Thankfulness

Last year, I challenged myself to use my status message on Facebook to share things I was thankful for, nearly the whole month of November.  I think it's a good thing for everyone to do, to pause more than one day in the year to remember and appreciate all we've been given.  I'll admit it had another purpose though, as focusing on all my blessings distracted me from the date on the calendar when we would face our first Thanksgiving without Austin, and then the first anniversary of our loss days later.

It's very much the same reason I started this blog.  What I can share with someone who's new in their grief from child loss is that sadly the pain never goes away; it doesn't get easier.  Time doesn't heal all wounds, rather it's what you do with the time that helps heal you.  Nearly two years later, there are days that are just as hard as the beginning.  What helps, more than anything, is holding tight to your faith and focusing on the positive.  I can look at this journey as "23 months, 3 weeks, and 3 days" without Austin...or nearly two years closer to being with him for an eternity.  Life here is but a moment compared the endless time we'll all be together again.  While here, I feel like it's my duty to God, and to Austin, to make the most of every moment...to live life fully...and to find and appreciate the JOY in every day.

So, this will be the "theme" of my blog this week....thankfulness.  Even amid times of pain and sadness, there are always moments to appreciate, celebrate and be grateful for.  I will continue to challenge myself to see the silver linings, especially in the coming week.

Today, I'm thankful for vacation....for a job that allows me to take time off to be with family during the holidays.  Between vacation time, our office being closed for Thanksgiving, and personal days I will take next week, I'm off until December.  Having this time allows me to plan, prepare, and cook for family this Thanksgiving without having to rush or stress over it.  The weekend will allow us to spend quality family time as we decorate for the holidays and hopefully finish our shopping.  And next week allows me time to remember my sweet boy and the blessings he brought his 14 years with us, and even the inspiration and love he still sends.