Blessings Abound

In a month filled with painful memories, November can be difficult for our family to face.  For many years, just turning the page on the calendar brought forth tears and anxieties, as we relived the painful night of losing our son all over again. 

We've learned to face the month in gratitude instead of grief.  

Focusing on what Austin was known and loved for, his kind heart, encouraged us to do random acts of kindness and a RAK movement was born.  For the past decade, RAKs have grown from one day to an entire month focused on sharing kindness.  And from more than just our small family but to friends and even strangers helping others and remembering a life cut short by tragedy.

Our RAK project this November has been to produce yard signs in hopes of canvasing our county with the message of sharing kindness.  The money raised will go to local charities.

As I turned the calendar tonight, noticing the scripture and special dates, I had to pause in pure thanksgiving of the many blessings God has given us recently.  This November seems a turning point of many positive changes for our family.  Changes we have prayed fervently for and, in His timing, will take place this month.

Tim and I both start new careers this month. 

For the past few years, Tim's health has suffered and we've spent many sleepless nights without answers as to why.  While I stood in prayer and belief that God would lead us in the right direction, in the meantime we did what we could to improve our well-being.  Both of us have transformed and are in better shape than we've been for some time!

This summer, God led us to a doctor who has provided excellent care and solutions to the many symptoms from which Tim was suffering.  Complications from our wreck became the common denominator in his issues and, while there is no cure for what he's facing, we have managed to minimize and reduce them with his help. 

Then news came for an opportunity for Tim to have a new career which allowed more flexibility, better hours, less physical demands, and to leave third shift.  This girl is giddy to have him back home at night!  The only downside was losing medical...

Enter my job offer.  Just two weeks after Tim begins his.

With every twist and turn, each mountain and valley, God has seen us through beyond our expectations and has provided in ways we never imagined.

Neither of us saw a career change at this point in our lives.  When we turned the calendar last January, we knew this would be a milestone year, but expected to prepare for becoming empty nesters.  Settling into expected routines.

Instead, we are facing the new year with different and exciting paths and... the surprise added blessing of becoming grandparents! 

In fact, this month, we may well know if Baby Blair will be a boy or a girl.

God is good.  All the time...

THANKS-giving comes

We lost Austin eight years ago, Thanksgiving weekend.  As such, November is a bittersweet time, filled with emotions and memories, some of which we'd rather forget.  Instead of focusing on the pain of the season though, we lean hard into the kindness and gratitude that comes with the turning of the calendar.

The year after he passed, I challenged myself to post something I was thankful for every single day of November.  As the days drew closer to the 29th, I questioned whether or not I would be able to post something positive when my heart was still shattered.  Once accomplished, it forever changed me; because it was proof that despite the circumstances life may send your way, there is always, always something to be grateful for.  

Aside from posting gratitude in each day, we also use this month to do Random Acts of Kindness in Austin's memory.  It has grown from doing it only on the 29th, to celebrating kindness all month, to truly having a heart for it all year.  

Noah shared with me a couple weeks ago that the past several times he's stopped into a local fast food joint, someone has paid it forward to him.  And while he admitted he sometimes gets surprised in the moment and forgets to continue the trend in that line, he makes sure to send anonymous kindness in other ways to keep it going.  Or sometimes he starts the movement.  I can't even begin to tell you how that made my heart swell.  

When we began doing RAKs, I was hesitant in including Noah, unsure if it would cause him more pain than good.  Instead, it helped bring healing to us all in a way I could've never imagined and became a family event we actually look forward to.  Helping others, bringing a smile to someone's face in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, is a far better way to spend that anniversary, than reliving the horror of losing our boy.

Austin had such a servant's heart, I can only imagine how happy it would make him to see us doing RAKs in his memory.  This time of year, he would already be asking to stock up on supplies so we could make treats for every person he knew - from mailman, to bus driver, to every school employee he came in contact with.  And the legacy he left behind for his friends is one that helped others.  A Christmas box remains wrapped in our living room, filled with notes from classmates who shared just that - how he made small differences with big impact every single day.

He's been on my mind a lot lately, probably the timing of the year, combined with the constant news of the World Series.  I haven't really watched baseball on tv, since he's been gone, but we have this season.  So many times, sitting on the edge of my seat, I could envision him pacing the floor, enthusiastically yelling, freaking out if we'd changed the channel, and celebrating the win.  How I miss that contagious smile and personality!

Losing a child is daily reality of how fragile life is, how much every day matters - what a gift it is, and hoping they are remembered in some way.  My prayer is that we make him proud this time of year - and always.

Grateful & Kind

Maybe it is because I'm getting older but time seems be passing so quickly lately.  I can sit and almost watch it slip away.  And no matter how much you will it to slow, there is no stopping the ticking of the clock or ending of another day.

It's already the middle of November.  

The busyness of the holidays will be among us and, before you know it, another year gone.  

Pausing to be thankful is how I spend this month.  Not just on Thanksgiving but every day of the month.  I started practicing this the year after losing my son.  It was impossible to imagine the holidays without him so this exercise helped me focus on the good that still remained.  I've continued doing it because truly it's how I try to live every single day.

Gratitude = Joy.  This I have learned.

This November has me standing on my head at times searching for joy.  In what is the most difficult of months for us, we've endured some extra heartache.  Watching those you love suffering is one of the deepest pains, especially when there's nothing you can do to fix it.

In the midst of it, I'm aware that Satan would love nothing more than for this girl to stop.  Cease sharing.  To end the finding of joy.  But that just makes me want to do it more.

Since I was a child, if you told me I couldn't achieve something, it just fueled me to prove you wrong.  Of course, in this case, I know there's a bigger power on my side.  And through Him, I can do all things...most especially find JOY!

Yesterday I hear it was World Kindness Day and then I see devastating news for Paris.  In a much bigger scale, it magnifies that sometimes there is nothing you can do in the chaos and pain, except keep moving forward.  PRAY.

And not stop.

Our annual RAK project is approaching.  I prefer focusing on the day of my son's death with a positive, because how else can you celebrate such an anniversary.  Instead of dwelling on something we can't change, we remember our son and the way he lived his life - helping others.  Doing random acts of kindness is a small way to keep his sweet spirit with us on the day we miss him most.

November 29, if you'd like to join us.  Although I encourage you to do a RAK whenever it feels right, whether in November, December - or even July!

Here are some of my favorite RAK moments from the past, if you'd like to read...

Hidden Shopping Spree

Free Drinks

Love in a Shoebox

Kindness Collected

Backpacks

Last year was the first year we received messages after our reverse shopping spree.  

Six years may have passed but I was having an especially rough weekend remembering.

These came at just the needed moments.  Hugs from above...

If you do a RAK in memory of Austin, we love hearing about them.  

Just add to the comments below.

Faithful Friday: Thanksgiving

Happy belated Thanksgiving!  Knowing the week I would have, this post was started early, something I don't normally do.  I put the finishing details on it this morning, complete with coffee and PJs.  My hope is that your bellies and hearts are full by the time this reaches you.

Our Thanksgiving day was spent serving, a fairly new tradition our family started a few years ago.  As usual, God had great things in store for this year's event.  In the midst of the organized chaos, He never ceases to amaze me how it works out perfectly.  As the drivers were dispatched, trays of turkey and dressing in hand, calls began to come in.  "Where is this street? GPS can't find it."  And unexpectedly, "I have the same list as someone else!"  -oops.

The best message though came from a driver who shared that at his last stop, the lady answered and told him someone had already been there.  (Not the duplicate list mentioned above!)  As he was about to leave, she shared that her two sons were on their way.  As it so happened, two meals were what he had left.  I double checked all the routes and the lady was only listed on his.  Most certainly a God thing!

Thanksgiving had been a particularly difficult holiday for us, as it was our last one with Austin.  As such, there's a lot of painful - and bittersweet emotions around this day.  The first Thanksgiving without him I just wanted to ignore and avoid.  It was a welcome change and a perfect fit for a family focused on RAKs in the month of November to be a part of delivering meals to those in need.

Of course, with this new tradition, I no longer cook a big meal to have family over.  Instead, we eat lunch with the volunteers that day.  In some ways I miss it, but knowing how special our last get together was, which happens to also be my most popular post, gives me comfort in how it ended.  Time changes things and God has a purpose in it all.

The week will still be peppered with family, beginning with a Wednesday meal at my niece's (so strange to see her all grown up and hosting!), a visit at my grandma's, and ending with our own little turkey meal at home.  A new-to-Tina activity will be a night at the Shriner's circus, thanks to this girl winning tickets on the radio.  We haven't gone since the boys were little.  She is super excited and I'm thrilled to share this experience with her.  An added bonus is that my mom, sister and her littles will be joining us.

Folded in will be lots of Random Acts of Kindness as we wind down to Austin's Heaven-anniversary. We've done RAKs throughout this month but tomorrow will be the big day, complete with our favorite tradition, the Reverse Shopping Spree and a new one, backpacks for foster kids.  

Though we may do better year to year, prayers are still appreciated.  Keeping our minds busy doesn't take away the tug in our hearts.

Truly though, when I think back to those first holidays after losing him, it is amazing the healing that God has brought to our family.  I remember the broken, being lost in the darkness and depth of grief, and wondering if the pieces would ever come together again.

We will never have a day that we don't miss Austin but the pain, most days, does ease over the years.  And for that I am ever-thankful to my God.  He has returned JOY to us, even in the midst of our loss.

Thankful Thursday: Hodgepodge of Help

In this season of thanksgiving, this spirit of helping others in need, I bring you a hodgepodge of helping opportunities.  My collection this week may seem random but all serve a purpose.


First of all an update to Habitat.  I hear they are still in need of Saturday workers.  Below is a message from the Baptist association:

"If you would like to help with this project I encourage you to call Steve Flener and 270-256-6950 for more information.  The home is located at 728 2nd Street in Beaver Dam and they usually begin work around 9am in the morning.  This is a great opportunity to help out one of our own! So even if you only have a couple of hours on Saturday please consider helping out.  Every volunteer hour that is recorded helps the Mason's out tremendously!"

A "hug from above" update on the food pantry, in that I heard they helped 232 people last week.

Now, to other needs around us.

"Betty's Buddies" is a beautiful new program, formed in honor of a wife battling Alzheimer's.  She is currently receiving care in a nursing home and her husband noticed how many others never receive visits.  BB is a "mentoring" type program where people can sign up to be a buddy and just simply visit someone, to make them smile and give extra company.  Right now, they are doing a fruit basket campaign by partnering with IGA to provide for every nursing home member in the county.  You can give a donation as small as $5 to help ensure someone gets a smile this season.

Thanksgiving is 1 week away.  Do you know someone who is home bound and will not have a meal this holiday, perhaps a neighbor or someone you know in need?  If so, please contact me personally, as our church delivers meal on this day throughout Ohio county.

Or, perhaps you could use this as your RAK opportunity and invite them over to your home?  Or stop in and surprise them with a plate and a quick visit.

With the holidays in mind, do you know someone who is newly grieving this season?  I just had a comment from a mom who lost her dear daughter just four weeks ago.  How I remember the firsts after losing Austin.  My heart goes out to those especially who see the anniversary of their loss around the holidays.

If someone comes to your mind now, consider that as a God-nudge asking you to do something for them this season.  It doesn't have to be big.  Maybe a note on their door or in the mailbox.  Everyone gets Christmas cards but how many get a card around Thanksgiving?  Or, as you are packaging up leftovers from your dinner this week, maybe you could deliver it to a new widower, who finds it hard to eat alone this season.  The next time it snows, maybe you could surprise them with a salted and cleaned driveway?  A simple act of kindness to someone grieving can go so far to their health, happiness and healing.

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." 

Thankful Thursday: There's No Place Like Home

Home is my safety net.  The ultimate comfort zone.  A haven at the end of a long day.
Where my family is gathered will always be Home.

Through our married lives, we've lived in several houses.  From tiny apartments to country rentals to life in the suburbs.  Owning a home was a dream of ours but one that didn't come right away.  And while it wasn't my dream home, I'm grateful the wish was fulfilled.

Ours is a simple home.  No bells or whistles and in great need of refreshment and repairs but it has a roof and four walls to contain the love within.  And though it be modest, I know we are blessed to have this home, even with dated wallpaper and tears in the carpet.  Because so many do not.

Working with families who can't find adequate housing, I know the struggles.  Everyone just wants a place to call their own.  A home.

One organization helping to meet this need is Habitat for Humanity.  Our county is blessed to have an active chapter.  In fact, the ninth house is currently being built - just a hop and skip from where we live.

There are many ways you could volunteer to help with the current or future projects.  From money to sweat equity, your donations can make a difference.  They are about 100 tickets shy of completing the gun raffle.  Another need I've heard they have is feeding the volunteers while they are at the job site.  Lots of potential RAKs with this project!

For some, the thought of owning a home isn't even on their dream radar.  Just having a place to lay their head is.  Homelessness happens, even in small rural counties like ours.  But a homeless shelter is in the works.

Actually as this posts, there is a planning and zoning meeting tonight concerning the shelter.  Pray that votes go in the shelter's favor for them to move to the next step.

How else can you help?

A big need is money.  The next lofty purchase for the shelter is a fire alarm system so watch for upcoming fundraisers and support them, or donate direct below.

Checks can be made to:  Promise Home

1081 Rochester Rd, Beaver Dam

Or take to Commonwealth Community Bank. 

Other donations or questions call Angela Porter Stewart at 2561504

Supplies are also helpful.  Here is a list of their greatest needs.  They do not have to be brand new but should be gently used.  Desks and baby beds have been filled.

Promise Home is a 501(c)3 organization so donations are tax deductible

If you're reading this from the comfort of your home, consider doing a RAK or helping someone in need of housing today.

Thankful Thursday: RAK Kickoff

Faithful Fridays will be temporarily on hold for the month of November, in order to bring you something timely for the Thanksgiving season.

November is a bittersweet month for us, a time of remembering what a special gift we had in Austin, but also in reliving the horror of losing him.  As the first anniversary of his death rolled around, something difficult to celebrate even knowing where he was, our family decided to do random acts of kindness in his memory.

The next year it grew as friends and family jumped in to remember our son.  Every RAK done for Austin is a hug for our souls!

I've pondered this year on how to roll out Random Acts for Austin and been in prayer for needs in the area.  Between last night's scene and an inspiring story on tv this morning, Thankful Thursday was born.

Each week, I'll bring ideas for our area of things your family could join in on in memory of Austin.  Now, I realize many of my readers are across this earth, so just use them as a springboard of inspiration.  There are always needs all around us, we just have to use God's eyes sometimes to see them.

A new activity our family plans to do this month is to fill a backpack for a foster child.  We happened upon this beautiful idea on social media and it instantly spoke to me.  You see, for those who are new to this blog, our niece unexpectedly landed on our doorstep 3 1/2 years ago, with only the clothes on her back.  Even though she was family, it was a difficult adjustment period and just stocking her with clothes and basics was quite an undertaking.  Thankfully God, friends and family helped us through.  Now, she has so much "stuff" we periodically have to purge and donate!

But I remember the look on her face, the shock and loneliness, even though she came to family she knew and loved.  I can only imagine the feelings foster children go through, as they are planted in a new place with unfamiliar faces and surroundings.  Most have nothing of their own to go with them.  These backpacks are a wonderful idea and I can't wait to go shopping with our kids to build some hope and love for two teens.  The link is above for Katie's project.  If you aren't in the area, you can donate to her cause.
**(when I went to copy her link, 123 shares was the first thing I saw.  Austin wink!)

Last night, on my way home from work, I passed a location that I drive by multiple times a day.  With the time change, it was already very dark but the lights from this building shone on the line of people waiting to get inside.  It was our local food bank.  My heart broke in that moment and I found myself praying for the people in line the rest of my drive home.

We've never gone without food in our life.  Growing up, I remember "tough times" and we poke fun of my mom for the month of dumplins we ate one year, but looking back I'm tearful and grateful for her dedication to ensure that no matter how tight finances were, she always had a hot meal on the table as we came home from school.

My children have never known hunger and for that I'm ever-thankful.  Yes, there have been rough moments, due to job losses and tragedies, but God has always provided.  Some meals the kids might not have listed as their favorite, but their bellies were full when they fell asleep.

Groceries are expensive!  Our own household has recently had a tightening, a readjusting of meal planning, in an effort to trim the budget.  But I cannot imagine knowing I didn't have anything to feed my family.

Below is the contact info for our local pantry.  I have a message in for what needs they currently have and will update this post when they call.  Search out your local pantry this month and consider donating to help those in need.

If you donate or do a RAK this week, post a comment and let me know. I have no doubt Austin is smiling down on all that will be done!  Thank you for giving of your resources!

Ohio County Food Pantry 

boxed, canned, perishable goods to the low income citizens 
1220 S. Main Street, Hartford, KY 42347
Telephone - (270) 775-5913

**Post Update:

The Food Pantry serves over 600 families a month in Ohio County!

So they are ALWAYS in need of food or money to purchase it.

If you're interested in donating, Pat (number above) will arrange for pick-up or delivery.

Thank you!!