Where's your Focus?

My husband's simple prayer at dinner one night this week nearly brought me to my knees.

We were both struggling with back pain, though for different reasons.  I've been blessed to not really have back issues until the past month or so.  It has been one of the few parts of my body I can count on (or could!). Whether from age or changing needs at work, I come home most days lately in pain.  Tim is battling a kidney stone (ouch!) something he's been lucky to avoid for many years as well.  

As we eased down to our meal, we were both hurting but the words my husband spoke completely changed the focus.

"If it be your will, help us with this pain, though we know it is nothing compared to what your Son endured this week for us."

Lord, help me...

My temporary pain seemed so trivial compared against what Jesus suffered for my sins.  Was I really just whining about the inconvenience?  At the same time I was both upset and frustrated for Tim.  He's had a rough six months medically.  It's difficult to watch someone you love hurting, knowing there isn't much you can do to help.

When we're in the midst of troubles, it is easy to wallow around in a pity party and question why we go through the trials we do.  I know I've even tried to quantify it in the past, as if God is keeping a tally sheet and I'm somehow eligible for exemption based on a lifetime of pain and loss.

Yet, it's made me ponder since, how often do we get so wrapped up in our hurts and hangups that we have blinders to anything else?  

This world is so hectic and fast paced, even on an ordinary day we can walk right past someone in need without noticing.  But it's much more likely we miss them when we're bogged down by own issues and pains.  It's certainly hard to help someone when you're hurting yourself.

And that's just where the enemy wants us.

Friends, life is hard.  He wants you so focused on your needs that you don't have the ability to see anyone else.  Or, to be so inundated with physical and emotional needs that we have no time to dwell on the one that means the most - our spiritual health.

Facebook is flooded with prayer requests.  Every day I read stories that cause me to shake my head in disbelief.  Heartbreaking needs that pause me to pray.  We're so quick to ask for prayers on social media that sadly there are now even fake chain requests.

And I'm not saying we shouldn't pray for those hurting or in need of healing.  I believe in the power of prayer and am grateful for an extra outlet to lift those up in need.

But aside from my Lifegroup and a dear prayer partner, I rarely get requests to pray for someone's salvation.  When is the last time you saw a status update asking for prayer for someone who is lost? #prayingforsalvation

It just doesn't happen.  Maybe because we're so weighed down with the every day chaos that is life.  However, we have the power to change and shift our focus.  To lean in closer and hear the whispers of God.

When an ache presses me to move or take notice, my new hope is that it reminds me to pray for someone who is facing eternal pain.  If I feel overwhelmed from a minor issue, may it help me to refocus on what matters most.  Whatever we endure here is temporary.

Nothing - no pain on this earth - equals the void and loss that comes with not having a personal and everlasting relationship with Jesus.  

As we enter this Easter weekend, my prayer is that I'll be more burdened to notice those with the greatest need of all.  If I'm focused on One that matters most, I know He'll lead me in the right direction.

Faithful Friday: Friendship

Years ago, I prayed for a new friend.  One dependable, honest, trustworthy friend, who was not family or married to me.  A friend that didn't "have" to be my friend.  Someone who sincerely wanted to be my friend, just because.

Just one.

I didn't need a flock.  At the time, I had recently joined the world of Social Media and had hundreds of "friends" but I desired true friendship.

It was a daily prayer for so many months I cannot remember the count.

Proverbs 27:9 
The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense. 

After Austin died, dozens of friends flew into my life.  Some for only a while, in the earliest part of the tragedy, some for longer.  And though I had and treasured true friends then (and even now), my soul still searched for a friendship I couldn't quite find.

Looking back, I didn't even know then what I was praying for.  But my soul did.  And God sent her to me, in his perfect timing.

Over a year ago, my pastor suggested to a group of us to search out an accountability partner.  I'd never really ever heard the term before, though I had some expectations of what that might be.  Initially, I was very hesitant.  Though an open book when writing, sharing my personal feelings, hurts, needs, and struggles is not something I willingly do in person.

Proverbs 11:14 

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.

The only exception would be with my husband.  He has and always will be my best friend.  And yet, while we tell each other everything, there are still subjects/struggles/areas that you sometimes can't fully share.  For this reason, our pastor did not recommend using your spouse as that partner.

What if you are struggling with each other?  What if you're being stubborn in an area and need advice from an outside party?  What if sharing your weakness could result in an argument?  As easy as it would've been to just choose Tim, my heart knew I needed to prayerfully seek someone else.

One of the purposes of an accountability partner is to, just as the word indicates, hold each other accountable.  While a spouse can certainly do this, it could seem more like parenting than friendship.  And if you're spatting, having a godly reminder could just aggravate things.  Like when I'm having a bad day and I'm venting, maybe a little too loudly, and hubby gently tries to calm me.  Sometimes it makes it worse.

In the beginning, your partnership may be something as simple as checking in to see if you've kept up with your daily Bible reading.  A true accountability partner though learns and knows your weaknesses, your struggles, and prayerfully guides you to becoming a stronger Christian.  Whatever the area(s) may be, you set goals with them and they remind, push, and encourage you.  It could be something severe, like an addiction, or it could be something more spiritual, like increasing the people you talk to about Jesus.

Proverbs 27:17 

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. 

As you grow closer and get more comfortable, life filters in.  Needs of those within your family and others who are heavy on your heart become shared by the prayers of this friend.

When my friend took on this task, she might not have been prepared for the crazy chaos this life can bring.  She might not have realized the sometimes daily advice or support I might need, as storms seem to frequently come my way.  Maybe she looks at her caller ID and rolls her eyes, sighs, or wishes for a moment of peace.  If so, she never shares it, as she is always there, always willing, and most importantly always praying for me.

Proverbs 12:26 

The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.

I trust her counsel.  I know she seeks the Ultimate Source for the Truth I am seeking.  I know she doesn't give me advice just to quiet or appease me.  And I without a doubt know that when she says she'll pray about something, she will do so fervently.

She's been such an unexpected blessing to me.  From someone who stubbornly didn't want to open my world to anyone else, to someone who wouldn't know where I'd be today without her.

If you have such a friend, tell them today how much they mean to you.  If you do not, I will join you in prayer that God sends one your way.

Have a blessed Friday, friends...

The Power of Prayer

Even though the sun was shining and it was an absolutely gorgeous fall day, it was a bit gloomy.  My mind and heart were heavy, thinking about my stepdad's family.  Loss is never easy, even when age or illness somewhat prepares us for it.  And although there is sadness in his passing, there are moments of thanksgiving.  Dallas lay in ICU for nearly a week, with a grim prognosis from his strokes.  The alternative to death was not a life he would have wanted.  It's a blessing his family won't have to watch him suffer, and that he won't be trapped in a shell of who he was, especially when we know where he is now.

"Prayer may not change things for you,
but it for sure changes you for things."

That knowledge though doesn't take the hurt away.  Dallas was a husband, father, papaw, friend, and anyone who knew him feels the absence of his smiling face and positive spirit.  The only thing I know to do in loss, is to pray about it.  When there are no words to comfort, I know a prayer is the best gift I can give to others.  And asking for prayers from others for the family is such an easy request but one I know has great impact.  I've been on the receiving end of so many prayers - from friends, family and even strangers - and I know the power they have and bring.  Even when prayers seem unanswered, peace is provided.

"The greatest thing anyone can do for God or man is pray." 

Throughout the day, I've spent a lot of time both in prayer and thinking about prayers.  Prayers are my thankful reflection today.  Today, I'm thankful for prayers...from the connection it gives to God and the relationship formed, the strength it provides, the peace that comes just at needed moments. And I'm ever grateful to those willing to pause and bow their heads for my family. Words can't express the feeling to be held by prayers.

I was reminded this evening of a favorite scripture that I found and memorized several years ago. 

"Be joyful always; pray continually;

give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you." 

These verses had such meaning to me that I wrote them on an index card and hung over my sun visor.  It was shortly after my wreck, at a point where I was feeling sorry for myself.  The passage became my mantra, reminding me that I still had so much to be thankful for, despite the valley I was in at the time.  This started deeper conversations with God, as I found myself praying more in thanks and less in need.  If I was willing to accept the good in life, how could I not face the bad as well? 

Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines.

Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that we pull out when in trouble,

but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout.

Looking back I see how that period strengthened me for what was to come.  The prayerful conversations I had with God built a foundation of faith that would guide me through my darkest points.  Even when I didn't have the strength to form sentences, after losing Austin, I knew I could still lean on God.  At the points I coudln't pray for myself, the prayers from others carried me through. 

"Prayer has comforted us in sorrow and will help strengthen us for the journey ahead."

So, that's how I'll face the next few days.  Not knowing what else to offer my grieving family, I will pray.  And I'm grateful that help is always just a moment and a bowed head away.