New 'Do, New Attitude!

Noah had a lot more excitement than I did this morning.  6 am was a hard reality to face, especially after being spoiled from a lazy two weeks off.  I couldn't pull myself out of the warm flannel sheets until about 6:20.  On my way to wake up Noah I was startled to find his light already on.

When I walked into his room, I found him not only up but fully dressed.  He said, "Good morning, Mom.  I'm all ready except my teeth and hair."  I rubbed my eyes thinking I must be dreaming.  Last night was restless, as I tossed and turned not yet ready to face the first workday of the year.  But no, it was really him and he was really awake.  Before me.  And ready.

Now, I must lay a little ground work here about how much Noah likes to sleep for you to understand why I'd be startled.  When I say I was "lazy" on Christmas break it was because I stayed in my PJ's all day.  Most days I was up well before 8 am though and only took the occasional nap.  Noah on the other hand, stayed up past midnight and would sleep past noon, or however late I allowed.  He didn't get up until I woke him up.  He's always been a sleeper and most mornings it is usually a struggle to get him up, dressed, and out of the house for school.

Today, he was nearly bouncing off the walls.  And to top it off, he was excited about fixing his hair.  In the past, this was one of our biggest challenges.  He was blessed with a headfull of curls and cursed with a little OCD.  To get his hair to lay just the way he wanted was nearly impossible.  Over the break, I treated him to an early Christmas present and let him get it chemically straightened.  (My present has come back to me tenfold in how easy it is to fix his hair now!)


before



 

after

He has enjoyed shocking and surprising family and friends over the break with how much the hair makeover has changed his looks.  People have walked past him in the stores, not recognizing him.  He was most excited though about showing off his new look at school.  When he called me on the way home to give his daily update, I didn't even have time to ask.  He chuckled as he retold how one teacher didn't know who he was, another thought he was a new student, and all the comments he received.

It's been a  little tough taking in his new appearance because just by straightening his hair, he aged three or four years.  My baby with the cute curls has disappeared and in his place, a pre-teen growing by the minute.  I'm still not sure I am ready to give in to the fact that he's not my little boy anymore but it has made it somewhat easier seeing his happiness.  Who knew a hairdo could bring such joy to a ten-going on 11-looking like he's 13-year old boy?!

Resolutions

A new year.  New chances.  Opportunity.  Hope.  Promise.  A clean slate.  The beginning.  Page one. 

 

I wonder how many dreams and wishes are made on this first day of the year.  So many of us resolve to make things better...to lose weight, strengthen relationships, better our career.  When I did a search for the top New Year's Resolutions, I noticed that the top and majority were "me" centered.  I wonder though what changes could take place in this world if we moved those choices to be God centered?

 
I'm all about self improvement, but through many failed resolutions in my past, I know that the only true way I can be better is when I let God have control.  One of my favorite lines in the latest Narnia movie was, "No matter how hard I tried I couldn't do it by myself."  And isn't that true?  Strong as we think we are, and stubborn as I know I am, we are nothing without Him.

Last year, my hope for 2010 was to bring more joy and happiness into our lives.  I sought it out and joy found us time and again.  But being at the place to open myself up to that, at the painful point we were, was only achieved through prayer.  In the times I felt my weakest, I realize looking back, was among my strongest only because I was on my knees.  I couldn't heal our family.  I couldn't overcome the grief.  But God could.  He pulled us through.  And I realized that losing Austin is something we'll never "get over" but instead we go through each day just getting through it.  We reach each tomorrow because He is holding our hand every step of the way.

And so for any resolutions I prayerfully choose this year, my hope is that God is the center of them.  The "me" I want to improve is no longer based on the physical but instead on the spiritual.  For at the end of my life here, it really won't matter what size jeans I wore, how nice my house looked, or if my closets stayed organized.  The only resolution I really need to make at all is to pray more and to give up all control, with a trust that He will guide me where he wants me to be.