Friday, September 24, 2010

ThankFALL moments

I don't know how the trees and sky realize what our calendar says but nature seemed to know it's the first day of fall. Yesterday morning, on my drive in, I was just absorbed by the beauty of everything fall. I love the sharp contrast of the burnt orange fields swaying against a powder blue sky. The trees, like a patchwork quilt, almost changed overnight to proudly presented their colors.

My favorite landscape view along my drive is an open field full of varying colors of green, to gold, to brown and nestled in the middle is a bright red barn. In the early hours, the sun peeks around spreading beams of light across it. Above, the sky is so blue and calm with wispy tufts of puffy clouds scattered throughout. I wish I could just screech my truck to a stop in the middle of the parkway and take a photo. Somehow I don't think any camera could capture all the beauty of that image though.

I really enjoy this time of year, as so many of my favorite things happen in the fall. Aside from the beautiful display nature gives us, the weather is calmer and gentler too. I love the crisp, cool mornings when everything is still covered with a mist of frost, but that the days are warm enough to still be outdoors. It's comfortable enough to wear a sweatshirt but I can sometimes get away with shorts and flip-flops too (this outfit matching is one that my husband just shakes his head and laughs at!).

Apples...pumpkins...spices of the season and all the sweet flavors of fall excite me! We enjoy going to the orchards and festivals this time of year. The first sip of apple cider each season is so sweet. Noah loves having an array of pumpkins to decorate with and this year, much to our surprise, we have our own selection growing in the backyard! I can drink coffee anytime of day and not feel odd...and begin enjoying chai tea again. And soups! This is the time of year when I plan to make at least one pot soup a week. There's just nothing better than the smell of a soup simmering on the stove. Soup warms you from the inside out and sooths the soul!

Fall is different now too though. November, a month I loved so much before, as it sparked the start of the holiday sesason for us, is not the same. Holidays and family just go together and our family is forever changed. Thanksgiving, which used to be my favorite holiday, is for now a reminder of what we lost. It is a heavy time of year for us, when everyone else is filled with the holiday spirit. It's hard and it's sad and I don't know if it will ever be easy or comforting.

So, what I hold on to are the portions of fall I do enjoy and love. I take a little more excitement in a tree fully bloomed in color than most. I savor that smooth sweet yet spicy bite of pumpkin pie. I let the first sweatshirt of the season hug and comfort me. And, most of all, I cling to treasured memories with Austin. I keep his loving spirit close to me and remind myself of the gift we were given with him, short as it was. And although a part of me will always be pulled to the time when he was here, I work very hard to live in the moment and enjoy every single second of now.


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