Friday, April 25, 2014

Faithful Friday: Hopes Springs

If all obstacles and fears were removed from your life, what would you want to do?  What are you working towards that if you snapped your fingers and could fast forward, you'd be there?

I was asked questions like this earlier in the week.
Basically....what are your dreams?

Some of them I found more difficult to answer than others.

I remember a few months back being asked, "where do you see yourself in five years?" and I was again at a loss for words.

Life isn't at all how I planned it now.  Life... didn't ask my opinion in losing my son.
And so, when I think about it, some of my hopes and dreams for the future were paused.

If I'm honest, I am fearful.  I worry that hoping too much or dreaming too big won't happen.
Because I've had the rug pulled out from under my feet more times than I can count.

Instead, I try to just make the best of what life hands me.  Instead I live now for today.
I find joy in the moment because I know how precious they are.  I appreciate the little things because I once took them for granted.

Living this way, I don't believe, is a bad thing.  Loss has made me value life more.  But in pondering those questions, and listening to my preacher remind us how important hope was, that we all need something to dream of, wish for, pray to God about, I realize maybe I'm missing out on a piece.

If I fully believe and trust God, I have to go all in.  I'm still not sure what that means but I am prayerfully looking to the future.  My God promises to prosper me, to give me hope, and a future.  So, I still need to dream...even if my happy ever after ends up on the other side.

The Lord your God is in your midst,

    a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
    he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.

Zephaniah 3:17


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