Pomp and Circumstance

My baby flew the nest on Friday night.  Once an eagle, always an eagle, but no longer a high school student.

I sat with family and a few thousand friends in a packed gym watching my guy walk the line with one of his best pals.  And much to my surprise, I didn't cry.

Perhaps because that ugly cry came on Wednesday night.  Around 11pm, he headed to the senior campout, a tradition where the kids all gather at the high school, play a few pranks, and "sleep" on campus so they can pick their seat for graduation.  When the door shut, it dawned on me that morning was the last morning I would ever wake him up for class.  Cue the tears.

I'm not sure why that symbolism started the waterworks but for the next hour or so I sobbed into my pillow as the last 18 years flooded me with memories.

When you are knee-deep in diapers, everyone tells you how fast the years will go but you don't fully realize it until they are teens and you're willing time to slow down.  Yet, as much as I miss those baby days, I really enjoy the young man he's become.

The entire week has been filled with milestones.  From fretting over finals and getting texts of relief, celebratory lunches, Baccalaureate service, cap and gown pictures, Project Graduation, to hosting a house of excited boys all weekend, this momma is blessedly pooped.  And her son has to be too.  He has, after all, been up with very little sleep for four days in a row!

As such, Monday was most certainly a day of rest.  Noah and I stopped at the downtown Memorial day parade and snuck off for sushi, while hubby slept.  We were able to all gather for a quiet dinner before hitting the new week, watching the finale of "The Middle;" which was symbolically similar to what we were experiencing.  Babies leaving the nest...

It may be summer but our guy has a wonderful job and will be pulling lots of hours now that school is out.  This morning was his first day of reality.  Though I set an emergency backup alarm, this momma was proud to see that he was already up, showered, and eating cereal when I checked on him.  So, I went back to bed!

Looking back, the weekend wasn't anything like I expected but it was beautifully wonderful.  I'm so excited for what the future holds that I can't spend time being weepy or sad of him growing up on me.  He brings me such joy, no matter what stage of life we're in!

Faithful Friday: Commencement

My baby is graduating middle school - today.
In a few short months he'll be (gulp) a high-schooler.

There's so many memories this triggers and, while I try very hard to let Noah have his moments as his own, I can't help but be brought back to Austin's 8th grade graduation.  It was our last year with him.

Never would we have believed when taking this photo that 

he'd be gone from this earth six short months later.

May 30, 2008

All those future hopes and dreams...gone in an instant.

In posting this picture, I realized by the time stamp it is exactly the same date as Noah's graduation.  May 30th.  Only his six years later.

In terms of time, Noah has already surpassed his older brother.  He reached the status of outliving him this month.  Another event I never expected so soon.

And so this momma heart flutters back and forth preparing for this day.
This day for Noah....my youngest.  My baby.

My little boy who has already walked a graduation line, in memory of his brother just two Mays ago...

My sweet guy who had to grow up so much faster than we'd wanted him to.  My not so little guy who towers over both Tim and me and already looks like he should be in high school.  Funny he used to be my "ittle mouse," as I recall him stomping his foot and shouting, "My not a ittle mouse, my a big boy!"

Yes, my son, you are now a big boy.

And for this son, I have so many Big plans and dreams.  Wishes for his future.
Prayers that his time in high school will be safe, will be full of learning, will be memorable.  Hope that he will grow into the man I already see him becoming.  That his character stretches to fill his giant frame.  That he remembers all the lessons we've taught him along the way - and will continue to do.  That he looks to God for the steps of his future.

 “Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Proverbs 16:3 

There are so many milestones ahead for his high school years.  Four years...so much I want to pack into this time.  And yet, I find myself tiptoeing.  Wondering if it is ok to let go and hope...to wish....to dream?  Doubts creep in and Evil whispers.

When I find myself fluttering, I cling to the Truth I know.  

No matter the earthly wishes I had for my oldest son, his future was (and is) ultimately secure.  Austin is now safe.  He's learned all the secrets of the world.  I can only imagine the moments he's had in Heaven.  Austin is Home and in the place we all long to be someday.  He was exactly who he was meant to be and here for exactly how long God planned.  Austin fulfilled his purpose.

So that is my earnest prayer for Noah as well.

God's plan, Noah's purpose.
Whoever, wherever, whenever...as God deemed it to be from the very beginning.  

“For we are God’s workmanship, 

created in Christ Jesus to do good works, 

which God prepared in advance for us to do.”  Ephesians 2:10

  

Happy Graduation Day, my big-little guy.  We are so very proud of you, Noah.
And we're here for you for whatever the future holds...

Faithful Friday: Fly Little Bird

Graduation morning. 

Sliced, homemade strawberry bread to surprise Tina

for her special day. 

Hot coffee and my seat by the back window,

Good Morning America on the tv.  I'm only listening to the news; however, as I've noticed a tiny bird hopping across the deck.

Squatting in determination, it tries several times to flutter on top of  the outside coffee table.  Hop, Hop....Flutter....Fall.

I realize this isn't a tiny bird, but is the last of our babies learning to fly. 

Whispering a quiet yell to the kids, I call them to join me to watch and we gaze, mouths open, as the bird flutters higher and higher, then eventually across the lawn.  An unexpected, sneak peek at beautiful life.

Our little birds, from ocean blue tiny eggs... to babies... to flight.   

Heading out the door to Tina's 8th grade graduation the symbolism hit me.  Just as we'd witnessed growth in life, our own "little bird" was reaching a milestone.  Now promoted to high school, our bird is now an eagle.

 

She's grown so much these past two years.  Blossomed.
And we can't wait to see her spread her wings as a freshman, as she starts this next chapter of her life.

"God bless you and keep you,

God smile on you and gift you,

God look you full in the face

and make you prosper."

Numbers 6:24-26, MSG