Love is...

Valentine's Day.
The ultimate opportunity for comparisons and gauging the level of love in one's relationship.

Was the gift big enough?  Did it surprise?  Better than a friend's online or the next desk over?
Did they remember at all?   I'm sure many ended their night either on a high or low from whatever their loved one did or didn't do.

But that isn't love.

Love isn't symbolized by something you buy in a store.  Love isn't meant to only be expressed one day of the year.  Love is everything that the commercialized version of Valentine's Day is not.

Love is buying chocolates the day after because they taste better when half price.  And being frugal is sexy.

Love is flowers, just because, picked from the side of the road on a day you don't expect them.

Love is being content with a simple dinner at home and snuggling in pjs on the couch.

Love is coming home to an empty sink and freshly vacuumed floor after a long day at work.

Love is also hard.

Love is not giving up when things get tough.  Loving them even when they aren't lovable.  Love is forgiveness.

Love is a note tucked under a pillow or written in the fog on the mirror.

Love is letting you warm your feet on them under the covers on a cold night.

Love is lifting the other when they are weak.  Caring for them not only when they are sick but often when they're sad.  Love is being their safe place to fall.

Love is knowing all their flaws or failures and seeing the best parts above them all.  But love is pushing, encouraging and helping them be better too.

Love is saying "I do" every single day.

Love is rare.  Love is a gift.  Love is enough.

Love is in the Air

The other night I caught view of the sweetest thing in my rear view mirror.

Noah and his girlfriend were snuggled together in the back seat.  We were returning home close to midnight, after a few delays and setbacks amid their date night.  They were cold from waiting on us and she was nestled under his arm asleep.  As I glanced back, Noah bent down and gently kissed the top of her head.

My heart melted but I didn't say a word.  It was such a loving gesture.  Even for a mom who isn't normally a fan of teen PDA, especially when one of them is your baby.

When he first started dating we were very strict with the "hangman policy," in that based on age, he would receive certain acceptable zones to show affection to a girl.  More than anything we wanted him to be respectful, both to her and our wishes.

Aside from many conversations about how he should treat someone he dates, my hope is that our marriage and relationship have been a living example.  We've been given a daily opportunity to share lessons in love by how we treat each other.

Certainly we've made mistakes.  But my prayer is the good has outweighed the bad.  And he sees that regardless of our errors we keep on loving.

I hope he sees that love never quits.

Love is praying together

the last slice of pie

laundry done without asking

hidden notes just because

time together doing nothing at all

still holding hands, decades later

sweet surprises

giving your best, even when you're getting their worst

the first cup of coffee

forgiveness

saying 'I love you' without saying a word

foot rubs

a piece of your heart beating in someone else

your best friend

a gift from God

Wishing you the happiest of heart's days!

God Nudges

I love the way the Spirit speaks into our lives, if we just open our ears and heart to listen.

A lot of the time, being selfish and stubborn, I dig in my heels, make excuses, or try to ignore God's gentle nudges.  Often, when I do, He'll use something to give me a bigger push.  Sometimes refusing to listen leads to unhappy circumstances, but often it's regret in missing out what He had planned for me.  More and more I'm trying to listen early to Him and receive the blessings and benefits right away!

The past few weeks He's been whispering on my heart about a few things and I've tried to push some of it to the side.  Sometimes I struggle with wanting to please others, even when I know it isn't what God would want me to do.

Time and again this week, He's sent me scripture and stories, relating to my earthly-tuggings.  Trying to nudge me on the right path instead.

The other day, while driving around for work, I caught a story on the radio of a woman going through the same struggles.  She'd prayed about something, knew she shouldn't do it, but went anyway to please her boss.  The outcome was a mess.  And then he sent me a scripture that summed it all up.

It was clear He was speaking to me.
Immediately I was convicted and let go of my needs to listen to His.

I call these "God nudges."  And I'm grateful for the place they have in my life.  They are a reminder that I'm not here for my pleasures, my desires, or my needs.

My husband shared a similar situation he's been in this week. Counseling a friend they shared, "but how do you ask for forgiveness when you know you're going to do it anyway, even if you know it is wrong?"

I've been there.  I remember when the struggle wasn't as hard.  When the nudges were softer and I allowed myself to disconnect and push them aside.

And back then, some of those might seem completely innocent to you - things like language, or watching something I shouldn't, or gossiping, or just avoiding spending time with God.  Then, living life for me was much easier.

What I shared with Tim clicked for him and maybe it will help you too, my friend, if you're struggling with something this week.

The closer I draw to God, the easier it is to resist the earthly pulls and temptations.  

Do I still fail?  Yes, (see above)!  But the nudges come quicker and it is harder to ignore when my relationship with God is strong.

As we near to Valentines, a day of love and expectations, we sometimes use it as a measurement of our relationship with others.  If he loves me he'll buy me this.... If she loves me, she'll do that....

But our worth to each other can't be fulfilled with anything we do or purchase in a store.  Our relationship is strengthened when we spend time together.  A partnership requires this.  How can you really know someone if you don't spend time with them?

And that is what God desires from us too.  The more we connect to Him, the stronger our relationship becomes.  The closer we walk with Him, the easier it is to hear His voice in our daily lives.  And when our marriages/relationships are focused on Him, the more solid they become as well.  Because without God, happily ever after isn't possible.

I'll close by sending you back a year ago to a post about a fairy tale marriage 

and how to ensure your own "Happily Ever After."

Hope your weekend is filled with the One True Love!

Sunday Sneak Away

Did you enjoy our Valentine's weekend? 

I hope it was filled with reminders that you are special, cared for, loved.  Mine was, even though it was also very, very busy.

When you're married with teenagers, finding time for just the two of you isn't always an easy task.  And we've found through the years that survival comes to those who either schedule regular dates or take advantage of impromptu pockets of time. 

Our weekend was filled with basketball games, grocery shopping, laundry (ugh) and all the normal activities that makes you feel like you've blinked and it's Monday again.  As such, finding quality couple time seemed unlikely. 

Originally, we had thought of sneaking away this weekend but my body took a "trip" instead.  I knew my injuries would prohibit much joy so, as we do, we went with plan B. 

Or maybe C? 

We opted for a Sunday morning mini date and set the alarm a wee bit earlier to make it to early service at church. Since Tim's niece and nephew have been regularly attending, I knew they'd be able to take the kids home after Sunday school and regular service.

So we were off on our date at 10:30 in the morning yesterday.  And it was wonderful.

A little sunshine.  A little brunch.  A little shopping.  And a lot of LOVE.

 

After 20+ years together, it doesn't take much to make this girl happy, as long as she's holding the hand of the one who still makes her heart skip a beat.

 

Joyful wishes to you this week! 

Faitful Friday: Love Lifted Me

I started writing this post yesterday.  Little did I know, the scripture that came to me would have a somewhat humorous (and painful) meaning today.

On my way in to work, I decided to stop and buy a loaf of bread and cinnamon butter for my co-workers.  Life was all sunshine and roses, as I left with a smile on face, eager to love on these new-found friends a bit and - wham!  I hit the sidewalk.

A bit stunned, confused, and sore (ouch!), I tried to gather myself, minus a shoe, and hop up before anyone noticed.  Alas, I was too slow, as a kind couple was immediately by my side, who minutes before were enjoying a Valentine's breakfast together.  I'm sure they didn't expect the show that took place when my foot caught in the door rug and I face planted in a crumpled mess in front of my truck.

Although I was a bit embarrassed, it was touching how much they cared for me.  The lady tried to dust me off, the man went to retrieve new bread and climb under the truck for my keys, and the shop manager was also there to roll up the rug and roll out a string of heartfelt apologies.  As I eased into my truck, they sent wishes of a better day.  I left in tears but it wasn't just from my stinging knees, it was for the love they all freely shared in lifting me up.

“Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor: 

If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”  Ecclesiastes 4:9

My original post was about gifts and I'd planned to share some of the most thoughtful (and unexpected ones) from Valentine's past.  But I don't think that was God's plan for my message and the tiny - yet eventful trip - I took this morning was validation.

Flowers and Chocolate seem to be the focus of this holiday, and while they are nice, gifts don't fully show love.  Unless of course that is your love language, but Tim and I both know that is not the case for either of us.  His is physical touch, mine quality time.  We do both appreciate gifts but would rather have them come unexpectedly, not because of a date on a calendar.

And while acts of service aren't high on either of our lists, I will admit that when someone helps me it does make me feel loved.  When someone lifts me up -physically or spiritually, it matters to me.  I remember it and tuck it away, as it shows me they care.

There are several people on my heart today who are hurting, some who are single, some who are not.  But my hope and prayer for them is that no matter what they are going through, they know there is always, always someone who loves them. 

God loves you no matter what. 

And the gift of His love can't be bought in any Hallmark store or delivered by a florist.  His gift is free to anyone and everyone.  All the time.   Every moment of every day.

Father, please shower my friends with your love today.  I lift up to you those who are especially hurting right now.  May the peace that only you can provide fall upon them and may they be wrapped in your loving arms.  Lord, please hug those I love today.  My hope is that through the course of this Valentine's day the warmth and comfort you give them follow them wherever they go. 

In Jesus I pray, amen.

 

 

Special thanks to new friends for sharing these uplifting pictures!

Faithful Friday: All you need is LOVE

Even though it is post-Valentine's, I couldn't resist writing about one of my other favorite topics - LOVE; because, of course, you can't have JOY without it.

At least the sweetheart day started and ended well.  I can't say much for the middle.  But, as I always try to do, I'll focus on the positive...

The morning began with a sweet treat for the family - breakfast!  We don't normally have breakfast on school mornings, at least a sit down together moment, because it's too crazy busy.  To show my family some love though I opted to set my alarm clock before the sun rose and actually cook a yummy breakfast for us to enjoy.  That meant I also had to wake them up a little early, but the scent of coffee, french toast and sausage was enough to pull them out of their warm beds.  Sitting around the table together was actually a wonderful way to start our day.

We ended the day in the same way, though a little lazier, comfy on the couch with a big decadent plate of pasta and some tv time.  Prepping the meal was made even better by Noah joining me in the kitchen doing his homework on a bar stool while I cooked.  It reminded me of sweet grade school days where homework time was a daily occurrence.  (heart sigh)  And just as we were about to devour surprise cupcakes I'd hidden, one of my favorite littles came through the door.  My niece Bryanna (and her momma) came bearing annual gifts from my mom.  A ball of energy, she rolled and wrestled on the floor with Noah, a princess and a giant, as our night was iced with giggles.

And the middle?....I'll just say it was less desirable and it made coming home to my family all the more easy to love.  Isn't that always the truth?  Family is what grounds us.  No matter what we face, we know they'll be there to accept us, support us, and love us.

Just like Jesus.  Even if you aren't blessed with a family to come home to, He is always there.  Even when we don't deserve it, even when we let him down, He's always there with open arms ready to love us through it.  And that's the best Valentine's gift I could ever receive!

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy,  made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. - Ephesians 2:4-5

Grace. JOY. & Love to you, friends!

 

Secret Revealed...

If you were listening to 96STO on Valentine's Day, some twenty odd years ago, you'll remember that the DJ had asked for listeners to call in with the nicknames they call their sweetheart.  So many of the common ones were heard - honey, sugar, baby and so forth.  One name that day stood out.  One name became the conversation piece for the entire day on the radio, and everywhere else for that matter.  At least, I recall it being said a zillion times in my high school hall.

Nobody knew then it was actually my affectionate pet name for my boyfriend, Tim.  (Yes, the same Tim that is my now husband.)  He married me, even with the silly nickname I gave him.  And I still sneak it in every now and again to remind him of the funny day our secret sweet word became very, very public.

Although I went to school angry that morning, hearing the word throughout the day made me smile.  It reminded me of Tim.  And with every overheard convo in the halls and classrooms, I giggled inside because nobody knew it was me.  I was famous and yet unknown.  Plus, I knew how much all the hype would embarrass Tim, even though nobody would know why his face alternated in shades of red throughout the day.

I was mad because it was all my sister's fault.  She was the one who called in to the radio station, making fun of my love name.  I tried to attack her in the hall when she grabbed the phone, stretching the already sprung cord to the limit in an attempt to escape.  Over my screams and threats to return embarrassment in ways she could never imagine, I'm not even sure how the DJ heard the word.  But, he did.  Moments later it was on the air, the echo of my evil sister's laughter a side dish to the torture.  With a look that promised retaliation, I huffed out the door and onto the bus, giving her the cold shoulder the entire trip.

Much to my sister's dismay, my afternoon bus ride was more enjoyable for me than her.  With each continued glorification of the nickname from the seats around us, I smiled inside and out.  She tried to interrupt and let the cat out of the bag that I was actually the creator of the name, but of course, nobody believed her.  Especially when I shrugged it off and used all those drama class acting skills to prove it.  (Thank you, Mrs. Elmore!) 

I decided earlier in the day it was more fun not to reveal who it was.  The mystery made it cooler.  Through the years, it has remained our little secret.  A word I can whisper that is sure to evoke a response from Tim.  A guaranteed laugh or chuckle.  But I decided today is all about love and surprises and what better way to celebrate than to share this happy little nickname with the world.  Who knows, some young girl may be looking for just the right word to describe the cuteness, the excitement, and everything she feels for her love.  Plus, after the surprise I have planned for Tim on this Valentine's Day, letting this secret out will pale in comparison.  ...Let's just say "Scooterbug" won't hold a banana to the giant-gram he has coming to visit him at work today! 

You'll just have to stay tuned to that story.  I promise not to make you wait 20 years!

Pucker Up

Since Noah joined in on our date to begin Valentine's weekend, we decided to go out as a couple last night.  Mamaw was happy to have Noah for the night to give us some quality time together.  We spent the morning running errands, chauffeuring Noah to practice, and trying to get all those things accomplished that somehow get put off for Saturdays. 

Tim got called in to work around lunchtime but it was a fairly quick job and he knew he'd be back by early afternoon.  I used the time to catch up on the house so that our evening would be free to enjoy.  Knowing it was a holiday weekend, we decided to eat with the senior citizens and try to beat the crowds, so we headed to Owensboro as soon as Tim made it home.

I had plans to leisurely do some window shopping, eat a nice dinner somewhere and maybe take in a movie.  As we pulled into the first store, his phone rang...it was work.  Now, Tim's on call every other weekend for his job so it's something we're fairly used to; however, with them being so short-handed these days, this weekend he's on call for three of their stores.  It was heavy wishful thinking for me to hope that we'd escape the weekend without him being called out but a girl can hope. 

Since he'd already been called out that morning, I guess I was hoping Mr. Cupid was blessing our date night and we'd be spared.  We quickly learned though that Cupid must've been busy shooting arrows for other couples because all the plans we'd made that night we're tossed out the window. 

Thankfully, we were able to sneak in dinner while waiting for the patient to be released from the hospital, though not at our first choice of restaurant.  It seemed everyone had the idea of eating out early to beat the crowd but we ended up happy with the change of plans.  Our meal was wonderful and I was grateful for the time together. 

Everything that could go wrong with his call last night did go wrong and we spent most of it driving around, making calls and multiple attempts to accomplish what should have been a pretty routine job.  At one point, as we were in the dark and spooky warehouse, feeling the walls for the light switch, I had to laugh.  It certainly wasn't the date I'd planned but it could've been worse.  At least we got to spend the night together, which in the end was all that really mattered to me anyway.  Life handed us a bucket truck of lemons last night and we chose to just go with it, pucker up and make the most of it.

Valentine's Day is so not about overpriced flowers, chocolates that will go half price by Tuesday, or a $5 greeting card.  We don't need a date on the calendar to show how much we love each other.  After all these years and all we've been through, we find joy in the moments, not the occasion.