Saturday, January 1, 2011


A new year.  New chances.  Opportunity.  Hope.  Promise.  A clean slate.  The beginning.  Page one. 
I wonder how many dreams and wishes are made on this first day of the year.  So many of us resolve to make things lose weight, strengthen relationships, better our career.  When I did a search for the top New Year's Resolutions, I noticed that the top and majority were "me" centered.  I wonder though what changes could take place in this world if we moved those choices to be God centered?
I'm all about self improvement, but through many failed resolutions in my past, I know that the only true way I can be better is when I let God have control.  One of my favorite lines in the latest Narnia movie was, "No matter how hard I tried I couldn't do it by myself."  And isn't that true?  Strong as we think we are, and stubborn as I know I am, we are nothing without Him.

Last year, my hope for 2010 was to bring more joy and happiness into our lives.  I sought it out and joy found us time and again.  But being at the place to open myself up to that, at the painful point we were, was only achieved through prayer.  In the times I felt my weakest, I realize looking back, was among my strongest only because I was on my knees.  I couldn't heal our family.  I couldn't overcome the grief.  But God could.  He pulled us through.  And I realized that losing Austin is something we'll never "get over" but instead we go through each day just getting through it.  We reach each tomorrow because He is holding our hand every step of the way.

And so for any resolutions I prayerfully choose this year, my hope is that God is the center of them.  The "me" I want to improve is no longer based on the physical but instead on the spiritual.  For at the end of my life here, it really won't matter what size jeans I wore, how nice my house looked, or if my closets stayed organized.  The only resolution I really need to make at all is to pray more and to give up all control, with a trust that He will guide me where he wants me to be.


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