What is Joy?

 

So before I can dive fully into to this project, and what I hope to become my new way of viewing life, I need to ask some questions.  If my challenge is to find, or rather realize, the joy in every day…I have to ask myself, what is joy?

When I say the word JOY I think of happiness, laughter, enjoying the moment.   Webster defines joy as:

1 a : the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : delight b : the expression or exhibition of such emotion : gaiety
2 : a state of happiness or felicity : bliss
3 : a source or cause of delight

The first definition sounds greedy to me.  It is the feeling that results from getting what we want.  That is not what I want this challenge to be for me.  I’m more of a #2 girl, I guess.  I want to capture those moments, big or small, that cause me unexpected joy.  Unplanned Joy.  Surprise Joy.  …That is my goal.

The word joy often takes me back to a story from my past.  I see my grandfather’s sweet face.  It instantly makes me smile, and as such, brings me joy.

My grandpa was a preacher.  He held other jobs through the years to help support his family but preaching was his passion.  Grandpa Henry also loved to sing, especially in church.  One Christmas, the choir (and Grandpa) shared a collection of favorite holiday hymns with the congregation.  Even though they were songs most of us know by heart, they had music sheets for each one.  Grandpa had them in order and was ready to go, or so he thought. 

Now, I don’t know why he didn’t listen to the intro of the song, maybe he was caught up in the moment.  The pianist, most likely my Aunt Becky, played the beginning of “Silent Night”.  As the choir took a deep breath as a group, one member began to belt out the song.  Well, it was A song, at least.

My Grandpa, full of spirit, loudly and passionately began to sing “Joy to the World”.  About one line into it, he realized he was giving a solo and looked around.  Laughter soon filled the air, in an unplanned moment, one which everyone expected to be sweet and silent.

That story followed Grandpa for years to come.  In fact, it was nothing unusual to hear the beginning tune of “Silent Night” followed by a loud, “Joy to the world!” from anyone who knew the story.

We could never hear either song without thinking of that funny moment that Grandpa unexpectedly gave us.  It still makes me chuckle – and brings me JOY even today.

Joy in Every Day

Losing a child has been the most difficult and dark journey I've ever faced. For so long, I feared that we'd remain in a fog of sadness and depression for the rest of our lives. Those first few months were so painful, I thought I might never laugh with my family again.

I don't remember the first time I smiled after losing Austin, let alone laughed, but I'm sure on some level I felt guilty. Sometimes I still do. More than anything now though, I just wish he was here to experience whatever joy has showered our day.

It's been a little less than two years since Austin's passing. Sadly, the pain never really goes away, you just learn to function better with each day. There are still dark days, like rain clouds hovering over your head; but, there is sunshine now too. I smile. I laugh. I enjoy life, most of the time. It is hard. I can't sugar-coat that. But giving up and not experiencing all life has to offer would be harder.

If I had to pick a top lesson from this experience, it is to Live Every Moment.
Life - is short. Life - is a gift. It is a lesson Austin knew from the start, and looking back over his life, one of the things I am most proud of. He lived and he lived well. In his fourteen years on Earth, he lived more than most people do "in a lifetime". It is his legacy...and what has kept me going since losing him.

I couldn't sleep tonight and writing is often a way for me to release, relax, let go. This idea came to me and just wouldn't leave. It insisted, pleaded, urged me to the computer. It challenged me. It reminded me of how Austin would get his way, for whatever it was he wanted at the time. And I have to think he has something to do this project, if nothing else he is the inspiration for it.

So, here is my challenge. A challenge that I hope most days won't be so difficult to find. I'm searching for the JOY in every day. I'm seeking it with open arms. And I hope you'll join me!