Supportive Spouse

I've never doubted that God brought Tim into my life for a purpose.  Much like our feet connect in just the right spot while sleeping, we fit together.  Where I lack a skill, he possesses it and where he needs strength in an area, I have it.  We are a puzzle of two pieces.

Yet, just because I know he has gifts that I may not, it doesn't excuse me from wanting to do and be better.  Very often, his strength in an area helps me see where I need to up my game.  Or rather, it helps convict me of something I should work to improve.

Previous posts have shared his selflessness.  It's perhaps one of my favorite and most admired traits of Tim.  Recently, in dealing with the news of my tick disease diagnosis, I've realized how little he complains.  Or maybe how much I do.

Sometimes I don't think of it as a complaint, just conversation.  But it dawned on me the other day, as he caught the brunt of my venting, he rarely does this with me. 

Now, I can tell by a quick glance how he's feeling, even if he doesn't share.  For the past week, he's had a kink in his neck but has not muttered one negative word about it.  Catching him readjust or grimacing silently, without asking, I'll begin applying oils to help ease his pain.  And if I feel something is emotionally bothering him, I'll bug him enough that he'll either share or get aggravated by the multiple questions.

I, on the other hand, give a detailed listing of anything bothering me at any given moment.  At least to Tim.  He really never has to guess about how I'm feeling -unless he's made me mad and I am giving him the silent treatment!

Saturday he planned a date night, sensing I needed some pampering from my stressful week.  It wasn't anything elaborate but quality time always fills my love tank.  After an evening of seafood and shoe shopping, I was one joyful girl. 

And though I may not always show it or thank him for the many ways he shows me he cares, I do count my blessings daily for God giving me this man.

When I come home to an empty sink or laundry basket.  As a text comes through with a sweet note from him, just because.  When he comes up behind me with a hug and a kiss.  Because he stops on the side of the road to pick my favorite flower.  When he listens to my grumbling without saying a word or even a sigh.  On the weekends, as he fixes my coffee first.  Every time he rubs my feet, willingly and lovingly.  As I go to bed to find it neatly made before he left for work. 

And a dozen other simple ways he says "I love you" every single day.  I am truly grateful to have him in my life!

Day 9: Joy of Cooking

I would argue with Mr. Gary Chapman that food is the sixth love language.

Or at least the act of cooking for someone.  One could debate that it falls under "Acts of Service" but I think a made from scratch meal says a bigger love you than folding socks or taking out the trash.

I've always enjoyed being in the kitchen preparing a special meal for those I love.  It brings me joy to see people eating a favorite treat or dinner.  And I love nothing more than to make a huge meal for the family to share together.  The dishes afterward...not so much.

Big meals are something I've missed the past year or so.  With changes in our family and a teen who works nights, Sunday suppers are sometimes the only chance during the week I get the opportunity to cook for us.  And I've had to relearn how to plan weeknight meals, since it is just usually Tim and me.

It's taken me back to our early married days, although I'm a little more seasoned in the kitchen this time around.

I remember those early days of pulling out cookbooks and learning to create meals I'd hoped would become Tim's favorite.  What I quickly discovered is that a good ole' country boy didn't want quiche or rack of lamb.  Simple suppers were what made my man happy.  Frequent calls to momma and Tim's dad, during the brief time he lived with us, taught me more about country cooking than any cookbook did.

It didn't take the love of cookbooks (or learning new meals) away though.  My counter top is lined with dusty, grease-spattered, bunny-eared books.  Over the years I've taught Tim that macaroni and cheese isn't a vegetable and broccoli won't kill him.

But I do know when to open the country cupboard.

Since Tim has been traveling the past couple weeks and living off hotel food, I thought a nice home-cooked meal might bring a smile to his face.  In writing out the grocery list this morning, I asked him what he'd like for dinner.  To my surprise, he quickly belted out a request.

And even though it was 100 degrees in the shade, I was happy to heat up the kitchen for him.

Wondering what was for dinner?

Well, it was kraut and sausage stewed together.  And buttery mashed potatoes light as a feather.

Rich and creamy macaroni and cheese.  With a steamin' cup of brown beans, if you please.

Yum. Yum.

Noah, knowing the plans but tossing pies, sent me a text request for all leftovers to be brought down and shared.  I pulled out my finest Tupperware of butter bowls and yogurt containers for Tim to deliver.  He later sent a thank you that every bowl was licked clean and the crew wanted an invite to our next meal.

As much as I enjoy cooking for others, I'm also touched when someone repays the favor.  This morning I awoke to breakfast being cooked by hubby.  He was even disappointed that I made it out of the bedroom before he had time to bring it to me.  It was an unexpected and sweet way to start my day, belly full of joy.

Faitful Friday: Love Lifted Me

I started writing this post yesterday.  Little did I know, the scripture that came to me would have a somewhat humorous (and painful) meaning today.

On my way in to work, I decided to stop and buy a loaf of bread and cinnamon butter for my co-workers.  Life was all sunshine and roses, as I left with a smile on face, eager to love on these new-found friends a bit and - wham!  I hit the sidewalk.

A bit stunned, confused, and sore (ouch!), I tried to gather myself, minus a shoe, and hop up before anyone noticed.  Alas, I was too slow, as a kind couple was immediately by my side, who minutes before were enjoying a Valentine's breakfast together.  I'm sure they didn't expect the show that took place when my foot caught in the door rug and I face planted in a crumpled mess in front of my truck.

Although I was a bit embarrassed, it was touching how much they cared for me.  The lady tried to dust me off, the man went to retrieve new bread and climb under the truck for my keys, and the shop manager was also there to roll up the rug and roll out a string of heartfelt apologies.  As I eased into my truck, they sent wishes of a better day.  I left in tears but it wasn't just from my stinging knees, it was for the love they all freely shared in lifting me up.

“Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor: 

If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”  Ecclesiastes 4:9

My original post was about gifts and I'd planned to share some of the most thoughtful (and unexpected ones) from Valentine's past.  But I don't think that was God's plan for my message and the tiny - yet eventful trip - I took this morning was validation.

Flowers and Chocolate seem to be the focus of this holiday, and while they are nice, gifts don't fully show love.  Unless of course that is your love language, but Tim and I both know that is not the case for either of us.  His is physical touch, mine quality time.  We do both appreciate gifts but would rather have them come unexpectedly, not because of a date on a calendar.

And while acts of service aren't high on either of our lists, I will admit that when someone helps me it does make me feel loved.  When someone lifts me up -physically or spiritually, it matters to me.  I remember it and tuck it away, as it shows me they care.

There are several people on my heart today who are hurting, some who are single, some who are not.  But my hope and prayer for them is that no matter what they are going through, they know there is always, always someone who loves them. 

God loves you no matter what. 

And the gift of His love can't be bought in any Hallmark store or delivered by a florist.  His gift is free to anyone and everyone.  All the time.   Every moment of every day.

Father, please shower my friends with your love today.  I lift up to you those who are especially hurting right now.  May the peace that only you can provide fall upon them and may they be wrapped in your loving arms.  Lord, please hug those I love today.  My hope is that through the course of this Valentine's day the warmth and comfort you give them follow them wherever they go. 

In Jesus I pray, amen.

 

 

Special thanks to new friends for sharing these uplifting pictures!

Faithful Friday: Actions & Words

The phrase "actions speak louder than words" can be hard to swallow for a writer.  I happen to think words can be pretty powerful, but I get the point.  When I hear this, I think of the person who is all talk and no action.  Someone who may be well-spoken and seems to always know what to say but never follows through.  And, I'm sure we all know someone we love who is like this too. 

Each time we're failed by them, their words seem to flow in just the right way, to say all the things we want to hear, but in the end they still can't deliver.  For someone who puts a lot of weight on promises, people like that don't sit well with me.  It kind of explains the other phrase, "I'll believe it when I see it."

Luckily, I do not have this type of relationship with my husband.  I know if he promises me something, he's committed - big or small.  And I know I can always trust him to be honest with me - good or bad.  Of course, it doesn't count when his memory fails him, like forgetting to bring home toilet paper!  Over the years, I've just learned where reminders are necessary and use them as needed.

I've been on a high all week from a small but very meaningful "action" Tim did for me.  This was, of course, Valentine's week, a time when many women pine for large bouquets of roses or boxes of chocolates.  That's not me and Tim knows that.  He knows I'd rather have fresh cut flowers than any other type; and I prefer them for no reason at all, not because a major holiday indicates a purchase.  Although I'd never turn down chocolate, I'd be just as happy knowing he waited until after the holiday to catch them 1/2 off.  He knows my love language is quality time, not gifts, and so we've had plans all month for a date this weekend.

So, that's all I expected.  Nothing more.  He'd already surprised me the week prior with a gift card on my pillow for a facial.  He gave it to me before Valentine's so I couldn't use the "no gifts" rule we'd agreed to.  Plus, he said, he wanted me to get pampered on my time, not the spa's.  (Btw...it was amazing - big brownie points he earned there!)  Because of this illegal gift, I truly expected nothing on the big day.   And on V-day, nothing came.  Just as expected.  Which, I was completely ok with.

The next morning, I walked into the kitchen to find an envelope on the table.  I have to admit I was a little grumpy sitting down, as Tim had let me sleep in, but Noah was insistent on me helping with his hair and seeing them off to school.  Since I had to get up soon anyway, I obliged.  Seeing the card on the table, I chuckled, thinking maybe Tim forgot to give it to me yesterday or was again bending the rules by not actually giving me anything on that day.  Instead, I found a sweet message (yes, there were words) but it was his actions and the thought that made it so special.

It said, "This card is late for a reason.  I love you every day, not just on Valentine's."  And I read it, admittedly teary-eyed, because it was so unexpected.  The card wouldn't have had half the impact if he'd given it hours earlier.  He planned it that way and that action meant the world to me.  I've found myself opening it, not just for the catchy tune inside, but to read again the simple but heart-felt message all week.

In the end, I'm not sure I've done a good job relating this Friday's scripture with my story but I did have a point and a purpose.  I guess in the end that one sentence, though used with words, had such meaning because I knew the truth behind them and because of the way he showed it. 

“Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth”
- 1 John 3:18

Ponder on that this week....  How can you show those you love them without words?  What actions can you do that speak volumes?

PS - If you read Tuesday's post, you may have been curious about what surprise I'd planned for Tim on Tuesday.  Honoring the no gift rule, I had a message sent to him showing him my love.

In this case, a picture speaks a thousand words.....

My Love Language

I've written posts before regarding, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.  I'll say again, if you've never read it - you're missing out.  (And really, Mr. Chapman should start giving me a referral % of his sales!)  Anyway, my love language, without a doubt, is Quality Time.  Second on my list, is Acts of Service.  Basically, if you are doing something with me or for me, I feel cared about and loved.

Being active again in community theatre has certainly helped in "filling" my love tank the past week.  With the exception of opening night (which I always request friends/family avoid), I've had loving fans in the audience for every performance.  There's just something about knowing that someone took time out of their busy life to come and see you that speaks to the heart.  The theatre could be crowded to capacity but what means the most are the seats filled with those I hold dear.

Peeking out from a crack in the door of my opening entrance, I scan the crowd each night to see who has made it.  Sometimes I know in advance who is coming but still like to know the general area they are sitting in.  Sometimes, I am surprised.  I tend to favor the surprises as they just give me an added boost of confidence and joy before entering the stage.

Last weekend, my favorite littlest niece attended, who is only three; but she sat through the entire play like a seasoned adult.  Hearing her giggle and catching glimpses of her smiling on the front row just enhanced my performance.  There's nothing better than spending time with those you love, or better yet, knowing someone is spending time on YOU! 

Among my best moments have been the extra time spent with Noah through doing this play.  Both in helping me learn my lines at home and being my lil stage hand at the show, I've thoroughly enjoyed every second spent with him.  I think he's caught the drama bug and I couldn't be happier!

In a few hours, I'll be heading to make-up for my final evening performance of "Alibis" (sniff, sniff).  While I'm certain tonight's crowd will be among the largest we've had, my eyes will only be scanning for those I know and love.  Hearing their laughter and applause will mean the most, all the way through my final show on Sunday.  I'll take away many memories from this play but through the years the ones which will remain are the snapshots in my mind of my "biggest fans" who came out to support me.

The cast of "Alibis" performed by CHP

Me as...."Sister Bella Donna" - the silent nun