Friday, November 12, 2010

Just Breathe....

I've noticed this week, and probably most of November, I've been more stressed than usual.  Little things I would normally overlook are getting the best of me.  Some days, I feel like the cartoon character who's head gets red and steamy until it pops. 

I've had a headache for well over a week, and although I haven't made it to the doctor, I'm self diagnosing it as stress.  This week, it has seemed that nothing has gone right, or at least the way I planned it.  I've juggled the yearly fun of electing my medical benefits and trying to predict the future to select my flex card amount.  My schedule has changed a billion times.  Yesterday, I drove over an hour one way for a meeting that the other party forgot about.  Noah felt puny last night and I tossed and turned all night, worrying about him.  This morning, I hoped for the best but his last minute run to the toilet decided that a sick day was necessary. 

And then today I watched the trash collectors literally toss my trash can in the MIDDLE of the street.  My driveway was less than a foot away from them yet they chose to leave it in the street.  The past few weeks, I've noticed upon coming home that my trash can was in the street or blocking my drive and wondered if the wind was blowing it out there.  Today I discovered that I've obviously somehow offended the garbage gods and they've decided to take out their frustrations on my can.  As I went outside and noticed that it was the only can in the street, I had the little cartoon-head explode-moment and realized I am seriously over stressed!

It's obvious why I am.  I know to expect added frustrations, short tempers, hurt feelings, sickness, and all that from myself and my family this time of year.  As we mark the days on the calendar, we prepare ourselves yet again to relive the traumatic night of losing our beautiful and precious boy.  Some days it truly is overwhelming.

It's when I realize that the trash guy is stealing my joy that I know it's got the best of me.  So what is there to do?  Well, I can say that mine is an extreme instance, but who doesn't have stress in their lives? 
I understand and know where my stress is coming from.  I recognize it and own it when I need to.  I cry when I need to.  I vent when I need to.  I get down on my knees and pray when I need to.  And, when I don't think I need to.

And, I search harder for joy.  I find extra special doses of happiness in the simplest things.  I do the things that comfort me, whether it be in an inspirational song or a familiar scripture.  I pause at a beautiful sky and feel the connection.  I relieve stress by dancing and get the added benefit of a workout.  I savor each sip of coffee and let it warm me inside and out.  I hold my family extra close and linger just a little bit longer with each kiss or hug.  I laugh, and when I find something that makes me laugh, I watch it again and again....and I share it with others to spread the joy.

Dancing Babies on GMA


Tracy said...

Heather, you never cease to warm my heart and inspire me. I love you for that. Thank you!

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