Winter Woes

Well, it is only a few days into the new year and I've already failed miserably on my "one word" of being selfless.  Not to excuse it but we've been hit with some winter weather and this 40-something body is feeling it.

It is SNOW fun to get older.

My body is like a weather radar, beeping in protest before the first snowflake.  I've joked with my husband he needs to suddenly inherit a beach house and the income to "winter" in Florida.  I'm only a fan of cold weather when I'm able to recline by the warm fire and color, sipping hot cocoa, safe and snug.

The past few evenings, I've come home so tired and sore from being out in the cold I haven't been able to serve anyone.  In fact, my first day back to work, I barely made it through the process of peeling layers, donning PJ's and collapsing into my chair.

When Tim awoke to get ready for his night shift, instead of finding me cooking, he caught me snoozing by the fire.  Being the sweetheart he is, he went to the kitchen and whipped up a simple supper.  As he served me, I felt pretty guilty and a failure in my quest to be less selfish.

On Fridays, I often have the day off but with the holidays I needed to go in for a few hours.  Not having to work a full shift though allowed me to sleep in.  My phone forgot however and woke me normal time.  Now, a selfless gal would've taken that opportunity to get up and surprise her hubby with a hot breakfast.  Instead I remained in the comforts of my flannel sheets and awoke later to our excited dog, a sure sign Dad was home.

As I creaked out of bed, I found him making coffee and sweeping off the steps so I wouldn't slip on my way out.  He'd even brought home new gloves, overhearing that I'd lost my others.

Perhaps this short reprieve from my resolution is to show me what it feels like to be served, so I'll be better equipped and eager to help others.  Maybe I can chalk it up as early birthday goodness, as I will be celebrating another year on Sunday.  Or, by chance, it is a lesson in humility that we can't improve ourselves overnight.  And that, just maybe, I need to stop relying so much on my self and more on God to get there.

Trudging on....some days, uphill in the snow.

One Word: Selfless

If there's one quality I admire most about my husband it is his selfless personality.  He's always been the type of guy who would give you the shirt off his back, the last piece of pie, or whatever he has that you might want or need.  No surprise he eagerly joined the volunteer fire department at 18 and has served in multiple capacities for the past 30 some odd years.

Though many might look at someone on the side of the road and think to themselves they should stop, he's one who almost always will.  If he hears of someone in need, he's there to lend a hand, giving up his day off or working through hours he should be sleeping before his night shift.  Often in his side business, he has gone on a job knowing the client couldn't afford to pay and didn't expect it.

Selfishness is a characteristic I've always struggled with.  While I enjoying serving and helping others, I am also cautious and stingy with my time, sometimes to a fault.  Though family should come first, I often calculate how help can be carved around whatever I have to spare, instead of just plunging in messy regardless of the time I have.  An introvert, I enjoy "me time" as well and look forward to unplugging and relaxing in the comfort of my home.

Perhaps it is my birth order, or growing up with sisters who took my things without asking.  Or because I'm stubborn and possess all the qualities of a Capricorn.  And maybe it is just an area that God hasn't fully polished yet, but one I feel him tugging on for me to focus this year.

Service.  Selflessness.  He is more, I am less.  Having a servant's heart.  These words and phrases have floated through my mind the past several days, as I've prayerfully considered the One Word for 2017.  I've wavered back and forth and landed on the one that encompasses all.

One can serve without fully giving, or even having the right attitude.  But truly being selfless means putting your own needs aside.  It means serving without calculation.

selfless

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adjective  self·less \ˈsel-fləs\

concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one's own; unselfish.

self-sacrificing, self-denying; considerate, compassionate, kind, noble, generous,  

ungrudging, charitable, benevolent, openhanded

While it is a word I often use to describe my husband, it is also a symbol of Jesus himself.  If my desire in my one word for the year is to become better, to improve myself, what other model should I seek?

3 In whatever you do, don’t let selfishness or pride be your guide. Be humble, and honor others more than yourselves. 4 Don’t be interested only in your own life, but care about the lives of others too.  Philippians 2:3-4

I know it won't be easy, old habits die hard.  It's only day 2 and I've already missed opportunities to serve others before myself.  But I did finish off New Year's Day in service, out my comfort zone and the warm comforts of my bed.

Our church joined hundreds of others across Kentucky by having the word of God read aloud beginning midnight NYE until the entire Bible is read.  I signed up for the late shift last night and was the last to read.  Just a few chapters to an empty parking lot but my prayer is that in an apartment or home surrounding this effort, someone will hear just the needed words in God's perfect timing.
Settling in for the night, I pondered upon the blessings of the day, in gratitude and hopes for such simple, beautiful days to fill all of 2017.

Beginning and ending in worship and prayer.  Lunch out with mom and my guys.  Visits and sweet baby snuggles.  Putting away Christmas with as much spirit as we set it out. Reflections on the past 365 days and lessons learned.  Anticipation for the ones ahead.  And dinner at home, full of tradition for the new year.

I'm ready for a year of serving others, selflessly.  And learning much along the way.

Prayers for a blessed 2017 for each of you!  If you choose a #oneword for the year, I'd love to hear it about it below.

Selfless Spouse

Sometimes I'm filled with such love for my husband, I wonder if my heart has room to contain it all.  He amazes me every single day.  And in writing this, as my thoughts jump and decide where to begin, I wonder can it even be fully expressed?

There's nothing spectacular to tell you.  No one act of superhuman greatness.  Not one story of miraculous nature.  Yet, I'm continually in awe of his selflessness, his patience, his character and his genuine love for others.

I am so very blessed to be his wife.

At the current moment, I'm listening to the calm instruction, as he shows our son how to work on the water lines.  Though our dishwasher isn't even a year old, a bit of maintenance is required today.  And instead of whipping through the issue first thing this morning, he waited to work on it with our boy.

Waited, also because he's spent his entire morning helping others.  Transporting Tina where she needed to be, picking up supplies for me, helping a co-worker's friend carry furniture, stopping at the pharmacy (on his day off) to lend a hand, and returning to the store, upon realizing the cashier gave him too much change.  Such is a typical day for my hubby.

"Right tight, left loose," he says softly from under the sink, reminding Noah not to cross-thread it as he connects a line.  Then he follows with, "And now, what would you do next?"

Tim never makes excuses for why he can't help someone.  It isn't in his nature to figure out how to get out of doing so.  Instead, he seems to search for opportunities to help others.  And he never rushes or makes them feel like he'd rather be doing something else.

"Anything worth doing is worth doing right."

He doesn't ask or even expect acknowledgement.  In fact, I would bet the thought never crosses his mind.  My husband is not one for titles and trophies.  Even his "side business," or rather hobby as I call it, he does not to make money but to help others.  Because he's not a slick businessman, but rather a selfless Jesus-man, focused not of getting ahead in this world but rather awaiting his rewards in another.

"Slow and steady always wins the race."

And I couldn't be more grateful to God that I get to share my life with him, or to have him guide and direct our kids.

Faithful Friday: Selflessness

My husband is a doer. 

He most certainly is not a sitter.  Doing so drives him crazy.  About the only time he willing does nothing is when he takes a nap.

You might recall this little tidbit of information from my posts this past summer, when dear hubby had to endure weeks of nothing but sitting due to back surgery.  That was certainly a learning experience - for us both.

So it was not much of a surprise to me when our hot water heater ceased working last weekend that he rolled up his sleeves and attempted to fix it himself.  It happened on a Sunday.  The Sunday before Christmas, which was scheduled to be a rather busy day.

Noah was showering and, as he always does, took nearly an hour.  Halfway through it, he began to holler, "there's no hot water!"  I assumed it was due to the length of his shower, not any household snafu.  As I began washing my hair in the sink a short while later though, I realized he wasn't exaggerating.  A quick and brisk rinse later, I was consulting Tim. 

By this point the kids were late for Sunday school and growing restless, so he ran them over, coming back to do a quick check.  A few peeks, tweaks and fingers crossed, we slipped into the pew just 10 minutes late to worship.  Tim hoped it was fixed. 

Knowing we were leaving directly from there to my Grandma's house, I whispered a silent prayer that we'd return to hot water.  To our dismay, late that evening, we did not. 

Tim awoke at sunrise the next morning, a Monday, but Christmas Eve nonetheless.  He needed to start early so that he could visit whatever store happened to remain open for the holidays in our little town.  It wasn't quite the way I'd planned for us to celebrate or him to spend his sole vacation day.

Several hours and a few trips later, Tim hit his easy chair just in time for dinner.  Grateful for such a selfless and loving husband, we ate our meal while watching a holiday movie, and ended the evening at church for a candlelight service.

There were no homemade donuts for breakfast.  No lazy PJ day full of board games and Christmas shows.  No baking cookies for Santa.  My kitchen was still a mess though, only tools and contents from the closet which holds the water heater replaced mixing bowls and a dusting of powder sugar.

It wasn't the Christmas Eve I had envisioned but it was still very much a gift.  I counted my blessings.  My husband was making sure on his only "free" day off that his family would have hot water all week.  He knew he'd return to work on Wednesday and didn't want us waiting until this weekend when he'd have time again to fix it. 

I realized the sacrifices Tim makes for us every day - without hesitation - and tears filled my eyes, watching my tired hubby settle in for a long winter's nap.  His selflessness is a quality I both admire and strive to have a percentage of.  It's one of the many reasons I love him so.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

- Philippians 2:4 ESV