Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Free Drinks

There was an urgency stirring within me this morning.  I felt a gentle push to complete some things I've had in planning for the acts of kindness we're doing in memory of Austin.  Tim and I have both been doing things secretly but I've not posted many of them because we truly wanted to remain anonymous.  I had more public ideas in mind though and needed to print things to share when we did them.

Today marks one week until his angel-versary.  It's not a date I look forward to, in fact my heart breaks a little more each year when the calendar turns and I realize it's been so long since I've seen my son.

If I let myself, I could easily shut down this time of year.  With every cheery holiday tune that comes across the radio, I face the reality of another season without Austin.  This year, next Tuesday, will be three years since he's passed.  Time doesn't heal this wound though, there are days I can be shocked right back to that horrific night and have to deal with those emotions all over again.  It's so very difficult, this journey of child loss, and I don't know that there's any right or wrong way to face it. Everyone grieves and heals differently.

The way I've chose to face it, most of the time, is to focus on the positive.  It's the way I know Austin would've wanted it.  Happiness is who he was.  That attitude is the inspiration behind this blog.  It's also the reason we started Acts of Kindness in memory of our son.  The first year it was private, last year I invited those who follow his blog and Facebook page.  This year, I've made it a month long challenge for myself and have encouraged other to join in, if even just for November 29th.  Today, for whatever reason, Austin told me people were thirsty.

The labels I created, so that perhaps someone finding them would be inspired to pay it forward, or read his blog to learn more about his life, came in useful today.  They were my glue for attaching quarters to random drink machines. 

Tim normally raids my change stash, as I throw coins from drive thrus or other locations in the door of the truck or the console, but I decided they had better use this time. 

Stopping whenever I saw a drink machine, I'd peel off a label, attach two quarters (or more if needed) and stick them above the money slot. 

I didn't stay long enough at any of them so I don't know people's reactions but I hope they lifted someone's spirits. Perhaps it was just the needed pick me up in another's day.  It's just a free drink but I have a feeling my boy is working through everything we do so I don't doubt that each and every one of them had a purpose.

Today I'm thankful for your sweet spirit encouraging me to do good.
I feel you pushing me and today through next week
will be filled with acts of kindness in your memory.
We love and miss you Austin!


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