Friday, September 7, 2012

Faithful Friday: Silent September

I'm rather opinionated.  If you ask me my thoughts, I will give it to you.  Sometimes, I give it without a request.  My family is usually on the receiving end of this generous and free gift.

I'm also a stewer.  If something bothers me, I sit on it.  Think about it.  Get all worked up over it.  Again and again.  And then, eventually, usually, I release whatever it is to said person.  Yes, my family is also the winning recipient of this as well.

It comes with my need to control things.  I'm an organizer by nature.  I need to know that everything and everyone is as it should be.  But I've realized the past week that this flaw only adds stress to me - and those in my path.  My mission for September is to embrace silence...and hopefully from that, serenity.

Now, I'm not expecting that I'll change overnight.  Or, that I even fully want to.  Having opinions and being organized aren't necessarily bad.  There are parts of this character trait I'll always embrace.  I just don't need to stew and worry, or get worked up on things I can't control.  Some things, you just have to give to God. 

Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper. Don’t ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise. - Philippians 4:8

I've come to this place after caring for my stubborn husband the past several days.  It isn't that he's a needy patient.  There's been no bell ringing or extra trips to get something for him.  As predicted, it's been just the opposite.  Once the severe pain subsided (and we're so thankful it mostly has), he began chomping at the bit to get out and about.

I returned to work this week, just as he became more mobile.  This was not good timing for the worry-wart wife that is me.  Would he drive too much? to soon? Have someone pull out in front of him suddenly, causing him to jerk or brace?...or worse - would he wreck?  If he ran to the store to pick up a gallon of milk (still the heaviest thing he can carry), would someone bump him in their cart?  Would he "man up" and attempt to carry multiple gallons, because this family's refrigerator always stocks a large supply.  Would he forget his meds, or forget that he'd already taken them and take another too soon?  SO. MANY. WORRIES.  Achhhhhhh!.........

Yes, these are the thoughts that have been swimming, stewing, and just generally stressing me in my head.  But this morning on my commute - aka convo with God time - I had a "come to Jesus" meeting with myself.  In the end, the only thing I can do is pray, trust in my husband (and mostly in God), and lay it His feet.  Hubby will either be still, or he will not.  He will either embrace this pause, or he will not.  He will either heal, or he will not.  But nothing I say, or stew about, will alter this.

The only thing it does is make me a generally not so friendly person.  And when I notice there isn't much JOY in the joyfulchallenge gal, it's time for a change.  Fitting that as I was pulling into the office, I heard this scripture on the radio.  Thank you, God, for reminding me that the only thoughts that deserve my time are those which are positive.


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