My Thanksgiving Wish

Maybe it is pressing the invisible brake on time, as we're days out from our first college tour with our baby boy.

Maybe it is the numbness from the horrifying news of the bus crash in Tennessee, on the cusp of this holiday weekend.

Maybe it is that this weekend holds horrible, terrible memories of our own in losing our firstborn the night after Thanksgiving.

Maybe it is sharing in the pain of loved ones facing the chaos and sorrows of life.  Unexpected upside downs.

Or maybe, it is the mixture of it all.  All the melancholy, on the heels on "the most wonderful time of year".  Whatever, it has me extra grateful for time off, a slowing down for the season.  Welcomed relief and rest, space for self-care.  Retreating and staying in with the ones who mean most.  Serving others and giving thanks.  Coffee and board games.  Random acts of kindness.  PJs and pie.  Family dinners.  Fireplace and Christmas movies.  Kitchen messes.  Macy's parade.  Christmas tree scents and sparkles.  Laughter and tears.  Memories and mementos.

Unplugging and reconnecting.

And so I'll leave you all with this, my wish for each and every one of you.
Be kind to yourself - and kinder to others.  Seek gratitude.  Embrace and treasure the day, whatever it brings.  Prayers it is filled with goodness...

 

Thankful-Eve

Feet up, a glowing moon out the back window, and the scents of Thanksgiving drifting from the kitchen.

Oh, what a grateful heart I have tonight.

Tomorrow will begin the first of many meals and house hopping this weekend.  While it will be wonderful seeing family, I can already feel the exhaustion that comes.  For now, I'm reflecting on the special moments of the day.

Life is all about which side you want to focus on...the good or the bad.

Today was filled with a mix of Busy and Bliss.  Anger and Joy.  Tired and Rested.  Frazzled and Humbled.

Our morning began tense, as Noah woke up more than a little grumpy.  He is so not a morning person, even though I let him sleep in until nearly 10:00.  An unexplained scowl appeared across his face and his answers were short and tight.

I tried asking him what was wrong but "Nothing" is all I received.  My shoulders stiffened and tears brimmed.  It would've been so easy to lash back, as his attitude was undeserved.  Instead, while slowly inhaling, I mentally forced myself to relax, pause, and hit reset.

Though I'd planned it for our last stop, I decided a trip to the food pantry was needed.  They were having a lunch fundraiser and filling our bellies before running errands seemed like a good plan.  As I prayed for our meal, the heavy emotions seemed to dissipate.  It's difficult to stay angry when you think about the families who will line up later tonight in need of food.

By the time our BBQ was gone, my boy's sparkle had returned.  We ran into the store, which I dreaded the day before a big holiday, to grab a few forgotten ingredients for new recipes we're trying.  I made it a point to smile at everyone I saw, because I know the my-feet-are-tired-and-I-still-have-so-much-to-do face.  Instead of it being a chore, the trip was pleasant and Noah and I shared lots of laughs.

Leaving the store, a lady on a mobile cart was stuck in the road.  Without hesitation, Noah curved toward her and bent down gently, "Can I help you ma'am."

Be still my momma-heart.  This boy.

He can put on a tough act but he is such a gentle giant.  When I see him willingly care for someone in need, just because, it is all I can do but squish kiss him right in the moment.

I contained myself and didn't gush over him but instead tucked it away.  My plan was to tell him later how proud I was.  However, it wasn't five minutes later he was amazing me again.

As we left the parking lot, my eye caught a man sitting on the curb, cardboard sign sharing his soul.  Noah rubbernecked as I drove past.

"Mom, he was sitting on a gas can.  He needs help."

God was already tugging at me so it took no effort to turn around.  And I barely pulled into park before he was out of the car, shaking the man's hand, sharing that beautiful smile, the love of Jesus pouring off of him.  With his own money, he filled the man's can and listened to his story.

Only 15 but such a servant's heart.

May I cling to those little nuggets in the days ahead. Thanksgiving is bittersweet for our family, as while we are thankful to be together, we're ever-mindful of the one who left us seven years ago this very weekend.

What a blessing it has been - and is - to have two sons with such sweet and giving spirits.

One who is smiling down on us and one who continues to fill me with joy each and every day.

Faithful Friday: Thanksgiving

Happy belated Thanksgiving!  Knowing the week I would have, this post was started early, something I don't normally do.  I put the finishing details on it this morning, complete with coffee and PJs.  My hope is that your bellies and hearts are full by the time this reaches you.

Our Thanksgiving day was spent serving, a fairly new tradition our family started a few years ago.  As usual, God had great things in store for this year's event.  In the midst of the organized chaos, He never ceases to amaze me how it works out perfectly.  As the drivers were dispatched, trays of turkey and dressing in hand, calls began to come in.  "Where is this street? GPS can't find it."  And unexpectedly, "I have the same list as someone else!"  -oops.

The best message though came from a driver who shared that at his last stop, the lady answered and told him someone had already been there.  (Not the duplicate list mentioned above!)  As he was about to leave, she shared that her two sons were on their way.  As it so happened, two meals were what he had left.  I double checked all the routes and the lady was only listed on his.  Most certainly a God thing!

Thanksgiving had been a particularly difficult holiday for us, as it was our last one with Austin.  As such, there's a lot of painful - and bittersweet emotions around this day.  The first Thanksgiving without him I just wanted to ignore and avoid.  It was a welcome change and a perfect fit for a family focused on RAKs in the month of November to be a part of delivering meals to those in need.

Of course, with this new tradition, I no longer cook a big meal to have family over.  Instead, we eat lunch with the volunteers that day.  In some ways I miss it, but knowing how special our last get together was, which happens to also be my most popular post, gives me comfort in how it ended.  Time changes things and God has a purpose in it all.

The week will still be peppered with family, beginning with a Wednesday meal at my niece's (so strange to see her all grown up and hosting!), a visit at my grandma's, and ending with our own little turkey meal at home.  A new-to-Tina activity will be a night at the Shriner's circus, thanks to this girl winning tickets on the radio.  We haven't gone since the boys were little.  She is super excited and I'm thrilled to share this experience with her.  An added bonus is that my mom, sister and her littles will be joining us.

Folded in will be lots of Random Acts of Kindness as we wind down to Austin's Heaven-anniversary. We've done RAKs throughout this month but tomorrow will be the big day, complete with our favorite tradition, the Reverse Shopping Spree and a new one, backpacks for foster kids.  

Though we may do better year to year, prayers are still appreciated.  Keeping our minds busy doesn't take away the tug in our hearts.

Truly though, when I think back to those first holidays after losing him, it is amazing the healing that God has brought to our family.  I remember the broken, being lost in the darkness and depth of grief, and wondering if the pieces would ever come together again.

We will never have a day that we don't miss Austin but the pain, most days, does ease over the years.  And for that I am ever-thankful to my God.  He has returned JOY to us, even in the midst of our loss.

THANKSgiving

Last year, our family chose to spend our Thanksgiving at our church, delivering meals to those who would otherwise do without.  It was, by far, one of the very best holiday experiences we've ever had. 

This year, I was blessed to lead the amazing group of volunteers who run like a well-oiled  machine.  At our busiest, it was a beautiful display of organized chaos. 

The hands and feet of Christ....giving......in thanks for the ability to serve.
God is so good.  And we are so blessed.

 

They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

Psalm 145:7

 

 

So, what's it take to deliver 315 meals to the community...

Plus serve a complete banquet to the volunteers and families afterwards?

 

400 lbs of turkey

40 bags of stuffing

1000 ounces of corn & green beans

600 cookies

a small fort of cardboard boxes

20+ drivers

at least 200 miles of routes

dozens of tables, hundreds of chairs

enough volunteers to fill the space of our sanctuary in a giant circle

and an endless supply of smiles, passion, service and Christian love!

 

Even with all that, I am certain I'm leaving quite a bit out.

God filled in all the gaps.

 

Seeing this event beginning to end was such an awesome sight. 

Thankful, beyond words, to serve alongside these willing servants.

 

Wishing you a JOYous and blessed Thanksgiving!

Faithful Friday: Thanksgiving Begins

Happy Thanksgiving!

No, not the turkey-laden national holiday...but true thanksgiving.
Being thankful for one's blessings.  For me, it is more than a day, as I choose to reflect on thanksgiving the entire month of November.  In all truth, I try to live every single day like this.

Webster defines thanks·giv·ing  [ thàngks gívving ]  as this:

• : a prayer that expresses thanks to God

I knew I liked that Webster guy...

So on this November 1st, I start my thankful journey and random acts of kindness done in memory of Austin.  If you're new to this blog, you can catch up here as to the "why" behind this project.

Want to JOYn in? 

You can start small.  Simply dedicate your social media to thanksgiving.  Each day post something you are thankful for.  30 days of thanks.

Stumped on what to choose?  Ann Voskamp does a beautiful job here.  She even takes it a step further and chooses three things a day.

Even more?  Add random acts of kindness.  Search my blog for ideas of things we've done in the past, or Pinterest.  Good stuff there.  You can do it in memory of our sweet boy, or someone you love, or just because.  Send us some extra hugs on November 29 by messaging me some of your acts.  It's how we choose to remember Austin and what helps us get through the anniversary of losing him.

For today, I'm thankful for...being thankful.  For being in a place where I can see the good within the bad.  For the healing time - and God - brings.  For the month of November, though laced with painful memories, and the opportunity it gives to pause in thanksgiving and to share the love of God with others.

What are you thankful for today?

Faithful Friday: Thanksgiving

Coffee and PJs...a roaring fire...Macy's Parade on the TV...turkey roasting in the oven.  Such has been our Thanksgiving morning for about as long as I can remember.  But yesterday that changed into what I hope can become an annual tradition for us.

We swapped all of that homey comfort to get up and out early.  To give back.

To make a difference...

Our church cooks a Thanksgiving meal for those who would otherwise do without, or have to work on the holiday.  My family was blessed to be able to help in the deliveries.

We were actually giddy with excitement the night before and throughout the morning.  We opted to drive both our vehicles, to make room for the food trays we'd be delivering.  Having an extra spot in my car, we brought along another kid from the youth group who wanted to help.

Routes in hand, the scent of Thanksgiving drifting through the car, we headed out on a mission.  Our first few stops were at businesses, bringing lunch to those who had to work.  Many of them were surprised and that tickled the boys, as they placed meals into their hands.

They were both so well mannered, saying "God Bless You" to each person and wishing them a Happy Thanksgiving - and it was sincere.  After each stop, they'd talk about the smiles or thankful faces and how good it felt to do this. 

Our route led us to an apartment complex and on into a more rural area of our county.  In most cases, they were single, often elderly women, possibly widows.  It was a wake-up call for the kids that not everyone has a family on the holidays and how many needs are right in our backyards.  On our drive we would mention things we might pray for about individuals we had met.  For all of us, it was a reminder of how much we each have to be thankful for.

The church sent us with two extra meals, just in case.  I told the boys to pray that God would lead us to whomever might need them most.  On one of the stops, Noah noticed a little girl in a far corner of the room.  From my position at the door, I had not seen her, but as we walked away he said, "Mom, I think we need to go back and offer another meal."  After he explained, we went to the car and got one of the extras, knocking for a second time at the door.  The lady was so grateful, saying that she didn't want to impose, but that her granddaughter would love it.  Hugging Noah on the way back, I thanked him for being observant and could tell he was touched through helping.

All meals delivered, we took the longer route back to the church, as we had one container left.  The boys were looking at businesses we passed, hoping to find someone working. From the backseat, Alex shouted, "How about that gas station?" and we pulled in, seeing one worker.  Perfect.  As Noah stepped out, he realized it was someone we knew, a former neighbor.  The man was shocked and very thankful for the timely hot meal.

"The service you are offering helps God’s people with their needs,

 but that is not all it does. It is also bringing more and more thanks to God."

- 2 Corinthians 9:12

We returned and gathered as a church, and a family, sharing stories of our visits. Much like any other family, kids clustered together to play ball or hangout.  Adults remained busy getting our food together, for those who worked, and anyone who wanted to join us for a group meal.  We filled the old sanctuary, prayed, and feasted on an enormous potluck.  

Though the kids were happy playing "Thunder & Lightning" outside, we coaxed them home to greedily get in a nap before going to my sister's for another meal.

  

Though tired, Tim and I spent some time talking about the experience.  We found ourselves mentioning it throughout the day, and then again last night at the close of our day. We were just so grateful to have spent the better part of it giving back, and it blessed us beyond our expectations.

This holiday is rough one for our family, as it was our last with Austin.  We tiptoe through this season, never knowing when painful memories will attack.  And even though tears fell in missing our sweet boy, we know Austin was very much a part of the day.  Having the heart of a volunteer, I'm certain he was smiling down and watching over every mile.

The pain from losing him never leaves, but helping others was such a healing way to spend this Thanksgiving.  And what we plan to do every one to come.

#blessed