I'd Ruther go to Druther's

After twenty-plus years of Father's days, it becomes difficult to do something new.  This dad, in particular, doesn't wear a tie.  The key to my hubby's heart is food so we normally will cook him some type of feast.  The past couple of years, having a chef-to-be in the house, Noah has cooked his Father's Day meal.

This year though, we wanted to surprise him with a road trip.  And we were successful.

A heat wave rolled in just in time for the weekend but it actually helped our surprise.  Our church has three services and we normally attend the latest because we Sunday is about our only day of the week to linger and sleep in a bit.  But that weekend, I mentioned to Tim that it might be best to go to the first before the church got hot.  Ever the flexible fella, he agreed.

Little did he know, it made our plans easier to kidnap and escape after service!

He figured something was up because Noah rode to church with us when he usually drives himself.  (Guess it isn't cool to ride up with the parental units!)   All joking aside, he often picks up a friend or two.  But this day, he drove us.  We just mentioned that we might grab a bite to eat after when he questioned it.

Once church was over, Noah entered an address on his GPS and we set out for our adventure.  As we turned an out-of-the-ordinary way on the parkway, Tim was confused.

"Where are ya'll taking me?"  he laughed.  And then he realized why I asked if he needed to pee before we left church.

We giggled and told him to settle in for a long drive.  About thirty minutes in, Tim acted like he knew where we were going but I knew there wasn't any way he would.

Just as he was about to burst -from anticipation and the need to relieve himself, we entered the parking lot.

"Hey, it's a Druthers!" he said, surprised because there's only one left in the world.  And then it dawned on him we weren't just making a pit stop, this was our destination.


Just a fast food dive to most people, Druthers had a cult following back in the day.  It began as a Burger Queen and was a popular place in the 70s and early 80s.  And it was where my hubby got his first job.

Still in High School, he'd walk the block or two after classes and work until close.  In our area, we haven't one open in over thirty years.  We knew this one still existed just a couple hours away and had been on our bucket list but hadn't got around to visiting.  Father's Day seemed like the perfect time to check it off.

Thanks to the cheap prices they still offer, we were able to offer a buffet-style sampling for Tim to take a culinary trip down memory lane.  Noah matched him bite for bite and they were both belly-busting full by the time we left.  Tim happily snored half the way home so I'd count it as a successful surprise.

   

 

I was just grateful for another year to celebrate.  Last Father's Day was a scary one, Tim just recently released from the hospital.  He's had a rough couple years health-wise with no real answers.  And to a momma who lost her son to an "unknown virus" to say anxiety and fears have been high, would be an understatement.  Watching them in the car on the way up, I was reminded of last year's attempt of an outing.  We made it to the restaurant before Tim had a breathing attack and became too ill to enjoy the day.

2017

So much changes year to year...and I'm thankful for the blessings we've been given.  

Life is short and precious, no matter how many days you have with loved ones.

2018

Dad's Day Delimmas

After the month Tim's had, I wanted him to have a good Father's Day.  Not knowing how he'd feel though made planning difficult.  And, being that we couldn't do his favorite outing - fishing, it left us wondering how to make it special.

We set out Saturday for lunch and a movie, figuring both were indoors and cool so not to aggravate his breathing.  But about 10 minutes into the meal, Tim quickly deflated.  Actually, he later admitted that he wasn't feeling well when he awoke but he didn't want to disappoint us so he pushed through, hoping it would pass.  Stubborn man...

Once home, we got him tucked into bed and worked on making the most of Sunday for him.  It further put a kink in our plans because, as a side effect to the numerous meds they've pumped into Tim, he now has thrush.

Poor guy.

Father's Day is hard enough.  Every day is difficult when you've lost a child but a holiday dedicated to reminding you about being a parent adds to the sting.  Not that we'll ever forget Austin - or want to - but I usually try and plan things centered around what he loves most, in hopes to somewhat distract from the pain of the day.

When you take away fishing, fun and food from my guy, there isn't a lot left to make him smile.

But his baby boy stepped up big this weekend and helped Tim feel extra loved.  And the best part is, he did it on his own.  Sometimes I forget how grown up he has become.

Having his Dad in the hospital was tough on Noah and I think the timing of the holiday allowed him to share how much he really means to him.  When we returned home from church, Tim found a note and photo collage that brought tears to both of our eyes.

While his dad was napping, Noah set to prepping the feast he'd shopped on his own for.  My spice master had to tone down his plans a bit, taking into account Tim's tender mouth.  But, as always, our chef in the making did not disappoint.  (those ribs...that sauce!  Man, I'm hungry now)

As you can see from Tim's expression he was well-pleased.
And that was before he even tasted!

     

After dinner, when Tim starting hinting for dessert, Noah left to get his favorite shake, extra soothing in his recovery.  He came in with more than a frosty cup though and shocked his Dad even more.

We'd heard Tim mention a new pole the store got in stock and knew it was on his wish list. After losing a pole to the "one that got away" earlier this year, he was tickled to have a high tech version with an bite alarm.  Both Noah and I got a chuckle at him dream fishing from his recliner.  He held on to the pole until time to leave for work!

In the end, I think he had a Father's Day to remember and felt how loved and treasured he is to both of us.  Now to just get him well and back on the boat!

Faithful Friday: Father's Day Reflections

Yesterday, I passed a lady with a broken windshield.  I cried the rest of the way home.

Unexpected washes of emotions passed over me, a mixture of sadness, in missing Austin, and gratefulness, in knowing how much we've healed the past five years.

Early in our grief, I wrote that our family was like a cracked windshield. It still functions; and to an unknown observer may look the same, even normal.  But, through the eyes of the family, there are pieces, fragments of what once remained.  You can't do anything without seeing and feeling the loss.  At points you feel as if your family is floating, forever paused in the pain and chaos, and yet everyone else goes on.

The windshield yesterday was severely damaged with huge cracks and fractures all across it.  For so long I remember how we felt that way, even though we managed to still function most days.  People would comment about how strong we were, but they didn't see the pain that ravaged us on the inside.

Slowly, as time progressed, we began to heal.
One by one.  Day by Day.

But just like a tiny chip in a windshield, it didn't take much pressure for us to break again.  Our family has replaced the "protective glass" many times during this grief journey.

Or rather, God has....

There was a point in the depths of our grief I felt the view above 

was all I'd ever see again.  I prayed without ceasing for my family, especially my husband.

Losing Austin changed all of us - forever - but I worried most about the changes in Tim.  There were days the loss was quite visible on him, as I'd watch the grief jacket cling to his body.  It was a part of him, something he couldn't remove and the cloud followed everywhere he went.

I prayed for our marriage, for the light in his eyes to return.  I prayed for his relationship with Noah, as I sometimes felt Tim distancing himself, surely afraid and counting Noah's every breath.  I begged God to return the Dad he was and the one I knew he could be...

Being a father was something Tim was made for, as every quality a Dad could have God gave him. Years and years ago, I prayed for a husband but I was blessed with a father beyond my dreams for my boys.

Austin was wrapped around Tim's finger from the very beginning.  

And a great big piece of his heart went to Heaven when our son passed.

While that void will never be filled, Tim still manages to be an amazing, loving father.  Both to our son, Noah, and even to our niece, Tina.  And he keeps getting better and better, growing more with time, as he furthers and deepens his walk with God.

There's so much love in his heart.  He's the funny Dad who makes you laugh, sometimes because of what he says and often because of what he does.  He's a busy Dad, the kind that never likes to sit around. So the kids get to explore, learn, and do with him.  He's the Dad who would give you anything and everything, like his time - or the last piece of pie.  He's the kind of Dad that has many "don't tell Mom" stories.  He’s a rough and tumble Dad, who loves nothing more than to wrestle in the floor or chase you around the yard.  

But most of all, He’s a man-of-God Dad, who shows his kids that being strong isn’t in how tall you stand but how often you kneel.

He's the kind of Dad you'll always look up too, even after you've grown taller than him.

And he's the kind of father that leads by example 

and makes memories in every day moments.

He's all kinds of everything good in a father and most certainly

 a one of a kind Dad.

Lifting prayers up for a peaceful, pain free Father's Day weekend for Tim.

One filled with fishing, food, and family.

He's earned it.

Faithful Friday: Father's Day

Father's Day and our anniversary are always close together.  The mingling of those two occasions cause an overflow of emotions for me.  Maybe more so this year, as we are on the cusp of our 20th anniversary.

One of the things I love most about Tim is the father he is.  From the very beginning, I knew he would make an excellent dad.  Kids gravitate to him and he just has this natural quality, an ease for parenting.  He's still very much a kid at heart himself so that's probably why they relate to each other so well!

Tim wanted children from the very beginning and, although I was taking preventive measures, he was beyond thrilled to learn of my unexpected pregnancy, just 3 1/2 months after our wedding.  I can picture his excitement and see the expression on his face, as if it were yesterday, when he raced into the bathroom and learned of the surprise.

Austin held Tim's heart from before he was ever born.  They had an unimaginable bond.  Austin was his little shadow, always wanting to be just like dad.  Inseparable best friends.  I know this is why the holiday becomes so emotional for me.  My heart just breaks because I know how much Tim hurts and how he misses his first born. 

Tim's love is just as strong though for our baby, Noah, who is now towering over his dad.  Unlike the surprise of having Austin, we'd tried for years to have another baby.  When we'd almost given up hope, he arrived.  With both boys, they came in God's timing.  And Noah got in his share of surprise as well, as we thought we were bringing home a Hannah Grace!

There's a picture collage on our wall that says, "Anyone can be a father...but it takes someone special to be a Dad!"  How true this is for Tim.  As a Dad, he has always been there for the boys, never hesitating to help take care of them and actually finding joy in the every day tasks of parenting.  He loved nothing more than to get down in the floor with them.  Even today I have to shoot a cautious glance to Noah, if they wrestle, for fear he'll hurt his back.  And Tim's been there for every milestone, each ballgame, and all the little life moments in between.

He's taught our boys selflessness, having a servant's heart, helping others, patience, resilience, laughter despite storms, and most of all a love for God.  It's always been his desire that his children would be strong Christians, faithful to follow God. 

The father of godly children has cause for joy.
What a pleasure to have children who are wise. Proverbs 23:24

Yet one of the most beautiful examples of the kind of father Tim is comes from him welcoming Tina into our home with open arms.  He never wavered, complained, or gave it a second thought to rearrange our life and bring in a little girl who needed a family to love her.  He's grown so close to her in the past two years she's been here and without a doubt I know he thinks of her like his daughter.  Tim's protective of her, firm but caring, and has given Tina the most consistent example of what a loving husband/father should be that she's ever had. 

I thank God daily for this man.  As as child I dreamed of who my prince would someday be.  Never could I have imagined what a wonderful spouse He'd send.  How lucky I am to share my life and parent alongside him.  Happy Father's Day to the best Dad I know!

Faithful Friday: A Father's Love

I'm taking you back to previous posts, this Father's Day weekend.  Mostly because it's after 5:00 on Friday and I don't want to miss writing another Faithful Friday.  Also because these posts do a pretty good job of summing up all that Tim, my husband, is as a Dad.  (And what a blessing he is!)

Sorry for the blog-hopping.  Consider it a road trip, down our memory lane, from the comfort of your computer.  Happy Father's Day...

For Father's Day... - from Tim's first moments as a father...to heartbreaking loss...to the loving and playful relationship Noah and Tim have now

A Father's Love - the bond that Tim and Austin had

A Private Island - a special trip Tim planned for Noah

Daddy's Boy - Noah and Tim, healing together

A Father's Love Letter

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is Will you be my child? John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Father

For Father's Day

Today is Father's Day.  I imagine this holiday is hard on Tim, as I know the assault of emotions that come over me on Mother's Day.  I started my day in prayer for him, have continued prayers throughout the day, and will end it the same way. 

When you have children in two worlds, days like today are beyond difficult.  You miss and long for the child that has passed on, but you also treasure and love the one who remains.  Your soul feels torn, wavering between the two.

What I know for sure, is that I could not have picked a better father for my children.  In the nearly 17 years that Tim has been a Dad, I've continually been amazed at his unselfish love and devotion to his boys.

Of course, Austin was our first.  I know that makes today even harder for him.  I'll share a post from Austin's blog about how we learned of our pregnancy. 
How it all began...

But of course, Austin said it best about his Dad with this -
In Austin's words...

All that doesn't overshadow the wonderful relationship Tim also has with Noah.  Our "little" eleven year old now nearly looks Tim in the eye, with shoulders broadly stretching to reach the same frame as his Dad's.  Noah takes after Tim in so many other ways as well, especially their personalities.  Neither has ever met a stranger and both will talk your ears off (whether you want them to or not)! 

I love to watch them banter and pick each other, shoot hoops together, fight about who caught the biggest fish, and the sweetest of all - when Noah still seeks to snuggle on his Dad's strong arm.  From birth, that has been his safe spot.  Whether he awoke from a nightmare, was sick, or just needed some Dad time, that crook in Tim's arm, between his shoulder and elbow, was the only pillow Noah needed to drift off into dreamland.  I hope Noah never outgrows this, at least in knowing his Dad is always there for him, with loving support and open arms.

Happy Father's Day to the best possible "Dad" I could have have chosen for my children.  God truly blessed me with Tim.