Random Funnies

It has been one of those Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad weeks.

There are days when I can think that pretty much sums up life for me.  Because I have undoubtedly had more than my fair share of terrible, horrible, no good, very bad things to happen to me and my family.

And knowing this, it is so easy to give in, give up, or lose hope.  I have to remind myself of the good that overshadows the bad.  God has blessed this life, this I know.  Any good has come from Him.  

But on those THNGVB days, even knowing the promise of my future, I sometimes need an extra dose of happiness.  Searching out the joy is what keeps me putting one foot in front of the other some days.

When I'm having an Eeyore moment....

I have to find the good...the happy...the JOY....the funny.

Maybe you're having an Eeyore rainy day too?  If so, have a laugh on me.  Or five.

1.  Good things come to those who wait....?

This faded and stained collage contains photos of me through the school years.  From pigtails to ponytails...bad perms...my "black Robert Smith of the Cure phase"...and hair so big it takes up 1/2 the frame..all the way to senior year. 

 Ahh, the memories!  I wouldn't consider myself cute, even in the early days.  My 2nd grade photo looks like one of those old western photos restored to color.  Did my horse just die?  3rd grade...apparently refugee hippy was in style.  4th, I look like an old school teacher or nun.  Seriously?  Lace!?  Mom, what were you thinking?!  Where did my wardrobe come from, Sue Heck, from the TV show "The Middle"?

Not that I could ever have entered a beauty pageant, at least I ended decent in my senior photo.  Geez.
 

2.  Can you spare a square?

Everyone has funny bathroom stories.  Mine and the other lady involved probably differ a bit, as maybe hers seemed a little less funny, more traumatic.  

I don't really recall where I was but, against my usual better judgment, I entered a stall without a thorough check and sweep to sit right down for business.  Once already in the act, I realized there was no toilet paper.   I am not a shake and dry gal.  To my relief, someone entered the next stall.  In the nicest way possible, I asked the lady if she could spare some paper. 

No response.

"Excuse Me?"  I said a little louder.

Still, nothing.  Not even the sound of tinkle.  But I can see her feet so I know she's there.  Maybe she's shy, or hard of hearing, or reaallly concentrating.  So, I go to tap on the wall between us.

In doing so, my hand hits the "intimates" trash can that is shared between the two stalls.  I'm guessing it was hanging on a wing and a prayer, as I swear I barely touched it, but it goes flying off the wall.

And into her stall.

She's screaming now and there is a gaping hole between us.  Seeing her bare legs was enough for me to decide I'd dripped dry by this point.  I apologized profusely and got the heck out of dodge, not even stopping to wash my hands! 

3.  Where'd that come from?

On our wedding day, we had cute little mauve packets of birdseed for our guests to throw at us as we exited the building. 

Being the animal lover I was, I remember researching it (way back before Google so it was probably word of mouth) and learning that the commonly thrown rice was dangerous for birds.  Bubbles were too expensive for these young newlyweds, so I opted to make my own packets with pink mesh and a pound of seed.

The thought was nice, envisioning a made-for-tv-moment of beautiful birdseed scattered across our paths.  Little did I know those pesky, tiny little things fly everywhere.  Coming out the door laughing, I ingested more than a mouthful.  My cleavage did as well.  I felt like I was digging out birdseed from every nook and cranny for days.  I'm sure someone has a photo or two of me spitting on the front steps of the church! 

Eight months later, I was at my grandmother's house for a visit when my ear started hurting.  It felt like a bug was inside it so I go to dancing and shaking my head around her living room.  Reaching my finger in for a scary scoop, I pulled out - you guessed it - birdseed.  8 MONTHS LATER!

4.  Peek-A-Boo

Back before the many falls and motorcycle wrecks, I had strong legs and good knees.  In one of my very first "real" jobs at the college, we were working on a project that required me to be in the floor.  Thinking back, I honestly don't know why me and the Director of Education were crawling around in this classroom.  I mean, it wasn't even to dig up files from the vault, but for some reason we were. 

I must've not known the events of the day because I was in a gingham sundress and heels.  We were facing each other with large papers or poster board on the floor.  I went to scoot back and get up when my heel caught in the back of my dress.

RRR-IIII-PPPPPPP!

I knelt there staring at my supervisor, wide-eyed and embarrassed.  His face was just as red.  I was scared to move, not knowing what damage was behind me or how much of my dress was left.  After a long dramatic pause we both started laughing.  So hard that I was afraid I'd shake the remnant of the material right off of me.  Once finally composed, I made him close his eyes AND turn around while I assessed the damage. 

Feeling like a dog chasing his tail, I spun around trying to see behind me.  With my hands I felt my way down my backside, thankful to feel material until almost my calves.  Knowing I wasn't going to moon my boss, I started laughing again and we fell back into the floor.  Later that day a stapler became my friend as I mended it well enough to get out the door and home. 

And last but not least, a story I've told before but is oh, so funny...

5.  The time I tried to ride a cow...

These laughable moments brought to you by Me.  :)

 

I surrender all...

It's been a weekend of surrender.

Honestly, surrender began at even signing up a few months back to come to Women of Joy.  I wanted to go last year. I mean, how could a joy seeker, a joy sharer like me, NOT want to go? But something held me back. I didn't really know these women. I'd only joined the church a short time and being with "strangers" a whole weekend was way out of my comfort zone.  Being an onion and a bit of a loner, it takes me awhile to warm up to someone I don't know well.  Even though I call many of these women friends now, it was still outside my comfort zone a year later.

But God whispered, "Go..."

So it was in complete surrender when I signed up in February.  I paid the registration quickly as I could, so I didn't stress or analyze the details of the unknown.

When you let go and let God, amazing things happen. 

There's so much to share about this past weekend of JOY.  My messy notes, scribbled in the dark, will be inspiration for this week's posts.  I'm pacing myself on purpose because, to do it justice, it has to be more than just one writing.

For now, I'll share a picture of the group of ladies I was blessed to share the weekend with.  Some were old friends, some fairly recent, and some were brand new faces I'm glad to now know.


at the Spaghetti Factory...when we weren't at JOY, we were eating!  :)

 You can imagine in a group this big there's stories to share.  Oh, the laughs we had! 
But of course, what happens in Louisville stays in Louisville, so for the most part that fun will have to stay tucked away in the secret vault.  After that kind of tease though, I will end laughing at myself. 
And letting you join me.

Part of being an onion meant I didn't do a lot of sleepovers.  I had one best friend and spent 1/2 my life at her house but never really went to others.  I wasn't a typical college student and didn't do the dorm life, so I've never had a roommate.  Other than having to room with co-workers on work retreats, that world is unfamiliar and scary to me.  It was the part of the trip I was most apprehensive about.

To save money, we were all sharing beds, not just rooms.  The original plan was to have four in a room, two to a bed.  I picked my bed mate early, the kindness of an offer from a relatively new but close friend at church.  Debbie has become so much more than a friend to me - a mentor, a spiritual coach... (I could write a post or two just about her friendship).  Anyway, it did somewhat relieve my anxiety that she'd be the one I'd bunk with. 

Due to a hotel mistake, we ended up two a room, one small bed.  Anxiety returned. 
(surrender, surrender, I told myself!)

It was L.A.T.E. when we finally went to bed our first night, after a midnight feeding at the Cheesecake Factory and lots of walking at JOY conference.  My legs were beyond exhausted and I felt like I was riding a bicycle with their restlessness.  Of course, I tried to softly move them, so as not to disturb my sleeping pal.  In the wee hours of the morning, all hope was lost.

Being shocked awake by massive leg cramps, I tried to jump out of the bed and stand, the only relief I knew to seek.  Debbie, being the sweet pal she is, is startled from sleep thinking I'm having nightmares.  She grabs hold of me (a somewhat funny sight when you picture her size compared to mine) and in a David vs Goliath attempt, pulls me back shouting, "It's ok, you're just having a bad dream!" 

At the same time, and unable to speak because of the pain, I'm pulling away from her, struggling with the mounds of covers, trying to get out of the bed and stand on two legs.  For probably seconds, but what felt an eternity, we did this humorous tug-o-war.  Eventually I won and stood in the small room, trying to walk enough to work it out.  Still mute from the pain, she's not giving up trying to wake me, continuing her shouts of compassion to bring me from the nightmare.

After a few stretches and old man roll-on medicine, I was able to communicate to her what happened.  Still groggy, it dawns on Debbie what just occurred and we both collapse into laughter.  For the next thirty minutes -or more!- we enjoyed belly busting, side splitting laughs.  I was actually afraid someone would call the front desk and complain. 

Though an awkward icebreaker, it was kind of hard to have any nervousness after that.  It certainly gave us both something to laugh about the entire weekend!  And it helped me at least to physically surrender to the experience!

More JOY to come this week, friends...