Friday, April 13, 2012

Faithful Friday: Trusting Him

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths. - Proverbs 3:5-6

It's hard for me trust.  This inability is perhaps one of my greatest weaknesses, as a person and a Christian.  Trust, for me, comes with time.  Personally, it must be "proved" and shown in actions over and over again.  If I'm let down or hurt, it's difficult for me to try again.  As a Christian, trust is a struggle, especially when you question things as much as I do. 

Do you ever wonder why bad things happen to good people? Why disaster strikes some and not others? Why people who seem healthy get sick?   I do, even though I know I shouldn't.  Maybe it's human nature.  Maybe it's just my personality. 

I wonder if I drove my Mom crazy with questions as a child?  Constantly, I was curious about how things worked, why things happened, and sought to learn as much as possible.  As a mother, those questions were welcomed by children, most of the time.  When they were little, it was a glimpse into their world.  As if they were a human sponge, with each question - and then answer, I could almost see their brain soaking it up.  I loved teaching them new things and letting them explore and grow. 

Yet, I can also remember being annoyed with questions, especially when they didn't seem necessary or when an explanation wasn't needed or available.  "But Why?" can tug at any parent's nerves.  And I wonder if that is sometimes how God feels with us.  Some things aren't meant for us to know - or understand.  As his children, it's just our responsibility to TRUST that he knows what is best.  I don't believe that God causes all bad things that happen, but I do believe he always has a hand in them.  If only to use the circumstance for good, whether to use it so that we lean on him more or to lead others to him, they are opportunities for spiritual growth. 

Today's scripture has been on my mind for many reasons this week.  I've learned that dear friends and close family members may be facing cancer.  Even though I work in that field - Cancer - is an ugly and scary word.  It makes you hold your breath, waiting for what is to come.  Personally, there's some decisions I'm wavering in and find I'm depending more on myself than God for the answers.  And there are other family members on my heart, some who are struggling with their own faith.  As someone who has been down that road, the deepest departure with the loss of Austin, I feel their pain.  I know what it is to doubt, to question, to wonder and even to anger at life's decisions and results.  God never promised His path would be easy but he did promise he'd be there every step. 

I'm reminded of possibly the first "favorite quote" of mine. 
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

Over the years, that quote has held many meanings for me.  But today I can see it mirrored with the scripture above.  Our path, in this life, is sometimes uncertain.  It is sometimes filled with pain.  And it often feels like the ending will never come.  Taking that step forward can be frightening, especially if we feel we are alone.  But no journey in this life is truly taken in a single step because God is always walking right beside us.  No matter what you are facing today, he is there to walk with you, to guide you, and to support you through it all.  But it is only when you willingly give up your own expectations or demands and give the reigns to Him that those steps become less burdensome.
I think of it like this...I will walk any path in this life, no matter how many mountains to climb over or valleys to come out of, because I trust where it ends.  Though the next corner may be unseen and uncertain, I trust where this journey leads.  My trust in Him lets me know this is my path HOME, and because of that, it is worth every single step.


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