One Word...SOAR

Have you ever worked on a jigsaw puzzle and found satisfaction as that last piece snaps into place? Or found yourself knee-deep in parts assembling a piece of furniture, when hours later it eventually looks somewhat like the picture on the box?  Perhaps you've planned an event that took weeks of tedious tasks and projects to result in one amazing night.

There's something pleasing when everything comes together.  Apart, it often makes no sense.

Sometimes such is life.  At times, you may not even realize the volume or impact until looking back.

Such has been my week, as I prayerfully pondered my "One Word for 2015."
A few years I began this practice, thanks to the world of blogging.  

My first word was Submit.  And through that next year I would learn the impact of Obedience, a life lesson that would take me all the way back to my wedding day when I ignorantly (and stubbornly) left out the word obey in my vows.

Last year, facing so many uncertainties with my future, after job loss, I chose Assured.  And, in so many ways, trusting Him, God provided Rest through life's storms.

Rolling those over in my mind a new word began to form.

S.O.A.R.

Submit. Obey. Assurance. Rest.

Funny how God shows you He has a plan in ALL things, huh?  In the midst of your year, the struggles, highs and lows, you often wonder what is on the other side.  Will it be worth it in the end?  Is there a purpose? 

Sometimes I question Him out loud and say, "What do you want me to see? do? learn? know?!"

In my impatience, I want answers and results NOW, not later.  Time again God shows me when I let go and just trust, He'll see me through.  And always, there are life lessons to be learned, wisdom gained and strength renewed.  

With the new year, a new daily Bible plan has begun.  One day this week found me upon a collection of some of my favorite scriptures, in Philippians 4.  Though I've read them many times, it didn't "come together" until that viewing.  The impact of how those individual scriptures have arrived for me over the years, on His timing, were now all combined.  A beautiful tapestry that showed my past and how far I've come.

Several scriptures reminded me of those I clung to after our wreck.  As I literally learned to walk again, Phil 4:13 became my battle cry.  Every time I had to drag myself out of the hospital bed, onto a walker, and down the hall, I meditated and repeated this verse.

The beginning of Philippians seemed so similar to another favorite, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.  This was one of the first scriptures I recall actually writing out and clipping to my sun visor.  I was so grateful to be driving again, so much that I was filled with joy.  I kept it there to remind me there was always a reason to Rejoice!

Phil 4:6 became a soul soother in the days, weeks and months that followed Austin's death.  My human nature could not help but worry for Noah.  At that time, we didn't know why he passed and I was so fearful for every cough or sneeze that escaped our youngest.  For the first time in my life, storms scared me.  The flu terrified me.  Terrorists threatened me.  Anything that brought the possibility of losing my now only child.  

But the peace from 4:7 came, always, when needed most.  Peace in planning the funeral and standing through those days, in the darkness and depth of grief.  Peace I couldn't understand would wrap around us and carry us through.

As I've grown in my walk with God, 4:8-9 became easier.  I no longer counted on my own strength, but of His.  I learned what a gift it was to have others pray for me (4:10) and how prayers were said even when I didn't know or ask.  How those prayers have provided healing for us these past several years!

The lessons began in our wreck to be grateful and were most certainly grounded in losing our son.  After losing a job of 16 years, Phil 4:11-12 found new meaning again.  In all circumstances, for which we've experienced so many, we have learned the secret to contentment.  It's not what you have -or don't have that matters in the end.

Which brought me right back to the beginning.  That familiar scripture that is etched on a pillow, which hangs from my front door.  That holds my checkbook.  That hangs around the neck of our towering teen.  No matter what we may face in this life, we know we can endure with the strength of Christ!

And not just endure... but SOAR.  

I've decided this is my mantra for 2015.  

My last year of thirty-somethings.  

I feel it is the year to fly...

to SOAR.

Butterfly to Eagle

My boy is sending me eagles.  By the dozens. 

In the past month, I've seen more eagles than maybe my entire life.  They're literally in the sky every time I glance up.  Every time it's like Austin is smiling down and I'm filled with a sense of peace. 
I think Austin is sending me a message that he's an eagle now.

Eagles are everywhere...and butterflies seem sparse.  Butterflies have been the way Austin's sent me signs, or hugs from above, since the beginning.  Those butterflies always come at the perfect moment and so often have almost taken my breath away at their timing.  He's even sent me butterflies in snow.

They truly have been little blessings and I'm grateful for every peek we're sent from Heaven.  Especially with losing a child, what you want and yearn for most is just to see them again.  To know they're ok.  To hug them.  Those butterflies have been my hello hug from my sweet boy and lifts my spirits with every flutter of their wings.

I miss not seeing them as much but I'm awestruck at his new way of waving to me.  I say that but then he sent me both at the same time today.  As I'm looking up at a majestic eagle soaring in the sky, I glance down just in time to catch a glimpse of yellow...a happy little butterfly.  I laughed out loud and said, "Yes, Austin, I see you!  And I love & miss you too!"

It's fitting he's sending me eagles now.  His class just graduated...next month would've been his 18th birthday.  Strong, carefree, protecting, peaceful, Heavenward.

Faithful Friday: Never Alone

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged,

for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

I'm praying this scripture for my youngest today. 

Noah's been through so much.  At only twelve, he's suffered too many trials and losses for his young life.  The most difficult has been the past three and half years in coping with the death of his big brother, Austin.

Through it all he's been amazingly strong, more than anything I think to protect Mom & Dad.  He puts on such a brave face but Momma sees the pain in his eyes.  Tonight though he will need tremendous strength and courage. 

Tonight, my baby will walk the graduation line to accept the diploma for his brother.

Our family has faced (and survived) so many moments through this journey that we didn't fathom being able to.  As I shared with him this week, while he was making the decision, it is only because of God we've had the strength needed for each point along the way. 

Worried whether he'de be strong enough to sit through the ceremony and walk across the stage, I reminded him that God is always with him.  And that He sends a peace we can't understand at just the right moments.  I shared that we'd be praying without ceasing in the stands - and I know many of you, my faithful readers - and friends - will join us in prayer.

I'm so proud of the young man he has become, taking every little bit of good of that was Austin and mixing it with his sweet, funny personality. 

Noah tried on the cap and gown on Thursday and sent me this picture.  I can tell from his loving smile that he's honored to be doing this for his "Bubba" - and I know without a doubt that Austin is beyond proud of  who he is and what he's doing tonight in memory of him.

Never would we have imagined this is how we'd spend Austin's high graduation.  Celebrating his memory instead of this milestone...

We're hugged though by the knowledge so many of his friends wanted Austin remembered and present in some way at graduation.  So many of them have reached out to me this week - with memories of Austin, showing airbrushed caps with his initials, offering to walk with Noah in the line.

And we're grateful Noah is able to share this moment with the classmates Austin so dearly loved.  Fitting that he himself graduated on Tuesday.  A 6th grade graduate, he'll move on to middle school next year.   No more a little beaver, he is now an Eagle. 

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

I'm the proud mom of two eagles now. 

One, just earning his wings and learning to fly.

And one....soaring with the angels.