The promise of Spring

I find much beauty and peace in a blanket of white snow.  When the world is frosted in white, I find calm.  One of my former teachers said it best yesterday with, "God can paint a beautiful picture just using one color."  While there are so many magical views snow can create, winter itself can be very gloomy.  The shorter days, increased darkness, and cold temperatures can make it difficult to stay positive.  When not dusted in sugary sprinkles, winter can seem very grey.

This past Monday is said to be to be most depressing time of the year.  It has something to do with the combination of weather, Christmas debt, and failed resolutions and is thus known as "Blue Monday".  The date falls too closely to Noah's birthday for me to stay depressed but I can vividly remember our first winter without Austin and how cold and lonely we felt.  The frigid temperatures invited us all the more to close up and shut down. 

Just about two months after losing him, Kentucky was hit with a historic ice storm.  We were completely frozen in winter blues, being forced inside, huddled around whatever small source of heat we could find.  You were thrown into survival mode, without any preparation.  It was as if someone dropped you off for a camping trip with no supplies or plans.  Days were spent ensuring you had a way to stay warm and fed and nothing else mattered.  All contact with the outside world ceased, as cell phones were undependable and of little use.  It was a stressful situation for any family but added to our already fragile selves, there were days that were completely unbearable.  I was grateful for the dark, just to cry myself to sleep. 

Remembering back to the ice storm, reminds me of dealing with the grief of losing a child.  It is unexpected, unimaginable, and no parent could ever be prepared for such loss.  There are points where you feel you can't go another step and yet somehow you do.  Somewhere inside something takes over and you just survive, you just get through.  It is the coldest, loneliest, most horrible season you will ever experience.  But, hope eventually appears...like the first bloom of a spring flower...the first peek of sunshine in a day...the first glimpse of a butterfly, greeting you hello.  As the ice begins to melt and the cold gradually grows warmer, you start to change. 

No matter how dark and lonely it can feel, with God's help, it can and does improve.  The winter of your life will never stay forever, as the season of spring and hope is always near.  I know the promise that comes with spring.

The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring.  - Isaiah 58:11