Invested, Year End

The past several years I've focused on a #oneword instead of a resolution.  This time of year, I like to reflect back and see how I did, recap the highlights of months gone by, and celebrate the turning of new adventures.

INVESTED was the one word for 2018.

My goal was to be invested...

in my Relationships

-with God, my marriage, motherhood, family, and friendships

*A funny family post and a first for some.

*May days, busy but full of family

*We celebrated our 25th anniversary

In my Health

-this year sparked a change and I want to see it to fruition

*An unexpected diagnosis threatened to alter my health goals but instead it fueled me farther 

and Tim joined in too!

*practicing self-care with a staycation

In my Passions

-dreams can no longer be dusty from sitting unrealized

*I took time to capture the beauty of a winter storm, 

by going against my comfort zone and getting out on the roads.  It was so worth it!  

*A few steps closer to my goal of writing a book, I began writing for a local online magazine this year.  

In my Priorities

-does it make a difference? bring me joy and Him glory?

*Continued focus on finding JOY

*checking a big health goal off my bucket list

In my Future

-and remember investments sometimes take years to reap rewards

*completing an education goal

*unexpected blessings in career and family

In Service to Others
-if I'm deeply invested in each day, help me notice those with the greatest needs

*Making a new-to-me batch of elderberry syrup has found it in the hands of others who are ill

*Driving my Grandma to get her ears pierced

*Hosting a family Bible study

Less Projects, More Focus

Less Tech, More Personal

Less Scattered, More Strategic

Infuse, Devote, Provide, Endow, Plunge, Entrust

INVESTED

2018

Reflecting back, I can say I accomplished this #oneword better than expected.  I'm proud of the positive changes made in my life and the strengthened relationships formed.  I give all the glory to God, for without Him I would achieve nothing!

Not sure if I'll have a #oneword for 2019 or what it will be.  

I do know after a solid year of health focused on nutrition, I am ready to take it to the next stage.  I'm holding myself accountable to stick with a workout plan next year!  

This "grandma-to-be" has a new generation to get younger for.  :)

I hope your year was memorable and full of JOY and if it wasn't, 

I wish you many blessings in the New Year!

Clinging to Christmas

Signs of Christmas seemed to pop up overnight on November 1st. 

The Great Pumpkin must have swooped in and collected all the fall decor because as the sun rose, orange was out and green was in.  Driving to and from work, I counted multiple homes with Christmas trees aglow.  And the number is rising every day.

It's a bit of debate.  People are either pro-early Christmas or against not giving Thanksgiving the spotlight.  Much like politics, we are a country divided. 

Personally, it doesn't bother me.  We are a decorate Thanksgiving weekend family mostly because it became a tradition years ago with our kids.  But also because we use a real tree and it can't survive an extra month of display.  I'm completely at peace with the mingling of the two seasons because gratitude and Christmas are perfect partners.

I tend to find sadness in how quickly people tear down Christmas.  With one swipe, the litter of wrapping paper and any sign of the holiday is cleared.  For me, the week after Christmas is my favorite.  The hustle and bustle is gone, schedules slow and I can still myself in the glitter and glow of the tree.

A quiet house with only the lights of the Christmas tree is beautifully calming for the soul. 

That stillness helps me to pause and reflect on the true meaning of this season.  To sit in gratitude of the many blessings, as I think back on the past eleven months and look forward to new year.

I believe that is why many are so eager to put up their tree and decorate.  There is a magical air in this season because Christmas symbolizes love, the birth of a promise and Hope for our future.  No matter the division or chaos of this earth, Christmas reminds us there is more.  The sparkle, childlike anticipation and warmth of the season is but a glimpse of the wonder we will experience in eternity.

And that is most certainly worth clinging to...every month of the year!

Blessings Abound

In a month filled with painful memories, November can be difficult for our family to face.  For many years, just turning the page on the calendar brought forth tears and anxieties, as we relived the painful night of losing our son all over again. 

We've learned to face the month in gratitude instead of grief.  

Focusing on what Austin was known and loved for, his kind heart, encouraged us to do random acts of kindness and a RAK movement was born.  For the past decade, RAKs have grown from one day to an entire month focused on sharing kindness.  And from more than just our small family but to friends and even strangers helping others and remembering a life cut short by tragedy.

Our RAK project this November has been to produce yard signs in hopes of canvasing our county with the message of sharing kindness.  The money raised will go to local charities.

As I turned the calendar tonight, noticing the scripture and special dates, I had to pause in pure thanksgiving of the many blessings God has given us recently.  This November seems a turning point of many positive changes for our family.  Changes we have prayed fervently for and, in His timing, will take place this month.

Tim and I both start new careers this month. 

For the past few years, Tim's health has suffered and we've spent many sleepless nights without answers as to why.  While I stood in prayer and belief that God would lead us in the right direction, in the meantime we did what we could to improve our well-being.  Both of us have transformed and are in better shape than we've been for some time!

This summer, God led us to a doctor who has provided excellent care and solutions to the many symptoms from which Tim was suffering.  Complications from our wreck became the common denominator in his issues and, while there is no cure for what he's facing, we have managed to minimize and reduce them with his help. 

Then news came for an opportunity for Tim to have a new career which allowed more flexibility, better hours, less physical demands, and to leave third shift.  This girl is giddy to have him back home at night!  The only downside was losing medical...

Enter my job offer.  Just two weeks after Tim begins his.

With every twist and turn, each mountain and valley, God has seen us through beyond our expectations and has provided in ways we never imagined.

Neither of us saw a career change at this point in our lives.  When we turned the calendar last January, we knew this would be a milestone year, but expected to prepare for becoming empty nesters.  Settling into expected routines.

Instead, we are facing the new year with different and exciting paths and... the surprise added blessing of becoming grandparents! 

In fact, this month, we may well know if Baby Blair will be a boy or a girl.

God is good.  All the time...

In His Timing

The past two weeks we've hosted a Bible study at our home.

If you told me several years ago our extended family would all be in church together, much less doing a study, I might have chuckled.  While I would say most have always been believers, in some form or fashion, church attendance was just not something everyone did.

But God can work out even the most unlikely situations for His good.

My paternal grandfather was a preacher so he was my faith foundation.  As a child, we went to church when visiting them.  After we were married and Austin was born, Tim and I discussed raising our children in church and how it was a value for us both.  We sporadically went for them, growing a little with each passing year. There were seasons we were regulars and others where life got in the way.

Ironically, it wasn't until after losing our oldest church became not just a habit but our lifeline.

We've watched our pew outgrow room and most Sundays now there are three to four rows of family together.  When approached by our pastor to host an upcoming Bible Study, we eagerly accepted.  And seeing the sign-up sheet after the first day, it was clear God had a plan for who He wanted there.  Our entire roster was and is family.

At first, I was uncertain if this was the best idea.  (This is where I think I'm smarter than God...)
But wouldn't each of us grow better if we were spread out among other groups?  Didn't we need to be stretched outside our comfort zone?  And what I quickly learned is that for many attending, this was already out for them. 

I forget not everyone is on the same path in their Christian walk.  Some are just starting out, some lost in the weeds, some climbing mountains and some further along.  How soon I forgot how uncomfortable we were at our first Bible studies or small groups.  Though it seems routine now, God is using us to help guide and encourage others. 

What a better blessing is there to do it among double family - family by blood and by the blood of Christ!  Though we are only a few weeks in, we've already seen God moving and working among the group.  I'm joyfully expectant at how He will continue to do so through this process and the days to come. 

Healthy Inside-Out

After a year of dedicated focus on completely revamping my health top to bottom, inside out, I decided to share some of my tips learned along the way through live videos.

Much to my surprise, they received quite a response and it kept me motivated to do a series of ten videos...two months of healthy habits!

Not all of my blog readers are my "Facebook friend" so I wanted to share some of them with you.  These links will work whether you are a Facebooker or not.

Immune Support - who doesn't need that this time of year?!

Stress Relief - how to create a self-care kit

Removing toxins - cleaning your home naturally

Top 10 Tips - all the best wrapped up in one video

And of course, no series would be complete without...

How to find JOY in every day!

All videos are public so you can easily search out the other five, if you're so inclined.

Aside from my voice making my skin crawl and the funny faces Facebook decides to freeze frame, I think it is a pretty dandy collection. 

Going outside my comfort zone was worth it to help even one person take charge of their health.  You are worth it!

What's the best health tip you can share?  Or where do you struggle?  I love to hear from my readers.

Have a fabulous fall weekend!

Self-Care Staycation

Other than Christmas break, when our company is closed, I haven't taken a week's vacation since 2013.  We've had a few mini trips and long weekends here and there but my last extended retreat was our beach trip as a family.  Five years ago.

When looking at the number of days I had available and realizing how long it has been since I've had a week's rest, I opted to take a staycation this week.

Spontaneous.  Last minute.  No plans or schedules.  Ten Whole Days Off!

I'm almost always off on Fridays, so actually, I guess my "vacation" has come to an end; however, I am most certainly still in a staycation state of mind.  And will be that way until Monday!

After having something to do, somewhere to go, or somewhat of a last-minute agenda every day so far, today was operation lazy PJ day.  And I thoroughly enjoyed it from my first cup of chocolate chai to Netflix binging and cuddling our new kitty to being completely ok with being non-productive an entire day.

In fact, if I've had any purpose at all for this past week, it has been to practice self-care.  In the moment, listening to what I want or need, and doing just that.  Or nothing at all.

So far...

I've jumped out of my comfort zone and into a dress celebrating the success I've had 

with changing my health for the better.  

AFTER I returned home,
I realized my tag was on my chest.  #backwardfail

Picked up more pumpkins and mums just because they make me smile.

Captured sweet moments at my little sister's wedding.

Held an impromptu sleepover with my nieces and nephew.

Napped whenever I wanted.

Kidnapped mom and took her on our annual "Nut Club Food Fest" adventure.

Enjoyed coffee & chai on the deck.

Self-improvement and continued learning.

Soaking up family time and everyday moments of JOY.

My staycation didn't include spas, sand or exotic locations but I wouldn't trade it for the world.  

And this girl is making it a point to take more "Me" days in my future. Because I'm worth it!

Never Stop Learning

My 40s have been a joyous place.  There is contentment in my soul but also this longing to be and do.  I'm happy with who I am but have an awareness I can accomplish and learn more.

Fears and worries have been replaced with a hunger and willingness to try new things.  Perhaps the awareness that I'm getting older spurs this on.  Maybe it is the knowledge from four decades prior.  Whatever it is, I adore these fabulous 40s.  And I've only just begun!

This weekend I checked two more items off my bucket list.  One has been a dream for some time, the other something I didn't even know I wanted but was glad for the experience.

When I started college, I was newly married and had a baby on my hip.  While it was a goal I was determined to conquer, it was slightly adjusted.  Having these lovely responsibilities meant I needed to join the workforce sooner than later.  As such, I opted for a smaller degree that opened doors for me to begin my career while attending school.  Looking back, I'm not sure how I handled those hours or demands with a new family but I did.  And though my Associate's is not esteemed, or even looked at as an achievement by some, I am proud of it - and myself. 

But I've always longed to go back.  Life, work and other excuses have seemed to intervene over the years pushing the dream further away.  This summer, I was given an opportunity to test the waters, so to speak.  Through a community grant, I enrolled in an online program for Virtual Assistants.  Years ago I enjoyed working from home and thought the skill set might be nice for the future.  Thursday I picked up my diploma.  Being completely online, it helped me gauge juggling coursework and life.  I learned my brain doesn't test as it did in my teens and twenties!  But I'm pleased with my overall completion. 

Saturday I spent the day on a soggy farm with my sweetie driving, of all things, a tractor. 

When he texted me the night before asking if I wanted to work, I sent a reply verifying he was talking to his wife.  Sometimes he texts me when he intends to message Noah, or vice versa.  And this sounded more like a Noah job.  Though at the time I wasn't sure what I'd be doing, I said yes.  It is his birthday weekend and no matter what we do, I enjoy time with him.

Waking early in the morning, he tells me to dress in clothes I don't care about and to plan on getting wet.  Though I love the outdoors, I am not a fan of getting dirty.  Or heavy physical labor.  So, I went into the day with a few doubts and maybe even some negativity. 

After learning I'd be driving a tractor, I laughed.  Maybe out loud. 

This girl may have grown up on a farm but a cowgirl, I am not!  I wasn't even sure I could get up onto a tractor, much less know how to operate it.  My hubby, ever my fan and cheerleader, reminds me I was one of the best pump operators he knew (back in my brief ventures with firefighting) so I decided to give it a try.  He promised it was the easiest job of the day.

It was a bit scary at first, especially when I had to navigate inside a house or make u-turns in wet ditches but I'm so glad I tried!  Though it wasn't exactly how I envisioned we'd spend our Saturday, it was memorable and fun. 

What's on your list to learn?  

Blue Bridge Bucket List

I've often admired runners.  I'm not sure if the fascination came post or pre-wreck but since my injury, watching runners or even avid walkers is something I sometimes envy.

In your twenties, one never imagines themselves in a wheelchair.  But I was.  And due to extensive damage to my leg, I had to learn to walk again.  I still vividly recall the progression of healing.  Moving from hospital bed to wheelchair...to walker, to cane...and then a limp that never really seemed to leave, despite physical therapy. 

Though it seemed forever and the days were long, it was only months spent confined.  Yet, it was enough to be grateful daily for the freedoms many of us take for granted physically. 

The first time I was able to drag myself to the car and into the driver's seat, I sobbed.  That simple act, something I'd done hundreds of times before without a thought took so much effort. 

Steps were my nemesis.  Still are.  Going down is more difficult than up, which may seem odd to someone who has never suffered from knee issues.  But when flexibility and range of motion are altered a downward step isn't done with the ease it once was. 

Though only one leg was injured in the crash both feel the pains, as the stronger took on the weight of both and quickly became worn.  Exercise, though an activity I used to enjoy, isn't easy.  My legs will usually tire out long before my drive and determination do. 

For a few years, I simply gave up when it came to walking (or my health).  Sitting on the sidelines, though not where I wanted to be, was where I could be found. 

Last fall, during a camping trip with my family, I surprised them by suggesting a hike.  Wanting to see Cumberland Falls, I had my mind set on navigating steps, regardless of the pain it might cause.  To everyone's surprise, I did much better than expected, mostly due to getting a jump on weight loss a few months prior. 

Since then, I've noticed my stride and speed improving.  My posture more erect and confident.  It's amazing how much your bones appreciate not carrying around extra baggage!

Saturday would see another check on my bucket list by walking across the blue bridge during its annual closure. 


Though I didn't participate in the 5k (next year goals!)  I did make it across and back in one piece. 

excited & ready to tackle the bridge!

Yes, my legs burned and my hiney wasn't happy that night but it actually felt good to have that type of pain.  Instead of pain from inflammation, fluid retention and injury, it was discomfort from muscles being worked.  And I can brag I walked across a river and two states!  ;)

Hot. Tired.  Proud & Happy.

It was a highlight joyful moment from a busy, blessed weekend.  But I couldn't have done it without strength from God, a total focus on my health, and a super-supportive spouse.

A Week of September

September marks the beginning of my favorite time of year.  As if on cue with the flipping of a calendar, the landscape changes.  Leaves are turning...pops of Autumn hues show up in fields and forests...and the weather softens, just a bit.

We're a week into September and I've been blessed with many joys already.

Tim and I lingered on the first day of the month, enjoying coffee on our deck.  (Well, actually, I had tea as I'm on a chai kick right now.)  But the rain clouds held off long enough for us to sit outside, listening to church bells in the distance.  Such a simple morning but one of my favorite ways to start the day.

Saturday evening, we met up with our son and his girlfriend for a double date.  It isn't often all our schedules coordinate and it was nice to spend time with them.  We have twenty-plus years on their relationship but watching the two lovebirds whisper and holds hands in the booth reminded us of our early days together.

Labor Day wasn't anything traditional but somehow ours never are.  Tim had to work so I visited my Grandma, Aunt, and family.  If you have grandparents still living, I hope you treasure them as much as I do.

Mine is 89 and spunky as ever.  She wanted to spend the day getting her ears pierced so that is just what we did.

Decades ago, her first piercing was done by her sister with a potato.  I'm not sure if she had a professional one down the line but a few months ago she accidentally pulled and tore the lobe in her sleep.  That alone sounds painful enough to me but ever the example of strength, she never flinched during the procedure.  The biggest struggle was getting her to accept the price inflation!  It took some coupon and finagling but she was happy in the end.

Of course, I'm biased but isn't she the cutest?

Driving her around reminded me of the reverse as a child.  I spent many hours in that passenger seat with her.  No matter the chair, some of my best talks and lessons in life have come sitting beside my Grandma.  

Today I ran errands, preparing for a great joy tomorrow.  I've been asked to attend our local farmer's market as they celebrate Kentucky authors.  To be listed in that category humbles me.  Rain again threatens but no clouds will dampen the happiness I have in being a part of this event.

If you're here tomorrow as a result of that booth, welcome.  Grab a cup of tea, or whatever you fancy, get comfy in your chair, and sit a spell.  I promise browsing around will bring you joy. 

Here's to the rest of September...

Purple Elixir

Every Saturday morning, without fail, we visit the Farmers Market.  While I wish I had the time to garden and produce my own fruits and vegetables, I believe this is the next best thing.

I love the atmosphere, the smiles on the vendors' faces and the variety of samplings we find.  Today was extra joyful because of a box of super powerful berries I spied and snatched right up with a smile.

For the past few years, I've read about the benefits of elderberries.  Last year, I considered ordering some syrup online but because I wasn't sure of the ingredients and if it was watered down, I passed.  Learning that one of my favorite vendors would have some today set me off on a mission.

Though I have never done it, I was determined to create elderberry syrup as an added way to boost our immune system this fall and winter. 

From the Medical Medium:  Elderberries contain special proteins and bioflavonoids that have the ability to destroy viruses on contact that infect cells in the body. Elderberries are also known to have the ability to significantly enhance immune function by boosting the production of cytokines in the body. In addition, they are very beneficial for bronchial and respiratory problems and can help loosen and expel congestion in the lungs.   Elderberry syrup is also rich in vitamin C and a wealth of other critical vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and many other nutrients.  Plain and simple, our ancestors knew best.

Canning has always been on my bucket list of things to learn to do.  Today, I got close and definitely spent the afternoon being productive for our health. 

Searching recipes online, I knew I needed local honey and much to my dismay that vendor did not set up at today's market.  But thanks to Facebook and some sweet friends, it was a matter of minutes before I located several other choices.

Home from the market, Tim and I sat down and began to pluck teeny berries off the bundles of branches from the box.  This was not a quick process but as my fingers turned purple and our colanders began to fill, I was prayerfully thankful to have this bounty and work to do today. 

The empty bushes were just as pretty, as the once green limbs were naturally dyed a brilliant violet hue.  I truly pondered keeping them, drying the stems out, and using in a wreath but wasn't sure how they held up.  Maybe next year...

From the box, I yielded about 8 cups of berries, which were then washed and put on the stove to boil.  About an hour later, using a cheesecloth, I strained them into a bowl ready for the final steps.  Once cool, I added raw honey and essential oils, lemon, and cinnamon, which all have antioxidant support.

Now, I have a beautiful tie-dyed cloth, several jars of goodness and the pride in knowing I've accomplished something worthwhile for my family. 

Have you ever made or tried elderberry syrup?  I'm fascinated with natural options to support our health and the power that food has to heal.  God put every little thing on this earth to help us if we only take the time to learn and listen.

Grateful.  Blessed.  And tinted purple.

Dance Like Nobody's Watching

One of our favorite pastimes this summer has been heading a few blocks downtown to hear local talent play outdoors.  The concerts are free, which is an added bonus, but we just enjoy the atmosphere for an easy and enjoyable date night.

A side street is blocked off, nestling you between brick buildings that bounce the sounds of whatever style of music is offered each Friday night. 

The crowds have been small, the only disappointment, as we wish the community would support small-town efforts more.  But then again, not having to fight a crowd and feeling like you are attending an inclusive concert is also part of what makes it special.

We almost missed this past one, forgetting as it isn't an every week event.  On the way home from the movies, I received a notification reminder so we dropped in at the last minute.  Though I'm ever the planner, there is joy to be had in an impromptu outing.

Singing along with every tune, I began people watching and noticed a curly-headed toddler enjoying the show.  He was clapping and bouncing to the beat, oblivious of his cuteness or the attention he was drawing.  His enthusiasm was infectious and I soon found myself grinning ear to ear.

A bit later, another child a few steps up began to dance.  She twirled and rocked, waved her arms and jumped around happy as can be. 

Neither of these kids paid any mind to the people around them.  They didn't care what other's opinions might be.  They didn't worry if they looked silly or wore the right shirt.  They weren't distracted by anything and were fully present.  They simply found joy IN the moment. 

It was a pleasant reminder of true joy.  Joy unharnessed by any restrictions or rules.  Joy in just being.  We could learn a lot from a child...

Be Still

Have you ever turned down the radio when you're trying to find something while driving?  Or just needed to quiet things in order to think?

Yesterday I got caught in a downpour and turned my radio off so I could concentrate and see the road.  Since I'd already scanned the stations for warnings, as tree limbs slung around me, finding none I felt the need for peace to drive.

After about 10 minutes and upon topping a hill, I found retreat.  Clouds broke and all was calm.  With my radio still off, lowering my wipers, I drove the rest of the way in silence. 

But the peace spoke volumes...

It made we wonder how often we miss things due to the chaos and noise of this world.  Everywhere we are something is striving for our attention.  Whether visually or through sound, we're attacked with news, advertisements, gossip and more. 

The barrage of noise we encounter daily reminds me of those annoying wind dancers that flop and wiggle on the side of the road.  Most of it is useless and just a distraction from the better things in life.

As I continued to drive in silent peace, my thoughts went to a simpler life, before car radios even existed.  I wondered how much more time was spent in prayer and talks with God when not faced with the noisiness of this world. 

And as beautiful fog lifted from beneath the trees and rays of sun began to peak from stormy clouds, I heard the scripture, "Be Still" from within my soul.

All of this lasted less than 10 minutes but had a profound and lasting effect on the rest of my day.  It reminded me of the continuous need to slow down, be still and rest in Him.  Not just as I start or finish my day but all throughout it.  In the silence, I am joyfully awaiting what I will hear.

Morning Moments

Dawn and twilight are my favorite times of the day.  The intersection and mingling of the two always cast a beautiful ambiance.  Magic happens in those fleeting moments as one greets the other.

Yesterday I spent over two hours on my deck watching the world awake.  There was a hint of fall in the air, though it is mid-July.  Fog nestled near dew-kissed grass as winged friends stretched their feathers and sang good morning.

With a steaming cup of milky tea, I lingered enjoying simply being present.

Awareness of transitions...

This time of year would normally mean preparing for school to begin.  Though my youngest will start college soon it is different now.  We have done our part as parents to prepare him for this next phase in life and so now we wait in the background, quietly supportive on the directions he will take.

Because of traveling this weekend, I missed hearing our sermon so worship was held outside.  I often do my morning devotion outdoors, if the weather allows.  A bird joined me for most of it, turning his head at times as if he were learning.

But the bird reminded me of a lesson and a treasured scripture...

The end of summer can be a fresh start for many and also a time of worry or anticipation.  The beginning of a busy season with structured chaos.  It can be easy to wish the days away and long for rest from the weekend.  Budgets may be tighter as holidays approach.  We can begin to worry about having enough.

What I have learned is that God provides, regardless of the needs in our life, if we trust and lean on Him.  He's been there for us when we have had plenty and we have had little.  But He's assured there has always been enough.

This post seems somewhat like I'm rambling but I just feel someone needs to hear these words.

Whatever anxiety you may be facing in this changing season, my prayer is that you will find peace.  Enjoy this moment.  Trust in the now. 

A Year Transformed

One year later.

I told myself many times not to post this, for many reasons.  The before photo is not one I'm proud of but I'm proud of the girl who knew she was worthy enough to fight for one more time.  The after photo isn't where I wanted to be by this point but she's better and healthier than before which means the most!  

When I look at the girl on the left, there's so much that has changed.  She needs to tell her story... 

I remember that day vividly.  One more attempt...one more try.  I felt frustrated, hopeless, tired but yet - determined not to give up.  Though I avoided the camera something told me to snap a starting pic.  They say a picture is worth a thousand words and every time I look, it speaks volumes.

The girl on the left lived in daily, chronic pain.  It hurt to walk, even just across the room, often feeling like stabbing knives when attempting.  Most days, that girl had to will herself out of bed, even though it also hurt to be in bed.  Often it was hard to breathe.  Sometimes she wondered if she would die because of her weight.  That girl would look in the mirror and wonder where she went.  She lived in anger for where she was and how she'd let her body down.


 But that girl told herself this time would be different.  This time was a life-change, not a temporary quick fix or diet.  This time she went into it prayerfully, knowing she wasn't strong enough on her own. This time...she wasn't focused on a number on the scale (though she had to be reminded often) but was instead determined to change her mindset.  This time the focus was on health.  And this time she solely concentrated on nutrition. 


In the past, I tried to do it all at once.  Inevitably, if I tried to include working out my knee would soon give out and set me back, which would send me spiraling and I would give up.  So what if I only worked on nutrition?  Would it really make a difference?

One year later, I can testify without a doubt, it has!  There may be progress seen visually in the side by side but what is felt most is the difference internally.  When you eat better, you feel better!  

People ask what I did/am doing.  The short and simple...JUST EAT REAL FOOD!  Shop the perimeter of the store -or better yet the farmers market.  Fresh is best.  However, for me, eliminating sugar and processed "foods" has been life-changing.  I am no longer tempted by junk because my body knows and recognizes it for what it is.  

Was it easy?  No.  There were pitfalls and setbacks.  It took time, dedication and yes, money.  But the investment to spend a little more buying healthy food was worth the savings in health care.  Over and again.  And cutting out fast food saved us money!  Sugar was a serious addiction I didn't even realize I had.  The cravings and withdrawals were real.  But after the hurdle and fog lifted - why ever go back?  I promise fruit will taste so sweet once your body learns what it should taste like again.  Everything tastes different (better) and food becomes fuel, not a pastime.  

About six months into my journey I was hit with another obstacle, being diagnosed with Alpha-Gal.  The daily habits that were working for me now had to be paused and adjusted.  Being seriously allergic to foods caused anxiety and I was forced to make even simpler choices.  Around that time I discovered juicing (celery) and began following the advice from Medical Medium.  Again, evidence of God helping me through.

This post is for the person who is at the end of their rope.  Who has almost given up and isn't sure there is any hope for them to feel better.  Who thinks health is just for the lucky few.  You are worth the effort!

PCOS, hypothyroidism, EBV, fibro, a broken knee, extreme food allergies and a tight food budget did not prevent me from making health a priority.  I had every obstacle (and excuse) to not succeed.  And by society's standards or the scale, I'm not a success.  I'm a continual work in progress and proud of where I am today.  Health is a journey you must take one step, one day at a time.

I'm so thankful that one year ago today, I bravely took that first step.  It was the first day of the best of my life.

Bittersweet Birthday

Most of the time we think of our son, Austin, as forever 14, since that was our last birthday with him, in 2008.  He passed just four months later.

Yet, as our youngest grows, we are forced to wonder what Austin would look like at the age he would now be.  And his birthday is always a day to reflect on who how things might be if he were still here.

I've never really known how to celebrate his birthday as he's no longer with us.  While we want to acknowledge the life we shared, it is hard to feel joyful when the loss is so present.  July 8 will always be bittersweet.

Family has only gathered on his birthday once, on what would've been his 16th.  All other years his day has been quietly observed by just the three of us.  Never knowing how one of us might feel, this has been somewhat simpler, though at times makes me sad.

The first birthday after we planted a tree in his memory and it has continued to grow, showering down cascades of beautiful red blooms - always the week of July 8.  Other years we have spent the day in nature, sent up balloons or paper lanterns, visited a ballpark, and painted rocks for kids to find.  Often, we will donate something in the amount of his age.  On his 21st, Noah paid for 21 snow cones at a local summer shack.  This year, we donated to a fundraiser for a family that suffered a recent tragedy.  Just small ways to keep his memory alive.

Every year we are sent sweet signs - hugs from above we call them, where we strongly feel his presence or something will remind of us him.  We feel it is Austin's way of saying hello and he loves us.  This year was no different.

His birthday fell on a Sunday so we went to church as normal, though I'm always worried about public outings on such a trigger-filled occasion.  Noah actually declined going, for what I thought to be the work week catching up to him at the time.  Tim and I, along with my mom, wore "Austin shirts" - matching Ts we had made after losing him and a way to raise funds for his scholarship fund.  And it didn't take five minutes for someone to make a snide remark, not realizing the symbolism to why we wore them.  So Tim sat steaming during worship, as tears fell for me.  ...Not quite the way I wanted to start the service.

But as we sat, the needed whispers came bringing peace to still us.

The pastor announced good news that between VBS and a mission trip, 14 kids had given their hearts to Jesus.  This was over the course of a couple weeks so the timing seemed quite perfect, given it was shared on Austin's birthday.  14...Tim and I smiled knowingly at each other and settled in to hear the message.

Sometimes sermons sting, especially when you are coping with loss.  I can recall one shortly after losing him that I actually walked out -because I couldn't hear the phrase, "mom prayed hard enough to bring her back" one more time.  But this day, it was just the wording we needed. 

The title was "God WILL give you more than you can handle."

There's enough I can say about the opposite of that (and something we've been told more times than I can count) it has spurred an upcoming post for Still Standing magazine.  Stay tuned... But for now, I'll just say it was soothing to have our pastor speak to the topic on this specific day.

As we traveled out of the way for lunch, we passed a favorite spot of mine I drive by when working.  It is on a stretch of road with no available turn offs so I can only enjoy it while whizzing by.  We both commented about how beautiful it was and wanting to take a picture on the way home.  Since Tim was driving on our way back, I needed him to pass it and turn around so that I was closest to the window for a good shot.  During the U-turn I noticed the mile marker - 23.  The biggest symbolic number we have for Austin, his old jersey and favorite digits. 

We shared memories of him on our drive and noticed how all the songs seemed to be his favorites, as if he were sending a playlist for us to enjoy.  Returning home, we opted to spend the remainder of the day at rest and it seemed "ok" for a day we tread lightly each year.  

And then I realized my baby didn't go to church because the day hit him hard.  Sometimes, as parents, you are so focused on your spouse/self and the feelings you might have, you forget about how others might be dealing with grief.  For Noah, the years have seemed to grow harder as he ages.  Perhaps it is because now is the stage where he and his brother could really run around together.  Now is the stage he could be an uncle and spend time with a family that will never get to be.  Now is the stage where a young man could use the advice and quality time with a big brother.  And that breaks my heart all over again.  If you are the praying type, I would ask that you send up some for my guy in this stage of his life.  

Birthdays after loss will never be ones I look forward to but the one thing I can celebrate is knowing where Austin is.  Because all those years ago, he gave Jesus his heart too.  So until eternity where I'll see him again, I'll spend time here finding the joy in every day.

Love in the Lil Smokies

25 years...

Tim and I celebrated our Silver anniversary last week with a romantic getaway in Brown County, Indiana.  And what a beautiful setting it was...

Part of the fun of vacation for me is researching new places to visit and discovering stops in all the nooks and crannies along the way.  Having never been, but often recommended, Nashville, Indiana - or "The Little Smokies" as it is known seemed like the perfect place for two lovebirds.

We stayed in a cabin between Nashville and Bloomington, which gave us the best of both worlds.  Peace and quiet, rolling hills and windy roads where we slept; a picturesque drive to shopping in Nashville (comparable to downtown Gatlinburg), or big city choices in Bloomington.  

Stopping at a Farmers Market grocery store (one of the highlights for me!), we stocked up on healthy snacks and breakfast goodies for our cabin before checking in.  Truly, we'd have been content to stay there the entire time.  Between the hot tub in the back, deer and wildlife watching, and swinging on the porch in the summer rain, I was in my happy place.

But we did enjoy our ventures out too.  

The curves demanded you slow down and the hills all but made our phones useless, other than for occasional GPS and photo taking, so we were forced to spend time talking and window watching.  

Not that we needed the excuse.  

We were content doing so and some of our best memories on the trip come from our time just exploring the countryside.  

For our anniversary dinner, we drove out in the middle of nowhere to an abandoned town, named Story.  Just when we thought we were lost, a quaint storybook setting appeared.

Story Inn

I couldn't have written a better location to celebrate our 25th.  Full of history and ambiance, we lingered over our farm-to-table feast by candlelight.  After dinner, strolling the town felt like we stepped back in time.  The early 1900s is one of my favorite decades and I could envision what life might have been like then.

The next day we escaped to Bean Blossom in search of a covered bridge 

and had lunch on a flower and herb farm.  

Whisked upstairs in a tea house, we dined alone in a bedroom 

full of knick-knacks and antique memories.  

The weather was perfect nearly our entire trip.  

Raining only long enough to cool down the summer air.  

The soft drops played music on the wooden bridge and 

made our path exploring flowers even prettier.  

On our last morning, we stopped just outside of Bloomington for a lovely brunch overlooking the lake and hillside.  This was our warmest day but still pleasant enough to eat alfresco.  Truly, I would've sat through any temperature to take in this view...

How sweet it was.

I'm still smiling from the trip and moments shared.  

Blessed to have this husband of mine for 25 plus years and 

joyfully expectant for what the future holds. 

I'd Ruther go to Druther's

After twenty-plus years of Father's days, it becomes difficult to do something new.  This dad, in particular, doesn't wear a tie.  The key to my hubby's heart is food so we normally will cook him some type of feast.  The past couple of years, having a chef-to-be in the house, Noah has cooked his Father's Day meal.

This year though, we wanted to surprise him with a road trip.  And we were successful.

A heat wave rolled in just in time for the weekend but it actually helped our surprise.  Our church has three services and we normally attend the latest because we Sunday is about our only day of the week to linger and sleep in a bit.  But that weekend, I mentioned to Tim that it might be best to go to the first before the church got hot.  Ever the flexible fella, he agreed.

Little did he know, it made our plans easier to kidnap and escape after service!

He figured something was up because Noah rode to church with us when he usually drives himself.  (Guess it isn't cool to ride up with the parental units!)   All joking aside, he often picks up a friend or two.  But this day, he drove us.  We just mentioned that we might grab a bite to eat after when he questioned it.

Once church was over, Noah entered an address on his GPS and we set out for our adventure.  As we turned an out-of-the-ordinary way on the parkway, Tim was confused.

"Where are ya'll taking me?"  he laughed.  And then he realized why I asked if he needed to pee before we left church.

We giggled and told him to settle in for a long drive.  About thirty minutes in, Tim acted like he knew where we were going but I knew there wasn't any way he would.

Just as he was about to burst -from anticipation and the need to relieve himself, we entered the parking lot.

"Hey, it's a Druthers!" he said, surprised because there's only one left in the world.  And then it dawned on him we weren't just making a pit stop, this was our destination.


Just a fast food dive to most people, Druthers had a cult following back in the day.  It began as a Burger Queen and was a popular place in the 70s and early 80s.  And it was where my hubby got his first job.

Still in High School, he'd walk the block or two after classes and work until close.  In our area, we haven't one open in over thirty years.  We knew this one still existed just a couple hours away and had been on our bucket list but hadn't got around to visiting.  Father's Day seemed like the perfect time to check it off.

Thanks to the cheap prices they still offer, we were able to offer a buffet-style sampling for Tim to take a culinary trip down memory lane.  Noah matched him bite for bite and they were both belly-busting full by the time we left.  Tim happily snored half the way home so I'd count it as a successful surprise.

   

 

I was just grateful for another year to celebrate.  Last Father's Day was a scary one, Tim just recently released from the hospital.  He's had a rough couple years health-wise with no real answers.  And to a momma who lost her son to an "unknown virus" to say anxiety and fears have been high, would be an understatement.  Watching them in the car on the way up, I was reminded of last year's attempt of an outing.  We made it to the restaurant before Tim had a breathing attack and became too ill to enjoy the day.

2017

So much changes year to year...and I'm thankful for the blessings we've been given.  

Life is short and precious, no matter how many days you have with loved ones.

2018