Blessings Abound

In a month filled with painful memories, November can be difficult for our family to face.  For many years, just turning the page on the calendar brought forth tears and anxieties, as we relived the painful night of losing our son all over again. 

We've learned to face the month in gratitude instead of grief.  

Focusing on what Austin was known and loved for, his kind heart, encouraged us to do random acts of kindness and a RAK movement was born.  For the past decade, RAKs have grown from one day to an entire month focused on sharing kindness.  And from more than just our small family but to friends and even strangers helping others and remembering a life cut short by tragedy.

Our RAK project this November has been to produce yard signs in hopes of canvasing our county with the message of sharing kindness.  The money raised will go to local charities.

As I turned the calendar tonight, noticing the scripture and special dates, I had to pause in pure thanksgiving of the many blessings God has given us recently.  This November seems a turning point of many positive changes for our family.  Changes we have prayed fervently for and, in His timing, will take place this month.

Tim and I both start new careers this month. 

For the past few years, Tim's health has suffered and we've spent many sleepless nights without answers as to why.  While I stood in prayer and belief that God would lead us in the right direction, in the meantime we did what we could to improve our well-being.  Both of us have transformed and are in better shape than we've been for some time!

This summer, God led us to a doctor who has provided excellent care and solutions to the many symptoms from which Tim was suffering.  Complications from our wreck became the common denominator in his issues and, while there is no cure for what he's facing, we have managed to minimize and reduce them with his help. 

Then news came for an opportunity for Tim to have a new career which allowed more flexibility, better hours, less physical demands, and to leave third shift.  This girl is giddy to have him back home at night!  The only downside was losing medical...

Enter my job offer.  Just two weeks after Tim begins his.

With every twist and turn, each mountain and valley, God has seen us through beyond our expectations and has provided in ways we never imagined.

Neither of us saw a career change at this point in our lives.  When we turned the calendar last January, we knew this would be a milestone year, but expected to prepare for becoming empty nesters.  Settling into expected routines.

Instead, we are facing the new year with different and exciting paths and... the surprise added blessing of becoming grandparents! 

In fact, this month, we may well know if Baby Blair will be a boy or a girl.

God is good.  All the time...

Thanksgiving JOY

Christmas seems to start earlier every year.  While stores are focused on sales and quick to replace pumpkins with pine trees, people also appear to be yearning for the season a little sooner.  Maybe because Christmas is a favorite holiday of many, but maybe also because people need more joy.

On the road, the hodgepodge of the holidays hits you with each passing mile.  Ghosts, pumpkins, harvest wreaths, inflattable Santas and giant penguins are scattered from house to house.

Thanksgiving, a celebration of gratitude for our blessings, has nearly been replaced by the countdown to the ultimate shopping day.  Families no longer linger over pie and coffee but are out the door and off to the mall, while the dishes soak.

When I was a little girl, the wait for Christmas seemed unending.  Now that I'm older, time passes much more quickly.  One can sit and almost watch it slip away.  No matter how much you will it to slow, there is no stopping the ticking of the clock or ending of another day.

It's already the middle of November.  

The busyness of the holidays are among us and, before you know it, another year will be gone. 

Choosing to pause in gratitude is how I welcome the season.  Focusing on thanksgiving each day keeps me from getting swept up in the chaos that can become christmas.

Recognizing my blessings is the best tradition I can think of to celebrate the birth of my Savior.

Because, to me, Thanksgiving isn't just a day - not even just a month -but something I hope to encompass every day of the year.

Gratitude = JOY 

In the search for the perfect season, slowing down in Thanksgiving might just be the unexpected gift people are looking for - and one that can never be found in the store.

Psalm 100

A psalm. For giving grateful praise.

Shout for JOY to the Lord, all the earth.

Worship the Lord with gladness;

    come before him with joyful songs.

Know that the Lord is God.

    It is he who made us, and we are his[a];

    we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with Thanksgiving

    and his courts with praise;

    give thanks to him and praise his name.

For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;

    his faithfulness continues through all generations.

THANKS-giving comes

We lost Austin eight years ago, Thanksgiving weekend.  As such, November is a bittersweet time, filled with emotions and memories, some of which we'd rather forget.  Instead of focusing on the pain of the season though, we lean hard into the kindness and gratitude that comes with the turning of the calendar.

The year after he passed, I challenged myself to post something I was thankful for every single day of November.  As the days drew closer to the 29th, I questioned whether or not I would be able to post something positive when my heart was still shattered.  Once accomplished, it forever changed me; because it was proof that despite the circumstances life may send your way, there is always, always something to be grateful for.  

Aside from posting gratitude in each day, we also use this month to do Random Acts of Kindness in Austin's memory.  It has grown from doing it only on the 29th, to celebrating kindness all month, to truly having a heart for it all year.  

Noah shared with me a couple weeks ago that the past several times he's stopped into a local fast food joint, someone has paid it forward to him.  And while he admitted he sometimes gets surprised in the moment and forgets to continue the trend in that line, he makes sure to send anonymous kindness in other ways to keep it going.  Or sometimes he starts the movement.  I can't even begin to tell you how that made my heart swell.  

When we began doing RAKs, I was hesitant in including Noah, unsure if it would cause him more pain than good.  Instead, it helped bring healing to us all in a way I could've never imagined and became a family event we actually look forward to.  Helping others, bringing a smile to someone's face in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, is a far better way to spend that anniversary, than reliving the horror of losing our boy.

Austin had such a servant's heart, I can only imagine how happy it would make him to see us doing RAKs in his memory.  This time of year, he would already be asking to stock up on supplies so we could make treats for every person he knew - from mailman, to bus driver, to every school employee he came in contact with.  And the legacy he left behind for his friends is one that helped others.  A Christmas box remains wrapped in our living room, filled with notes from classmates who shared just that - how he made small differences with big impact every single day.

He's been on my mind a lot lately, probably the timing of the year, combined with the constant news of the World Series.  I haven't really watched baseball on tv, since he's been gone, but we have this season.  So many times, sitting on the edge of my seat, I could envision him pacing the floor, enthusiastically yelling, freaking out if we'd changed the channel, and celebrating the win.  How I miss that contagious smile and personality!

Losing a child is daily reality of how fragile life is, how much every day matters - what a gift it is, and hoping they are remembered in some way.  My prayer is that we make him proud this time of year - and always.

Grateful & Kind

Maybe it is because I'm getting older but time seems be passing so quickly lately.  I can sit and almost watch it slip away.  And no matter how much you will it to slow, there is no stopping the ticking of the clock or ending of another day.

It's already the middle of November.  

The busyness of the holidays will be among us and, before you know it, another year gone.  

Pausing to be thankful is how I spend this month.  Not just on Thanksgiving but every day of the month.  I started practicing this the year after losing my son.  It was impossible to imagine the holidays without him so this exercise helped me focus on the good that still remained.  I've continued doing it because truly it's how I try to live every single day.

Gratitude = Joy.  This I have learned.

This November has me standing on my head at times searching for joy.  In what is the most difficult of months for us, we've endured some extra heartache.  Watching those you love suffering is one of the deepest pains, especially when there's nothing you can do to fix it.

In the midst of it, I'm aware that Satan would love nothing more than for this girl to stop.  Cease sharing.  To end the finding of joy.  But that just makes me want to do it more.

Since I was a child, if you told me I couldn't achieve something, it just fueled me to prove you wrong.  Of course, in this case, I know there's a bigger power on my side.  And through Him, I can do all things...most especially find JOY!

Yesterday I hear it was World Kindness Day and then I see devastating news for Paris.  In a much bigger scale, it magnifies that sometimes there is nothing you can do in the chaos and pain, except keep moving forward.  PRAY.

And not stop.

Our annual RAK project is approaching.  I prefer focusing on the day of my son's death with a positive, because how else can you celebrate such an anniversary.  Instead of dwelling on something we can't change, we remember our son and the way he lived his life - helping others.  Doing random acts of kindness is a small way to keep his sweet spirit with us on the day we miss him most.

November 29, if you'd like to join us.  Although I encourage you to do a RAK whenever it feels right, whether in November, December - or even July!

Here are some of my favorite RAK moments from the past, if you'd like to read...

Hidden Shopping Spree

Free Drinks

Love in a Shoebox

Kindness Collected

Backpacks

Last year was the first year we received messages after our reverse shopping spree.  

Six years may have passed but I was having an especially rough weekend remembering.

These came at just the needed moments.  Hugs from above...

If you do a RAK in memory of Austin, we love hearing about them.  

Just add to the comments below.

An Attitude of Gratitude

Every November, I think to myself, "I won't participate in the gratitude challenge online this year. People probably get tired of reading those statuses.  Maybe I'm turning someone away from gratitude?" Yet, every year I do.

Kind of hard to see it as failing though when there's focus on the good each day!
Truly, I can't help myself.

No matter the circumstances, no matter the trials, there is always something to be thankful for.

But this attitude isn't just how my Novembers are spent, it is how I live my life.

Thanksgiving is not just a day, 

or even an month for me, 

but how I try to live every single moment.

There's research that shows people who express gratitude on a regular basis are happier.  I like to say the more thankful you are, the more JOY that comes into your life.  You appreciate the little things more.  See more silver linings.  And that makes every day brighter.

Go ahead, give it a try.  

In this very moment, what are you grateful for?  Think about it, dwell on what it is.

And......smile.

You're welcome.

Here's a few of mine so far this month.

Thankful for an impromptu family day full of 

laziness, snacks, movies, laughs and littles!

Today, I'm grateful for a job that allows me to make a difference in the lives of new families every day. They bless me each and every week. I'm thankful for new opportunities, a career change, and continued learning.

 ‪#‎thankful‬ to live in such a beautiful county and to be on the road this time of year.

 ‪#‎Grateful‬ for a cousin's night out. My first best friend. We don't spend enough time with each other, life gets busy and in the way. But I'm ‪#‎thankful‬ for opportunities like tonight to reconnect. Giggle. And have a sleepover.

Thankful my boy is stocking his momma's freezer! 

Will be even more excited for a batch of his famous ‪#‎deer‬ chili! 

And grateful for a wonderful dad who spends time with his son.

Thankful in every moment...

Grief to Thankfulness

During October I participated in a photo challenge.  30 days of capturing the grief of child loss. Though it is something I live with daily, it was fascinating to see it visually.  To focus on a topic and a picture to describe my feelings each day.  Purposefully, I didn't really look ahead or think about what I would write each day; instead, I lived in the moment.  Capturing photos from where I stood in the day.  Where grief found me at various points of the day.

Goosebump hug - "23"1 posts on this last day

As I looked back this morning through my collection, a collage of grief, 

something stood out.  

Healing.  Truth.  Joy.  Life.  

For so long, in the darkness of grief, 

I didn't know that any of those would ever exist again.  

Below is Day 29.

Day 29: Reflect #captureyourgrief
All day I've thought "how can I sum up the past six years of #childloss in an Instagram post?" Impossible.
But driving home I saw this tree and turned around to capture a photo. It spoke to me about grief.
Ugly/beautiful. Gradual. Slow, like that of the seasons. Change. Death and yet, life.
After taking it, I looked down and noticed the arrow. Moving forward. Looking ahead. Hope. #joy. And it's all a cycle. Yes, if a paragraph can sum it up this tree inspired that reflection... #whathealsyourheart

The project actually went through 31 days.  The final day we were to capture a sunset.  Day 31, Halloween, found me knee deep in trunks of candy.  Organized chaos.  The scent of chocolate.  An array of costumed kiddos.  And sleet.  Seriously, sub-zero temperatures and just as we began to set up - freezing rain!  We pushed through and, although very chilly, it was a beautiful night.  Even in the weather, over 700 kiddos came through within an hour and a half.

Needless to say, I didn't have an opportunity to capture a sunset.  (Or post for Faithful Friday.) Honestly, I don't know if a sunset was even visible.  But here are some photos of my last night of October.  A sweet ending.

A panoramic view of the start of the night - Trunk or Treat @ EHBC

Our trunk - Monopoly
and the cutest "Mr & Mrs Moneybags" ever!

Now...we are in November.  A bittersweet month.  

A month of memories, our lasts with Austin.  Remembering the pain, the nightmare.  But also, absorbing the gratitude.  A month of thankfulness.  

For what was... and what is...and what will be.

Instant Gratification

I think people either love or hate the thankful posts that November brings to social media.  Some complain that perhaps it seems insincere, that one should be thankful all year long, and whatever other reasons it annoys them.  But I like it. 
At least for one month out of the year there is a little more positive than negative in my news feed.


Only 34% of Americans say they are truly happy but statistics show that keeping a gratitude list has direct and immediate benefits.  "They" also say that November is the most depressing month of the year, or at least when depression spikes.  People who practice gratitude are 25% happier.  All those stats simply put, count your blessings.  It helps make the not so good moments better.

I believe this.  And I truly live it. 

That's what this blog is all about.  Finding JOY even in the midst of pain, of grief, of the chaos life brings.  Because it is everywhere.  No matter the trial, we always, always have blessings.

For the past several Novembers I've participated in this act of sharing a thankful thought each day.  Some years I planned out what I would share, not wanting someone or something to be left out.  This year I decided to follow the inspiration of beginning this blog and to live in the moment.  To be thankful each day for what that day brings.  To be in the now....

We're only on day 5 and I can't wait to see what God does this month.
I hope you'll join me. 

Faithful Friday: Thanksgiving Begins

Happy Thanksgiving!

No, not the turkey-laden national holiday...but true thanksgiving.
Being thankful for one's blessings.  For me, it is more than a day, as I choose to reflect on thanksgiving the entire month of November.  In all truth, I try to live every single day like this.

Webster defines thanks·giv·ing  [ thàngks gívving ]  as this:

• : a prayer that expresses thanks to God

I knew I liked that Webster guy...

So on this November 1st, I start my thankful journey and random acts of kindness done in memory of Austin.  If you're new to this blog, you can catch up here as to the "why" behind this project.

Want to JOYn in? 

You can start small.  Simply dedicate your social media to thanksgiving.  Each day post something you are thankful for.  30 days of thanks.

Stumped on what to choose?  Ann Voskamp does a beautiful job here.  She even takes it a step further and chooses three things a day.

Even more?  Add random acts of kindness.  Search my blog for ideas of things we've done in the past, or Pinterest.  Good stuff there.  You can do it in memory of our sweet boy, or someone you love, or just because.  Send us some extra hugs on November 29 by messaging me some of your acts.  It's how we choose to remember Austin and what helps us get through the anniversary of losing him.

For today, I'm thankful for...being thankful.  For being in a place where I can see the good within the bad.  For the healing time - and God - brings.  For the month of November, though laced with painful memories, and the opportunity it gives to pause in thanksgiving and to share the love of God with others.

What are you thankful for today?

A Month of Thanksgiving

If you followed this blog last November, you know what the month is for us - a mix of emotions ranging from deep mourning and loss to blessed thankfulness.

November 29 wasn't ever a date I expected to have such significance.  Days after Thanksgiving, it was normally such a happy time for our family.  Now, it is a day laced with painful memories of losing our 14 year old son, Austin.  In fact, the entire month seems somewhat like a countdown to that horrible night.

It's been nearly four years and what we've learned along the way is to focus on the positive.  Remembering what we're thankful for and how much we're blessed, despite this great loss, is how we've survived.  But more than that, it is the launch of the Random Acts of Kindness we do in memory of Austin.

Last year's post explains it more for those of you who are new.  And a recap of the beautiful acts done for Austin here.  And one of my favorite activities last year we're making an annual tradition.  So many wonderful stories of how this simple act of helping others helped us heal.... 
(you can search "acts of kindness" to read more).

As I've done for the past two years, I'll dedicate my Facebook status to something I'm thankful for each day.  This blog will also be focused on thankfulness and we'll sprinkle in stories of the acts of kindness being done.  I hope you'll join us.

Today I'm thankful for... a month dedicated to remembering my son, Austin. 

For the blessed memories...for the 14 years God let us borrow him...

for the random acts of kindness we now do in his memory.

This post is linked up with:

Thankful Thursday Link-up

A Life of Thanksgiving

Reflecting back on this month of thankfulness and acts of kindness today with a heart of gratitude.  Reading over each post from November (hey I managed to write every day!), I'm filled with a mixture of emotions.  Even though I was eager to start the project on the first day of November, I didn't know if I'd be able to keep it up the closer it drew to Austin's angel-versary.

All I can say is that through prayer (the many prayers of others) and a special helper above, I made it through the most difficult part of the year.  But I didn't just get through the days, I lived them with purpose, hope and even joy.  Of course there were tears, painful moments, and days lined in sorrow from the grief I still have, and always will face, but I expected it.  Pausing to be thankful or giving an act of kindness, even on those tough days, made the difference.

It's fairly obvious that an act of kindness would have that effect.  Giving feels good but it's more than that - kindness comes back to you.  Being kind is such a wonderful way to live, though not always easy.  One of the quotes I found while researching this month was from Mother Teresa and it expresses how I strive to live, though I often fail.

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile."

I believe what made such a change in my attitude this month though was to pause and be thankful every day.  Surviving the wreck and child loss has more than taught me to appreciate the little things, to stop and see the sunrise, to be grateful for every moment, but some days I allow "life" to take over, to rush me, to overwhelm.  Purposefully noticing, almost meditating over moments of thankfulness changes you.  I focused on what was important to me, who I treasured, and I prayerfully gave gratitude for each and everyvthing.

Thanksgiving isn't just a day - not even just a month -

but something I hope to encompass every day of the year. 

"Grace isn't a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal.
It's a way to live."

Today I'm thankful that my blessings fill more than 30 days in November.

No matter how difficult life is, there is always something to be thankful for.

JOY is everywhere, if you just look for it!