Day 13: Summer Mornings

Noah and I realized we're just about a month away from the beginning of school.  And while he is counting down the days, excited to be a Junior, see his friends and teachers, and get back into routine; I'm digging in my heels just a bit.

My summer mornings are a joy, when I take the effort to get up and savor the me time.  But also a joy on the rare occasion I can sleep in a bit, due to my flexing schedule.

On a morning I can linger, I love to nestle into my chair with a steaming cup of coffee and wake up slowly with the world.  The only slow of school days is the time it takes to get my son stirring.  He is such a heavy sleeper and not a morning person.

A few years ago when we replaced our windows, the installers were in disbelief that he slept through the noise.  They were even in his room!  It was a running joke with the workers that if his bed had been small enough, they would've set it outside so he could wake up under the trees.

In the summer, I have nobody but myself to get ready so I can take my time and there is no need to yell out the clock status every 10 minutes.  Although admittedly, sometimes I do need an internal push to move on to the next station.

Most mornings I'll also toss together a smoothie, something new for me as for years I never felt there was time for breakfast.  This is a quick, easy and healthy way for me to start my day with a belly full of nutrition.  If there's time, I'll catch some Good Morning America, about the only news show I enjoy because they seem to focus more on the positive than negative.

And I'll end with a devotion in my car.

Might seem a weird place to do so but there's a few reasons I have this habit.  Currently I'm doing a devotion workbook that asks for a pause at morning, noon and night to read, reflect and write.  I find it easier to stay consistent if it is in my car.  After almost 20 years of commuting and now in a position with lots of windshield time, some of my best talks and worship moments with God come in the car.

So if you see a woman passionately singing, crying, or deep in thought and not waving back, that would be why!

Are you a morning person?  What's your favorite way to start the day?

Day 10: Joy comes in the Morning

It's a somber day in our community, as we're collectively grieving the loss of another life cut short too soon.  A young mother, my age, taken by cancer.  And yesterday, multiple lives taken in a crash on a road we drive each and every day.

Death on the heels of a nation still reeling from unnecessary violence and innocent lives taken in the line of duty.

A weeping world in which we live.

In loss that doesn't make sense, it can seem difficult to know what to say or do.  Sometimes there aren't words to express or convey to cover the pain.

I've been on the stinging side of pain and know that sometimes words are the worst things someone can share.  When you've been forced to say goodbye too soon, some phrases bring the opposite of comfort.

"Everything happens for a reason"

or

"They're in a better place"

or 

"God needed another angel"

or

"God doesn't give us more than we can handle.

Because in great loss, you don't care what the reasons were.  And sometimes, often, life gives us more than we can handle.

I remember shortly after Austin passed I came across the scripture from Psalm 30:5 and how it angered me.  At the time, joy seemed impossible.  Forbidden even.  In the depths of my pain I couldn't imagine how joy would ever be in my world again.  Joy in the morning, when all I felt was darkness...

The first time I laughed after, almost by accident, as it escaped out of my mouth before I could stop it.  I paused, quickly drew a breath back in, unsure what would happen next.  But I don't recall the second time laughter came.  Or the next.  Slowly, joy just began to seep back into our lives.

This morning we went to the place where Joy is always flowing, our church.

Six years ago, God stirred within me the desire to seek joy.  He sent me on a journey to not just find it, but share that joy with others.  And in doing so, he's given me purpose through the pain.  He's taught me that weeping does endure but eventually joy returns.

Joy comes in the morning, even if it is on the other side of eternity.

After church we returned home to huddle close, hibernate and hug those we love most.  Though we'd had tentative plans and even invitations to leave, staying home just felt necessary today.  We shared a big family meal and lingered a few hours at the table playing cards.  By games end, we were laughing so hard we're not even sure who won.  But it didn't matter.

For a moment, all was right in this world.  We were happy, healthy and together.  For this momma, that always brings me joy.

Prayers of peace that passes understanding for all those hurting tonight.  And in the days to come.

Faithful Friday: JOY

Joy wasn't something I thought we'd ever feel in December again, much less the other 11 months of the year.  When our world turned upside down, after the loss of our son, joy seemed impossible.

I remember seeing the scripture, "Joy comes in the morning," shortly after Austin's death and almost feeling anger at the thought.  In the depths of our grief, the idea of ever waking up to joy wasn't something I could comprehend.

But great loss doesn't always have to be the reason joy escapes our lives.  Sometimes, some seasons, joy just seems hard to find.  For whatever the reason, morning after morning, joy doesn't come.

As the days grow shorter and colder, finances tighter, and stresses increase, depression can peak.  If this sounds more like what you are facing now, friend, my prayer is that joy will find you this Christmas.

For me, it did come in the morning, just not right away.  Nearly two years after, in the wee hours, well before the sun arose, a stirring brought me out of bed.  God nudged me to the computer to write, my release, and told me I had to choose joy.

This blog, my life's challenge, began.

Has it always been easy?  Absolutely not.
Are there days joy is hard to find.  Sometimes.
Did it erase all the pain and hurt?  No, but it helped to soothe it.

With each day, each effort to search is out, the challenge became less and less.
Until eventually, joy was just there.  Here.  Everywhere.

Through this journey I've learned that joy is not the same as happiness.  Something doesn't need to happen, for joy to be.  It is more an internal radiance that, no matter what is going on around you, still exists.

"Joy seems to me a step beyond happiness -- happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in sometimes, 

when you're lucky. Joy is a light that fills you with hope and faith and love."

Saint Adela Rogers Johns

Joy comes from gratitude.  Having a thankful heart increases joy.  It is a focus on what you have, not what you haven't.  There's a statistic that says those who track their gratitude are happier by 25%. More joy just from being thankful?  Yes, please.

And true joy, for me, comes from God.

A fruit of the spirit.  Joy is something that stirs and grows within us from Him.  As we walk closer with Him, our joy tank overflows and spills out to those around us.  Joy shared is joy doubled!

My challenge to you for the rest of this season, is to seek JOY.

Search it out.

Find it in the small, every day moments.

Live in gratitude.  Count your blessings.

Connect with God.  Pray.

And soon, one morning, joy will come.