A Year Transformed

One year later.

I told myself many times not to post this, for many reasons.  The before photo is not one I'm proud of but I'm proud of the girl who knew she was worthy enough to fight for one more time.  The after photo isn't where I wanted to be by this point but she's better and healthier than before which means the most!  

When I look at the girl on the left, there's so much that has changed.  She needs to tell her story... 

I remember that day vividly.  One more attempt...one more try.  I felt frustrated, hopeless, tired but yet - determined not to give up.  Though I avoided the camera something told me to snap a starting pic.  They say a picture is worth a thousand words and every time I look, it speaks volumes.

The girl on the left lived in daily, chronic pain.  It hurt to walk, even just across the room, often feeling like stabbing knives when attempting.  Most days, that girl had to will herself out of bed, even though it also hurt to be in bed.  Often it was hard to breathe.  Sometimes she wondered if she would die because of her weight.  That girl would look in the mirror and wonder where she went.  She lived in anger for where she was and how she'd let her body down.


 But that girl told herself this time would be different.  This time was a life-change, not a temporary quick fix or diet.  This time she went into it prayerfully, knowing she wasn't strong enough on her own. This time...she wasn't focused on a number on the scale (though she had to be reminded often) but was instead determined to change her mindset.  This time the focus was on health.  And this time she solely concentrated on nutrition. 


In the past, I tried to do it all at once.  Inevitably, if I tried to include working out my knee would soon give out and set me back, which would send me spiraling and I would give up.  So what if I only worked on nutrition?  Would it really make a difference?

One year later, I can testify without a doubt, it has!  There may be progress seen visually in the side by side but what is felt most is the difference internally.  When you eat better, you feel better!  

People ask what I did/am doing.  The short and simple...JUST EAT REAL FOOD!  Shop the perimeter of the store -or better yet the farmers market.  Fresh is best.  However, for me, eliminating sugar and processed "foods" has been life-changing.  I am no longer tempted by junk because my body knows and recognizes it for what it is.  

Was it easy?  No.  There were pitfalls and setbacks.  It took time, dedication and yes, money.  But the investment to spend a little more buying healthy food was worth the savings in health care.  Over and again.  And cutting out fast food saved us money!  Sugar was a serious addiction I didn't even realize I had.  The cravings and withdrawals were real.  But after the hurdle and fog lifted - why ever go back?  I promise fruit will taste so sweet once your body learns what it should taste like again.  Everything tastes different (better) and food becomes fuel, not a pastime.  

About six months into my journey I was hit with another obstacle, being diagnosed with Alpha-Gal.  The daily habits that were working for me now had to be paused and adjusted.  Being seriously allergic to foods caused anxiety and I was forced to make even simpler choices.  Around that time I discovered juicing (celery) and began following the advice from Medical Medium.  Again, evidence of God helping me through.

This post is for the person who is at the end of their rope.  Who has almost given up and isn't sure there is any hope for them to feel better.  Who thinks health is just for the lucky few.  You are worth the effort!

PCOS, hypothyroidism, EBV, fibro, a broken knee, extreme food allergies and a tight food budget did not prevent me from making health a priority.  I had every obstacle (and excuse) to not succeed.  And by society's standards or the scale, I'm not a success.  I'm a continual work in progress and proud of where I am today.  Health is a journey you must take one step, one day at a time.

I'm so thankful that one year ago today, I bravely took that first step.  It was the first day of the best of my life.

Be Still...and Write!

I am still over-joyed from the experience of our first ever women's retreat this past Saturday.  Event planning is my jam so when I discovered this on our church calendar this girl was all about helping!  Aside from getting a nerdy fix on all the registration details, what I loved most was the opportunity to share with women about self-care.

The overarching theme was to learn how to better "Be Still" before God and to not let the distractions and worries of this world take us over.  My session was on prayer journaling, self care, and a little of my testimony mixed in for good measure.

Self care is something I talk about with young moms on a daily basis but having the opportunity to tell how God is the best source of our care was amazing.  As I shared with them, if you aren't going to Him daily to get renewed, refreshed, and refilled, everything else is just a band-aid.

My mornings start out in a quiet spot from the center of our home.  With a steamy cup of coffee, I nestle in to dig into God's word, spend time being still before Him, and writing notes in my Bible that speak to me.  There is no outside sound or distraction, other than the birds chirping awake.  This simple act and shift from what used to be a chaotic rush of a morning has changed everything for me.

I wake up craving this time with God and it sets the course of my day.

Going through old prayer journals in preparation for the class, I had many "Wow, God!" moments.  I was reminded that often when we journal or make a note it can mean something totally different years later.  There were so many entries I would read and know - this is why I experienced that, I understand this season now, etc.  Looking back gives us the ability to see how much we've grown in our walk with God and the lessons He's taught us along the way.

Prayer journaling can be stepping stones in our faith.

How often have we whispered a prayer and moved on, not even really giving thought to the end result.  Unless it is a major prayer, sometimes recalling those answers are even difficult to do.  Recording them in a journal gives us a history to look back on.  They show you how your relationship grows with God.

Love letters to Jesus, I like to think of them as. 

If you aren't currently journaling, I encourage you to try it.  Any notebook will do but there's nothing better than a really good pen.  One that flows with ease and glides across the page.  Or, you can join the world of virtual journals and start a blog.  Even if nobody but you reads them, I promise you'll be changed by the process.

Here are a couple I found online and shared in my session.  So, now I'm sharing with you.

Easy template (see #9)

Journaling prompts

Your journal can have a theme, like finding joy or giving thanks.  It can be focused on a specific scripture, book of the Bible, or use a different scripture each day.  Or you can dedicate pages to prayers about different people or needs in your life.  The choices are endless!

Don't spend a lot of time trying to create the perfect journal, just start writing.  Your journals will change as you do.  

In the cusp of the busy holiday season approaching, a first entry might be how you hope to Be Still before God and let Him calm the crazy of this world within you.

Joyful Journaling!

Girls' Night Out

Saturday afternoon I endulged in a girls' night out with my cousin. It's something we often talk about doing but life gets in the way of scheduling time together. I'm grateful she's put these plans in motion and I've looked forward to the time away and with her all week. Having girl-centered discussions in a male heavy household will be a nice change of pace.

As wives and mothers, it's natural to always put ourselves last. We feel guilty if we spend money or time on ourselves. And we shouldn't.  Life is all about balance. To be the wife and mother, friend and co-worker, and all the many hats that us women put on ourselves, it's important to take care of "me first."  Just like the emergency instructions you receive during a flight, if you don't put the oxygen mask on yourself first, you can't help those around you later.

That's sort of what a night out with other women is like for me...a bit of oxygen.  It's a time to let your hair down and relax.  To be funny and silly and not care what anyone thinks about it.  To restore yourself from the chaos of life, a busy workweek, and household responsibilities.  And that's just what we did.  We snacked on yummy food without counting calories.  We relaxed, especially with the help of a massuse Jennifer brought in!  We relived our youth listening to songs from the 80s and remembering a simpler time.

And we learned from somewhat of an expert about girl trips.  She's been taking trips with the same group of friends for years.  There's always a "big trip" each year, followed by mini road trips and even good old fashioned pajama parties.  It made me realize that you're never too old to enjoy things like this and it's something I'd love to make routine in my life too.

The point though is that there doesn't have to be an elaborate vacation planned with a large group of friends to make time for yourself.  "Me time" can be doing anything you enjoy - but making sure it's something you schedule often.  If you have to put it on a calendar to get it done, then get out those markers.  Whether you end up writing, "shopping trip!" or "read a good book" or "get a pedicure" schedule something this month that is just for you.  Something you don't normally splurge on because YOU are important and worth the time!