blinked to find my little boy standing before me as a man.

This weekend, he asked if we could go out.  As the waitress brought our tickets, he quickly grabbed them. And again, as we pulled into the drive-in, he handed his cash to pay.  I was tickled enough he chose to spend a free Saturday with his parents, much less offer to cover the cost.

By the first of the year, he'll be officially an adult.  Next summer, a college student.  With such milestones hovering, it is difficult to not feel like a giant clock is counting down the days you have left with them.

I'm trying to embrace the days instead.  To not dwell on the lasts but to soak up the moments.  To let my heart record more than my phone does so I am fully present.  To linger in the laughter and simple joys.  To lift up thanks for the blessing it is to be called "momma" and to hear it spoken from his stubbled lips but still baby face.

Man of the House

Any parent knows how quickly children grow up. Sometimes you blink and realize how much time has actually passed.  Sometimes, you're blessed to see and recognize it in the moment. 

I find myself staring at my changing boy.  How tall he is growing.  And yet how gentle he remains.

My gentle giant.  (heart sigh)  

He was so eager to scoop up baby Lee last Saturday, not even complaining about having to to rise from bed on a Saturday morning before noon.  In fact, he told me the night before to make sure I woke him because he wanted to hold him first.  It's so sweet to see them together and the sharp contrast between one so tiny and another so strong. 

Even though we're on spring break, most nights I've been in bed well before 10 p.m.  Easter evening we retired even earlier, a mixture of sunrise service catching up with us and a belly full of ham.  While Tim and I were in bed reading our devotional, I overheard Noah check the locks on the doors.  This is something his Dad does nightly anyway, but my youngest man of the house is following in his footsteps. 

Yesterday, while at the mall enjoying some food court Chinese chicken, Noah was first out of the line and went off to find us seats.  As Tina and I joined him, he reached out his hands and led us in prayer.  Surrounded by his peer group, he didn't hesitate in giving thanks and being an example.  And one proud momma bowed with him, soul singing.

Then today, as he's juggling chores and helping a mom with spring cleaning fever, I hear the scraping sound of the trash totes being drug to the curb.  Tomorrow is trash day and, without being asked, Noah just did the job.  Something simple, yet shows how much he's maturing.  My little guy nearly grown.



easily leaning on Mom...