Count Your Blessings

We've had a roller coaster of emotions the past week.  Snowstorms and cancellations, busted pipes and clogged sinks, fluke injury and crippling back pain, topped with a dollop of financial stress, all in the midst of planning a surprise party for our son who would turn 18.

To say tears have fallen would be an understatement.  

Perhaps the obstacles came at the same time to keep me distracted from the fact that my baby was all grown up.  If you've been around this blog for more than a minute, you know he is a special guy and tugs at all my heartstrings.  18 was a milestone this momma wasn't quite prepared for and I don't know if it has truly sunk in even still.

As I browsed through old photos for his party, it seemed forever ago and just yesterday.  They tell you kids grow fast, you know it as a parent, but the reality still seems impossible.  I've told him a dozen times this week though...no matter how many birthdays he has, he'll always be my baby.

check out that cute photo bomber (tee hee)

In the middle of our messes, it is so easy to lose focus on the blessings we have.  

When I was soggy socked and stressed, watching water gush from our pipes (for the second time in a week) it was hard to see hope.  Dishes were piling in every direction, my hubby (our handyman) was out of commission from hurting his back at work, and due to the snow, every plumber in the area was booked for weeks.  But the hidden blessings through this mess would be a sweet dinner provided at the most perfect moment because a friend responded to a whisper from God.  Quality father-son time, as Noah was off from school (due to the snow) and got one on one plumbing lessons from Dad.  And a kick in the pants from the "big guy" to remember not to take my eyes off Him when the water rises, or else I may drown. 

Writing this morning, the events of the week that caused me such stress seem so trivial now.  A dear friend shared some horrific news of what she's been privately enduring.  And the unimaginable happened just miles away from us with another school shooting and young lives taken too soon.  I found myself ugly crying all the way to work, thanking God for reminding me of all the reasons I have to be thankful - and that there are others facing so. much. more today.  

That's how the enemy works, my friends.  he wants us to stay so bogged down in the stressors of every day that we can't look up to find the One who can pull us out of any storm.  And if we stay swirling in our own messes, we can't help (or even see) someone else who might need rescue.  

Sometimes the events we weather are mild, sometimes torrential but despite the downpours of life, God can be and is our constant calm.  

Prayers and Joy... 

and I'll leave you with a few moments of sunshine we shared.

the boy in the blue is one of Noah's best friends
 - and he came to the rescue for his party.  Being my heavy lifter, with Tim unable to help.
Bonus blessing - my sweet cousin thinking to snap precious memories like this <3 br="">
  

Records from my childhood my mom dug out to go with Noah's new record player.
We've enjoyed dusting off the memories and sharing music from my past.

And last but not least....a #simplejoy

Buffalo balls - a recipe that I "winged" (ha ha)
meatballs, ranch dip mix, and franks hot buffalo sauce
Yum Yum Yum

Day 14: Joyful View

There's a lot of windshield time in my job.

Actually most of my life, I've had a commute, so driving is something I'm quite used to for work.  The difference is that now my drive time is in short bursts throughout the day and, for the most part, confined to my home county.

From years upon years of driving on a boring parkway or interstate, this is a joyous change!  Kentucky is a beautiful state but I'm kinda partial to this neck of the woods.  Rolling hills, fields and farmlands, river banks and quaint towns just adds to the beauty here.

Most days I consider myself quite lucky to be out and about.

Of course the downfall of being outdoors every day is that you must drive, no matter the weather.  This position has certainly taught me to be more comfortable on snowy roads.  And particularly this summer, it has given me more skill in driving in the rain.  I've learned which paths are prone to flooding and how to avoid certain potholes.

However, unless it is a tsunami or dangerous weather, I find enjoyment in experiencing the various seasons from my car.  Along with taking in amazing scenery, I can spend time in reflection, prayer, and worship.  And I treasure that alone time with God.  This is what I remind myself in especially trying atmospheres.

In every day you have a choice to see the storm or the beauty.

Today I was caught in a downpour.  My reaction had the power to control the mood for the rest of my day.  I could focus on the rain.  Or, I could find the silver lining in the clouds.

The minor discomfort I was exposed to was nothing in comparison to the breathtaking view on the next curve.

Which is a lot like life.  

Every day we face difficulties.  

Storms we didn't see coming.  Fronts that move in without warning.  Disasters that attack and threaten.  How we choose to view them determines so much about the outcome.

Hold on.  A beautiful display beyond your imagination is around the bend.

Faithful Friday: Storm Preparedness

A winter storm warning is headed our way.  In our neck of the woods, this could go either way.  We could get nothing and everyone will complain they worried unnecessarily, or we could be snowed in for days.  The real concern though is ice.

I've only experienced one ice storm in my life, at least that I can remember.  It happened in 2009 and caused us to go on an impromptu camping trip in what felt like the middle of Antarctica.  As with any successful camping trip, preparation is key.  With this storm, it came out of nowhere and we had blind faith that underground power would somehow protect us.  Even though we had a fireplace, our meager woodpile wasn't prepared for the record low temperatures.  Or length of the power outage.  Or the lack of communication as phones were inoperable. 

In the end, our family had to make the choice to separate.  Tim, between his paid job and the volunteer fire department, was basically on constant call.  He shipped us to my mom's in what was the scariest ride of my life, feeling like I was strapped into a giant ice skate.   But we survived.

Yesterday, as I headed to gather a few needed supplies and to restock my pantry, fear and worry began to creep in.  But I was reminded, the best way to prepare for any storm in life, is to face it in prayer.  And God whispered, "I got this."

 

It is so easy, and the enemy is ever-ready, to let situations in life we can't control overwhelm us.  No amount of worry can change the course of a storm.  But I know the One who can calm the seas with a wave of His hand. 

 

Sometimes we can see the storm coming, like the forecast we have this weekend.  Sometimes storms come without warning.  Whatever you are facing right now, know that you can lean on the One who is stronger than any storm.

 

This girl's winter weather storm kit includes a heat source, through our fireplace (gas converted), a light source, through extra candles, a food source (and a manual can opener), but most of all, a life source, my Bible.  Sure to be good reading for all the peaceful quiet time -and the ultimate resource, should this weekend's storms arrive.

 

      

The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble;

he knows those who take refuge in him.

Nahum 1:7   

 

Faithful Friday: New Attitude

When life is less than lovely and then a peace comes, do we ever see it in the moment?  From the point where you can't breathe to normal, can we notice the switch?

I don't know that I ever recognize the transformation as it happens, but I do try to gratefully appreciate the change once I realize it.  In the peace, I look back and am thankful for the relief. 


Perhaps peace comes with the passing of time.  Reflection, prayer, processing.

  Maybe...the long, holiday weekend on the water. 
Rest for the body, as well as the soul.

Or, it could be the chopping off of my hair.  A physical symbolism of starting this next phase of my life anew.  Doubtful, but I did leave the salon with a new attitude!

All those things may help ease stress, but I know where my peace comes from.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. 

Not as the world gives do I give to you. 

Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:27

But beyond just surviving the storm, I work to learn from it.  What was God showing me in those moments when I was weak, incapable, and frustrated?  Who did I turn to or lean on when life was swirling out of control?

Summer 13' was anything but what I imagined or dreamed it to be.  Yet, as the end of the season came, the only pressing upon me was the sweltering heat.  All summer long the weather has been beautiful and bearable, life had been anything but.  In the end, the weather was miserably hot and oppressive but life was going to be ok.  Whatever outcome the future held, I was at peace.  Despite a week or two of weakness, I'd finally given it God.  Whatever will be, will be...

So the question now is, "What do I want to be when I grow up?"
Or rather, what does God want me to be?

Prayers appreciated for direction, discernment, and devotion to God as I navigate through this new chapter.  With each step, I'll continue to see the JOY in the journey.

Faithful Friday: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

My one word for 2013 was Submission.
I thought I chose it.  Looking back from a mere six months later, I know it chose me. 

Never would I have imagined God would hand me lesson after lesson to submit. 
And there's still another half of the year to go.  Mercy...

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. -Romans 5:3-4

This week has pretty much been a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad week, part from one bit of very good news. Of course the good news far outweighs the bad, yet I find myself shaking my head at life’s turn of events. Timing, as they say, is everything.  And the news fairy decided to pile it all on at once.
In the midst of the good and the bad, there's also been some ugly.

Over the course of the past seven days, I would learn yes or no on the “C-word” and yes or no on my career. Ironic how related they both are.  In addition, and in a freak accident that only I could be part of, I would also suffer from a potentially broken rib.

Yea, I don’t make this stuff up folks.

Much to my dismay, I received some bad news about my job. My position is ending.  It didn't come out of left field, but I must admit it was a bit of shock just the same.  And in respect for an organization I've known and loved for over 15 years -and dedicated most of my adult life to, that's about all I'll say on "The Bad" of my week.  As I've done all my life, I put my career in God's hands and trust that he'll place me exactly where I need to be, in his timing.

The Good.  Well, that was really, really good.  For over a year, I've fought a battle with my thyroid.  Truth be told, it's probably beat up on me for years before we discovered it.  A "nodule" appeared a month or so ago and resulted in a long waiting game of many tests.  Lumps are never fun news.  And with one in my throat, I went in for the results this week.  Praising God for three BIG words, "it's not cancer!"  My thyroid is still an angry little thing that we'll keep fighting, but what I'm facing is much more manageable and for that I'm ever-grateful.

Oh, yes, the Ugly.  I'm sure you're on the edge of your seat. 

In true OCD fashion, I dealt with the bad news as only I know how and went into cleaning mode at the office.  I'm a rip the band-aid off kinda gal and knew it had to be done eventually anyway.  So, in organizing and straightening up, I dropped some papers off my desk.  From my chair I bent over the arm to retrieve it, only to find I couldn't quite reach it.  Go-go gadget arms not responding, I pushed a little more and stretched to grab the paper when - POP - a sound my body has never made shocked me into a standing position.  Pain instantly followed and I stood there gasping, in disbelief of what just happened. 

Did I burst my spleen?  Is that even where a spleen would be?  Seriously, am I such a wimp that I can't even pick up a piece of paper without getting hurt?!  With my pride and my side stinging, I tried to continue through my afternoon.  I discovered that standing made it significantly worse so I huddled down and reverted to laptop work for the remainder of my day. 

By the time I got home that evening, I was in intense pain but still in complete denial.  A google search and webMD had diagnosed me with either a broken rib or a bunch of disorders I can't say or spell.  While at the doctor for the big news test results, I had her check and she promptly sent me for an x-ray.  (Confirmed results are still unknown.) 

In reflecting on the past week, submission kept whispering to me.  It led me to recall my "one word" and to go back and read my entry the beginning of this year.  How positive and upbeat I was, ready to hand it over to God.  How quickly I forgot...and failed.  On all three of these cases, I've had no control of the outcome.  Well, unless you count the lesson learned to not be lazy and stretch your body beyond it's physical limits to retrieve a piece of paper.  At any rate, they were and are reminders of the fact I've far from mastered this one word. 

I stressed.  I worried.  I was unkind to my family.  Much like an ostrich, I retreated and tried to pull the cover over my head.  I did pray but I wasn't very patient and I was certainly not very trusting.  I wanted to fix this and it frustrated me when I couldn't.  So, I'm dusting myself off and trying again.

It's Happy New Year x2.  Like Christmas in July, I'm celebrating an opportunity to start anew this summer and truly and freely Submit.  I may not always understand the answers but I'm trusting Him through it all.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. -Proverbs 3:5

 

 

 

 

Faithful Friday: 5 minute Joy

I apologize for writing this week's Faithful Friday after 10 p.m.  Doesn't leave much room for inspiration in what's left of the day.

Our life has been, in a word, chaotic.  Life, since Tuesday, has been turned upside down.  I'll share more in a later post.  For now, I'll just say I had a very scary, heart-racing glimpse of what this life might be without my dear husband in it.  It was void of joy.

Yet throughout this week of uncertainty, tears and pain...joy has been present.

Even from the ER (yes, that place again), joy came.  ....In the exuberance that is my husband.  How he manages to bring laughter in a room full of seriousness.  ...from the comfort and peace prayers provide - and in seeing the response of so many gladly responding. ...simple text messages that brought me strength.  ...of our pastor's presence.

VBS... in the midst of the chaos.  ...Having a purpose to ease my worries.  ...Hugs from sticky, sweaty, precious children.  ...the undeniable light of Jesus shining in their faces.

Noah saying to me one late night before bed, "there's that beautiful smile.  I love your smile, Mom"
- I still tear up just typing that.

Sharing the gospel with kids, hearts ready.  ...The amazing, goose bump moment when a child finds salvation.

Treasuring each good-bye and hello kiss each time with Tim in the hospital this week.  ...Seeing him perk up when I entered the room.  ...Knowing he missed me when I was gone.

Surprising the kids every night at VBS.  ...From Lazarus' resurrection - to a hunt for clues in the dark - special angels sharing the news - to goldfish crackers over an indoor campfire - to a dance party on the beach.  Watching their expressions and seeing them eagerly soak up the Bible stories.

Answered Prayers.

The unexplainable comfort that comes from having Tim back under our roof.  Having my husband beside me in bed, after three lonely nights without him.  ...Grateful beyond words.  ...Blessings through teardrops.

And so many, many more that I'm forgetting at this hour.  Way more than I can fit into five minutes. 
Joy overflowing....in the midst of the storms.

 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven.   - Psalm 107:28-30

Wonky Weekend

Three whole days off.  A long weekend.  The unofficial start to summer.  Sounds great, huh?  But this holiday weekend hasn't been the relaxing, fun-filled retreat I'd imagined.  In fact, I almost believe I'm ready to get back to work, if it means we get to hit reset on the random bad luck the past three days have brought!

It isn't that anything major has happened and when you look at the big picture, it's probably very petty to have let any of it bother me.  When you're in the middle of the raincloud though it's difficult to find the silver lining.  Yet, if you know me, I try very hard too.  ...even if it's not until after I have a little cry.

After Noah's ballgame Friday night, the kiddos went home with Mamaw, giving Tim and me an impromptu date night.  It was already late but we spontaneously decided to drive to Bowling Green for a pre-midnight snack.  Little did I know this would be the most relaxing part of my weekend!

Saturday we awoke still kidless and decided to go fishing.  Actually, I'll admit it was all Tim.  If I'd had my way, it would've been a Lifetime movie marathon day, as the heat was beyond my liking point.  But, there are often times in a marriage you do things that wouldn't necessarily be your preference.  I stocked up on water, slathered on the sunscreen, and reminded myself it was quality time with my sweetie.

The river was beautiful when we arrived.  Calm and smooth, reminiscent of Willy Wonka's chocolate river.  Occasionally a welcome breeze would drift through, cooling my heated skin.  My sweet hubby did think about me and packed a fan, rigged to a mini power source, which was redneck but appreciated.  He found us a knobby shade tree stretched over the water we could duck under for comfort.  And the first part of our outing was rather nice.

The sun was pretty unforgiving though and managed to sneak in between tree lines wherever we tried to hide.  The mixture of the heat and the fact that the most I could catch was a snagged line (and deformed fish) was starting to rub me the wrong way.  By the time the flies started biting me, I was done.  Perhaps I'm pretty tasty because those little suckers would take multiple bites before I could swat them away.  My whining moved Tim out of the water sooner than he was ready, but at that point I figured I'd paid my dues, sacrificing nearly six hours in scorching sun for him!

On the ride home, all I could envision was a nice cool house and even colder shower, followed by a huge glass of peach tea.  When I walked in the door though, the heat about knocked me over.  It was cooler outside than in my house.  Something was terribly wrong!  A glance at the thermostat showed 90 degrees and rising and after some investigation, Tim asked me to start finding AC repair numbers.  I was crossing my fingers, wondering if we'd find anyone to come out on a holiday weekend; and if we did, praying the price would be something we could afford.

In the midst of all this, for whatever reason, my husband also decides it is a good time to tackle the lawnmower, which had been giving us trouble the past few days.  (Let's just say short story is, we've spent about $100, including stupid tax, on a simple back tire)  Trying to replace said tire, he misplaced his glasses and hours later when we found them, they were crumpled and missing a lens.  Thankfully he has a spare.

Luckily a nice man finally answered and deemed a broken AC in this heat wave an emergency.  A few hours later, cool air was filtering through the house again.  It was still a somewhat sticky night but we had two toddlers over to keep us distracted.  My baby niece and nephew wanted to stay with "Aunt Heather and Unca Timmy" and although it was a bit of a chaotic start, they were the welcome relief I needed that night.

The next day, after church, Tim reflected on how my fly bites might have saved our AC.  If I hadn't been complaining, we wouldn't have left when we did and probably wouldn't have caught anyone still working.  Not having air in a home with only ceiling fans and no other alternative on a record high heat wave, would not have made for a pleasant weekend.  Our poor puppies would've also been in bad shape, being stuck in their kennels in that heat.  So, thank you fly family for sending us home when you did!

The rest of the weekend was rather uneventful, compared to Saturday, but it did still have it's kinks.  The heat has remained horrendous, and cancelled a few outdoor plans, but I'm so very glad we can cool off in the house.  Our wallet is a lot lighter, but I'm just reminded to save more for the rainy day fund, as it often pours around here.  My floors are stickier, spilling not one but two pitchers of tea, but it just gives me a reason to mop.  My yard is still not mowed, as now that one very expensive tire is finally on, the lawnmower decides to stop working.  Guess the grass can match the overdue bushes and I'll claim we are going green or something.  Despite the storms, I'll remember the sunshine this weekend.  And not the one that heated up the sky....

I'll remember finger licking sticky ribs in a booth with my hubby, seeing him smile every time he got to reel in a fish, a boat picnic under a tall tree while softly rocking on the water, spotting two majestic eagles floating above us in the clear blue sky, the sound of the water spilling onto the bank and watching tiny bugs escape for drier ground, squeals from littles as they ran to the truck, hugs and sweet baby kisses, sleeping with Noah because his room was the coolest and lil Allen took up all the space in our bed, taking those babies to church...even if we did have to drive to vehicles, smoky tasty chicken on the grill along with fresh garden veggies, the first drive-in outing of the season, sitting under the stars with the family, unexpected hugs from Noah under those stars, the goosebump feeling every time I see an American flag blowing in the breeze, a standing ovation for veterans at a small town parade, getting out the camera and playing, capturing memories, seeing the kids laughing on the carnival rides, an ice cold lemon shake up, holding hands while strolling down the sidewalk, making the most of life's moments...whether it's a valley or a mountain,

or somewhere in between.

Shelter from the Storm

While I'm not one to normally stress a great deal about storms, Wednesday seemed to be a different story.  I'm always concerned about the safety of my family and like a mother hen I tend to gather and protect, but normally, once I know I've done all I can do, I give it to God.  With the excessive news coverage and intense warnings for what seemed like impending tornadoes and significant damage though, I was more than on edge throughout the day.

Typically we ride the storms out in our home, and while it may not be the safest, you just feel at ease in your own house.  For this particular day's storm event however, I decided to seek shelter at my cousin's house which has a basement.  I'm sure she didn't plan on having a sleepover at her house when she left Wednesday morning but that's what happened. 

Feeling guilty for dumping half my house into her basement (for just one night), I brought loads of snacks and what I'd planned for us to have for dinner.  I figured she certainly wouldn't be prepared to feed a crowd.  We brought bbq pork, she made tacos, and it was a mini buffet by the time we laid out the spread. 

By dinner time, we had a house full and then some, blending four to five families for a total of a dozen or so hungry and nervous people.  Aside from our own families, we had her brother, his wife, their grown sonb and his family (including itty bitty cutie - Harmony) and Jen's mom, my Aunt Faye.  Why, it was a regular family reunion!

Although the air was filled with apprehension, I think everyone still managed to have a good time and enjoy each other's company.  The kids certainly knew no difference and were running up and down the stairs playing, while half of the adults hovered around the tv to watch the weather.  Even when we decided to seek shelter in the basement later that evening, to the kids it was like a giant slumber party.  Two rooms were transformed with sleeping bags, pillows, snacks, and arms and legs everywhere.  But, we were safe and we rode out the storm together.

Thankfully our area was spared from the massive damage that so many others have faced the past few weeks.  As I drove home to get a few hours sleep in my own bed, it wasn't until after I bowed my head in gratitude.  I felt blessed to have a home to come back to and to be surrounded by family who were all unharmed.  But I know there are thousands of others surrounded by chaos and heartache right now. 

While I don't pretend to understand to know the why to the pain we feel in this life, I do know it's only temporary.  Whatever you're facing, you can and will get through it.  To quote one of my newly favorite songs, "The pain reminds us that this is not our HOME."

  

Egg Salad & Sunshine

To say this week has been stressful might be an understatement.  With storm warnings, from floods to funnel clouds, we've been in a constant state of alert.  In fact, I feel our family has spent more time huddled in our safe space than in the other parts of our home.  It's difficult to concentrate on every day life when you fear for the safety of your family and friends. 

In addition to the chaos of the weather, "life" has decided to take this opportunity to rain down on us.  It has demanded our attention, whether we wanted it to or not.  Flat tires...broken dishwashers...doctor visits...and more.  At one point, I just started laughing, admittedly after a crying spell, because it just felt as if we were the stars of a sad country song.  But then, maybe it was best to just get all of the sogginess out in one week?  As annoying as they are, flat tires just don't hold the same weight against the dangers of a tornado and visible funnel clouds in our backyard.

Each night this week, I have fallen asleep while praying, feeling as if there's so much more than usual to pray for...so many I feel obligated to protect.  Each morning, the sunshine has reminded me to be thankful for another day, to be joyous in the safety of my family and friends.  Last night, my prayers were extended to my work family in Alabama and my heart went out to all of those who are suffering through the devastation.  While I felt relief for another morning with my family and home whole, I know there are those today not able to share that joy.

Having been through devastating loss, I know that in those moments even small rays of sunshine are sometimes difficult to see.  In the center of the storm, all you seem to find are clouds of grey.  What I know though is that the sun does return....slowly, you begin to see the silver lining.  If only for a few hours, you welcome the warmth the sun brings.  No matter how dark the hour may be, light is somewhere at the end of the tunnel.

 - - - - - - -

This morning, as I was sharing coffee and breakfast with my husband, I was overcome with memories from my childhood.  In the midst of my worries and sadness for those who may be facing loss today, I found a glimpse of sunshine.

With the many leftovers from Easter, I decided to attempt making egg salad.  It's a sandwich I loved as a child and always reminds me of my grandparents.  Egg salad was a constant at their home and something we would take on picnics and road trips. 

As soon as I bit into the sandwich, it was as if I was still in the backseat of my Grandpa's Sunday car, riding with them to church.  I could imagine the backs of my chunky legs, sticking to the leather seats, and swinging my feet back and forth.  I could smell my Grandpa's cologne, envision his starched suit and his large hands on the wheel.  Grandma sitting beside him in the front, would be reminding us of our manners before we arrived, as she passed back our snack of egg salad for the ride.

And as I kissed Tim out the door and felt the sunshine on my shoulders, I was reminded again of a favorite song from childhood.  Somehow, my cousin Jennifer and I learned the sign language to this song and we would sing it while playing outside.  I could picture us, sitting on the grassy hill above our grandparent's home, moving our arms and hands to the melody of this tune and singing it together.

This unexpected mini trip down memory lane reminded me of a simpler time.  Of fond childhood moments, forever captured in my mind.  Funny how something like egg salad and sunshine can make your day all the brighter.

For all those facing storms this week, whether from the sky or in your hearts, my thoughts and prayers are with you.  May you find sunshine in your days, even but for a moment, and may you pause in it's warmth and welcome the light.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. - Psalm 34:18